Lil Spill

April 5, 2011

I have come to terms with my idiosyncrasies . But its actually occurring to me, that as much as I try, I cant get rid of the fucked up upbringing I have had. Recently I realize that my actions are such an obvious reaction to my childhood. Something finally occured to me this week and I realized I need to face it.
I love to eat. I really love to eat. But I am always worried about my weight. As I got older it has been harder to maintain my weight in fact there was about a year and a half period that I was probably about 15 lbs over weight. Now I am in pretty good shape but I have become obsessed with working out when ever I eat. It’s become a never ending cycle. I eat breakfast , well that signifies 20 minutes on the elliptical. I eat lunch well then I better do a work out video. Then I eat dinner and have dessert well that’s another 20 minutes. At the end of the day I have worked out between 3 and 4 hours. When I am traveling. I get up early. I do jumping Jacks. I do push ups. Lunges. This is insane. I am exhausted. Ok put this on the list of why I need to go to therapy.

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