Ah the holidays . Jackson and I are in Raleigh, NC visiting my family . So far nothing too crazy . The deterioration in my mom’s health is unbelievable . She is wheel chair bound permently . We have this delusion that aging creates a kindness and more gentile demeanor . No it just exentuates the already existent personality . So crazy gets crazier . My mom’s family in Colombia wants her to go to Colombia. We talked about this for hours yesterday . Who is going to take care of her? How will she get to Colombia ? Exhausting . And in my mom’s mind this is a visit but my sister and I believe that it’s a one way ticket according to her health. I hope to god I don’t leave Jackson in the position that my parents have left us. Dying miserably in her home country ? Or dying miserably here? Not sure what the answer is? In a moment of dementia she wanted us to scramble for the phone so she could buy Lumenescence on the infomercial . At 80 she was desperate for the airbrush makeup kit on the commercial . Shopaholic while lucid and during dementia . I shouldn’t make fun I will probably be exactly the same .