Lil Spill

April 7, 2012

In the midst of feeling horribly sorry for myself , my dad was rushed to the hospital. He has COPD and sometimes he really can’t breathe. So scary. I can’t imagine feeling like you are suffocating. He was definitely depressed today when I talked to him . Watching my parents getting older disspells this idea that aging is graceful. That’s a beautiful dream but aging isn’t graceful. I think the best you can do is come to peace with the deterioration of your own body.
Yesterday while having my pity party, two people laughed at my fractured foot and said ” well I can’t lie it gives me joy that you can’t work out so hard.” I found that so mean. Yes I work out all the time but it’s probably more for my brain then my body. So last night I let myself feel bad and this morning I woke up and my first thoughts ” fuck them, I can figure out work outs.” so today I did 200 sit ups, I perched my legs on the big ball and did 100 push ups . Then I did 15 minutes just using arms on the rowing machine. ” screw you haters”
Our Russian partners are letting me postpone until I see the orthopedist. Hopefully he can create some contraption that can keep me safe for the trip. I wonder if he can match the height of the cast to some incredible stilettos? Lol

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