This week I have been feeling a clarity that I don’t think I have ever felt. And I have been feeling it in all aspects of my life. To give an example, Trey told me some of the ideas he had for Jackson’s Christmas present. The first two ideas Trey had  were 1. Knife and 2. BB gun. My first thoughts were ” what the fuck? I don’t want my son freaking killing himself with a knife or a BB gun”. But I didn’t freak out or even voice my concern. I just said to Trey, ” honey when you were young your grandpa always used a knife. He used it for work he used it to whittle things. It was as essential for him as my keys are for me. So when you were little and he gave you your first knife he taught you how to use it. And you already had a healthy respect for it by watching him. On the other hand, Jackson has never been around people who use knives for anything else then cutting food, so I don’t think he would even know what to use the knife for. And as far as the BB Gun goes , you would have to be around enough to teach him because I have never ever used one so again I couldn’t teach him . ” I have learned so much from dating Trey. The biggest thing I have learned is that as much as I don’t want to admit it, I have stereotyped people with different upbringings then me.  Last year I had a revelation about Mosey Oak ( camouflage) products. I was visiting Trey’s mom and went into the local Tractor store where Trey worked as a kid and I saw Mosey Oak Christmas wrapping paper. Mosey oak designer shoes. Mosey oak calendars. It hit me like a freaking bolt of lightening!! Bam people are representative for how they grow up. Just because I grew up in a NY style fashion doesn’t mean everybody else did and doesn’t mean one person is better then the next. I drove home from Trey’s place, which is 3 hours from my house today. On the road there were all these Christmas stands selling fireworks. I had no idea that fireworks were so popular as Christmas presents. Again, I didn’t grow up around that but the fact that there were so many of these stands means that other people did. So my goal is to stop judging things that are alien to me. I don’t foresee myself hunting , wearing Mosey Oak, or being a focus of an episode of My Big Fat Redneck Wedding, but I want to try and understand that those things represent a certain culture!

There are so many other things I have become clear on. And when I say this, I mean my own feelings. Recently, a few things are going on in Coyote world. And I realized, wow I take all the risk in Coyote Ugly.  In the last 17/18 years if the rent is late , if there is a lawsuit, even a bad review, its all my risk. And the risk is two part. If one of the bars is low funds I lend the bar money. Others get bonuses and some years I don’t. I have to defend the company from lawsuits both personally and financially. And if there is something bad that is said it always coincides with my name. Regardless, there has been a whole lot more good then bad but I am at a point of clarity where I can isolate my feelings on some things that have gone on.

I am feeling very thankful for a lot of things. I dont have a lot of friends but the few I have are incredible. And really the best thing is my son. Wow I am blessed!!

We were invited by Jamie Tebbe, owner of Pro Style Financial, to go to the Saints- Cowboys game on saturday night. What a day. Jamie is a financial advisor for many pro athletes and I got to meet some of the athletes that invest in the various Coyotes. I met Orlando Scandrick a corner back for the cowboys,Jay Ratliff Defensive end for the cowboys. Bobby McCray, defensive end for the Saints. And possible future investor Pierre thomas, running back, for the New Orleans saints.

What a game! We were in Bobby McCray’s suite with his freinds and family. The next suite over was Reggie Bush’s suite. Kim Kardashian kept going back and forth from Reggie’s suite to ours. She’s tiny and I would describe her butt as a bubble butt its not wide at all. Regardless, my team lost!! But after the game we met up with a few saints players and I have a new prospective. They really want to win the superbowl. There is determination there. In fact when I was specking with a few of the players, there doesn’t even seem to be doubt that they will get to the superbowl. I felt a sense of relief that they arent still chasing the undefeated season so that some of their injured players can rest and be ready for the play offs. Even though we lost I left that night thinking that this was a good thing!!! GO SAINTS!!!

By the way it really sucks when a 6’5′ Defensive end asks you why Oklahoma dividends went down last month. ” I promised that the dividends will go up after the first of the year so OKC get your game on!!” By the way, the players that invested in Nashville are very happy. Thanks Nashville!!

Yesterday I received a call from ABC’s show Nightline. They were doing a piece on Elizabeth Gilbert to promote her new book. They asked if they could take some B roll at the NY bar as a backdrop for things that have impacted her life. If your not familiar with Liz, she wrote a bestselling book called Eat, Pray, Love. (Julia Roberts was signed to play Liz in the movie adaptation of the book. ) Liz worked for me years ago when the bar was only a year or two old. A few years after she stopped working at Coyote , she wrote an article for GQ magazine called ” The Muse of Coyote Ugly” . We have it on the press part of the website. Its so funny but yesterday I had Juliana, NY AM, make sure that their were old pictures of Liz up at the bar for her interview on Nightline. Juliana kept emailing me pictures of the old photos on the wall of Liz, myself and other bartenders during that time. So needless to say, during the last day I have been in a ” walk down memory lane” mood. Juliana sent me a picture of Liz, myself, Chris, and Dawn from the first year. I look like I am twelve years old in that picture. When I look at the 4 of us I think about how different each of us was and is today. Liz, was always a writer. She bartended so she could write. Smart as a whip. She used to love writting on the sandwich board outside. ” Free Pony rides” ” Roaches check in but they don’t check out.” People would actual come in asking about the pony rides?  Everyone knew that Coyote was a temporary stop for her. Obviously her achievements have eclipsed most peoples. Chris was one of my best friends.She was one of my roomates before I opened Coyote. ( she used to date John Stewert before he was huge)She was and is  Gorgeous. She drank too much on her shifts but the customers loved her. I used to speak to her all the time but I haven’t heard from her in a couple of years . I need to find her and reconnect. Dawn was NUTS. Really just nuts. People knew if they came in to visit her on her shifts that they would be staying all night long and that they better expect a 3 day hangover. Out of the thousands of girls that have worked for me there are 3 girls that make the outragously wild category 1. DawnNY 2. kasi NY 3. Jolene New Orleans. The last I heard about Dawn was that she moved to New Mexico. I hope she is doing well.( I have this faint memory of Dawn and her live in boyfriend breaking up. The reason it is faint because she was so upset that she would come down to the bar every day when I opened ( not her shifts) and start drinking. Unfortunately, I would join her.)

I could go on all day so I will stop!

I just got the OKC manager’s log from Daniel. I started laughing because we just terminated the OKC AM and now Daniel has to work the shift. The numbers were up so he did a good job!! They have a new girl who started last night named LIL. I don’t remember in all these years and all the girls if we have had another Lil. Liliana is not a common name in the states but Lilian is and so is Lily. Maybe I have just blocked it out or the Lils’ weren’t that good! Well good luck New OKC Lil. With my name you better be great!

Finally a beautiful day in New Orleans!

Latin family drama. My mother is at an all time high with the drama calls. ” Lilianita, your dad is sick. What will I do if he dies. Bury me next to him.” ” Mom, he just has a cold.” ” Lilianita, I can’t afford to go to the gym. What am I going to do? ” ” Lilianita I need a ticket to Colombia to visit my brother. Everyday I cry about my mother and my brother.” The melancholy and drama is getting worse. When we were little and my mom’s mother died , my mom wore black for 3 years. 3 YEARS!! One day I said to her ” Mom would you please start wearing normal clothes.” To this day she will say ” You hurt me so much when you told me to dress with colors.” When my childhood dog died my mother built a shrine for him. I went to Colombia when I was 11 years old , by myself, to visit my relatives. In the first week  my aunt’s ( my mom’s brother’s wife) mom died and the pope died. They slept for three days in the funeral home and people were crying and collapsing in the streets. My aunt complained to my mom that I wasn’t emotional enough. My mother called me and told me that I better start crying more or I would get punished! The other day my mother left me a 5 minute message. 5 minutes on my voicemail. I know I should be more understanding but the constant melancholy is so draining. In my mother’s defense there is a long line of drama in her family.

She is going to read this and then I am in deep shit. Doesn’t matter how old you are , your mother still has a way of torturing you. Last year , my sister ( the saint in the family) was driving my mother around . They got back to my sister’s house and my mother proceeded to complain that my sister hadn’t taken her to another place she wanted to go. My mother just kept at it until my sister in a frenzy put my mother in her car and ended up driving over her own dog. Thank god the dog ended up living.

Now I will call my mother.

I sent Lee to OKC this weekend. A very bad report came back. I can’t say I am surprised because that’s why I sent him. The girls got a good review but a lot of other things were really falling apart. Now its put up or shut up time.  I know that bar can be great but it can’t just manage itself. urgh

I am reading Dennis Leary’s new book, ” Why We Suck.” It is hysterical. Some of the things he talks about are exactly what my friends and I talk about. He covers everything from race, child rearing, celebrity  and lack there of childrearing, politics, oprah, and what makes men and women different. I love the pictures of the male and the female brains in the book. Too funny.

This is an excerpt from the book;

“Our ( men) emotional makeup is made up of sports and sports memories. We don’t cry unless our favorite player is forced to retire or we’re watching a movie ABOUT a sport or favorite player who retires or any movie connected to baseball- which reminds us of our dads. You may wonder why your man wont shed a tear while you collapse on his shoulder during Leonardo Di Pussio’s death by freezing ocean in titanic but stick a ” Field of Dreams” and fast forward to the scene where Kevin Costner plays catch with his dad? That’s a different story…” Then he recoomends to women to buy a movie called “Brian’s Song” ( another sports movie) and watch your man crumble into tears.

Really some very funny things in this book. Laughter truly is the best medicine!brains

I am tired. I took a plane every day for 5 days straight. It was so exciting to see the new dances at the anniversary party!

The Nashville bar is so great it just needs a little TLC.  I think some positive energy would do that bar a world of good.

Last week I called jacqui and I said that I  wanted two new dances for the Nashville anniversary party. I even had the songs picked out already. I met her yesterday in Nashville and in her hotel room we choreographed the two new dances. It took us 7 hours to complete these dances and not to toot our horns but they are pretty great.

Well today I stayed and watched her teach the girls just one song before I caught my flight home. Urgh. This song is so powerful and they just didn’t own it. There were a few girls who looked really good performing it. But the rest of the girls looked just plain old spastic. I am heading back tomorrow for the party. I am hoping that tonight they practice and the songs look great for the party!

My son just asked me why pee is yellow? I must look it up

Thank god for San Antonio!!!After reading the manager’s logs I am not sure if I want to kill myself or go Kent State on people!

OKC and Austin not great but not bottom of the barrel horrible!!

That’s it everyone else is painfully slow.

Yesterday after the psychic vampires sucked my energy my son came home and I was laughing and cheery within minutes. I had to quiz him in french for a history test. He was laughing so hard at how bad my french is we actually recorded it. Very funny.

This is the email I just opened from jackson’s school.

“Dear Parents,

It has been brought to my attention that two students in our Kindergarten
classes have developed ringworm.”

I had a dog that had ringworm! You are freaking kidding me.
I have to think positive thoughts but Jackson has had swine flu, sore throats, allergies.
It seems like in the last 3 months he has caught everything. Gross!!! Please god, not for me but for Jackson, no ringworm!!

Very busy day today. Today wasn’t a great day but t wasn’t horrible either.
A few very great projects on the forefront.
The complaints I have about today is that I feel completely drained of energy.
I heard an interview with a ” vampire” and she said it correctly. Or maybe the term is “Psychic Vampire”
There are some people who are energy suckers and they have the ability to suck all your positive energy. Today I feel very sapped of energy. And the people who normally don’t effect me in that way, definitely effected me that way today.

We just received an inquiry about licensing. “… My boyfriend wanted to buy me a Victoria Secret but its only corporate stores so I came up with the idea of licensing a Coyote. Don’t worry about the money. He is 82 years old , filthy rich, and will buy me anything.” The words of a true entrepenuer. Jeff emailed me this inquiry with the title “We all need a sugar daddy or a sugar momma”  Its always been against my beliefs to have anyone pay my way in life but now that I am getting older I do wonder what I would ask for from my 82 year old, filthy rich, buy me anything boyfriend?

Very busy day!!! I have been nonstop on the computer today. I just went through all the manager’s logs for the last week. It took everything I had not to hang myself. Across the board every bar did horrific numbers last week. Urgh.

Trying to meet Jacqui to do a few new dance numbers. Sending two scouts out this weekend. Let’s end the year with a bang.

Go Saints!!!!