I had a huge meltdown yesterday. Today I have 4 things I am very happy about. 1.I had such a headache yesterday that I thought I would have an aneurism ( spelling) and I didn't. 2. Miami passed one of their inspections 3. The new foundation I bought to use for the show is not breaking me out. 4. My son is great
That's all I have to say

Crap!! God damn it. Tomorrow I start filming and I have no bras that fit. I know most guys think that's great but I hate it. I am officially a 32 D and I can't stand it! ( I like C) I only have one bra that fits and the show starts tomorrow. I have barely bought any clothes this year. I am a bag and shoe girl, so tonight I was mortified to think that I will probably wear a shirt that I wore on last year's show. Again Crap!
Today I should get the Mommy of the Year award for Mommies that can't bake. Jackson wanted to make a gingerbread house for Santa, but not from a kit. He stated very decisively that buying a kit was like cheating and not as much fun. So yesterday I had to make gingerbread from scratch and today we cut forms and decorated them. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I bought a kit just in case. And I can assure you, we will need to use the kit because my ginger bread came out too thick.
Got an e-mail from Daniel today saying that he was really sick. " Oh I feel so sorry for you. You just got home from a week vacation" I told him he must of caught it from the last stripper he was with. ( not that there is anything wrong with that).
Off to Nashville

Thank god for Nashville. It's the only bar that did well last night. Painfull. Rehearsals start in Miami today. I am hoping we didn't lose any girls by having had postponed the opening.
Tomorrow we start filming the Reality show. I had a nightmare last night that a few of the girls couldn't pour a drink and I was mortified that they were on TV.
All the weight I lost on the raw food diet is back on after Thanksgiving. I am going to have to buy some clothes today for the show.
Busy day today

Thanksgiving takes everything out of you. I invited my gay neighbor. ( not that there is anything wrong with being gay. He just seems to enjoy telling everyone how gay he is) He came over the day before to help set up. I left to pick up my parents from the airport. While I was out he actually moved some of my furniture around. He set the table with his china, not mine. ( a lot of gaul in my mind) But I can't lie the house looked gorgeous when we returned. " lil I hope you don't mind I fagged up your house."
I decided to brine the turkey. Which I started the day before. On the cooking instructions it called for 3 1/2 hours of cooking. My turkey took about 5 1/2 hours. So dinner was very late. My mother, the nieghbor and Jacob were driving me crazy. " if I was you I would do it this way. You really need to do this... etc etc" Everyone was on top of me telling me how they would cook each item . I was getting so upset that at one point I actually left the kitchen to calm down in my bedroom. When I came down they were all turning on each other. So the pressure was off me. All in all, it was a wonderful thanksgiving. Next year, I've decided I will invite noone. It will be Jackson and myself. I will cook the turkey but cater all the side dishes. And the piece de resistance; Everything will get served on paper plates. ( I am still doing the dishes from Thursday)
The next few days I have two things I need to focus on, Miami and shopping for the reality show.
On another note, I got eyelash extensions. I love them. Noone has really noticed them. In fact Jackson is the only person who has complimented me on them. My mother has a theory about everyone's indifference to my new eye lashes. She claims that Jackson's lashes are so long and gorgeous that mine are unnoticeable when I am in the same room with him. I think that is a very sound theory. My son is breathtaking. So I will concede to his eyelash beauty. Regardless of people's indifference I still love my new eyelashes and that's what matters!

I love mornings at my house. It usually takes me about twenty minutes to get Jackson up but when he gets up he is always happy. He has never ever been cranky in the morning. This morning we blasted the radio and danced around the kitchen while we were getting ready for school. I love it. How in the world did I get so lucky? My son is perfect. I wish I could capture these moments in a bottle and open them to relive them again and again.
Big inspection in Miami today. I am crossing my fingers!

The Ft. Lauderdale's log last night said something I thought to be very peculiar. "We had a good night due to the Princess cruiselines docked here due to illness." What the hell does that mean? Epidemic of flu? Food Poisoning? What kind of an illness would make a whole cruise liner delay their departure? I hope they are not contagious.
So 6 weeks ago I ordered a mosaic tile table on line. I haven't received the table as of yet, so I tried to contact the company. The Phone Line is disconnected and no information as to their location. I am so pissed. I called American Express to ask them to look into it. I wanted that table so badly. Now I have no table to serve on for Thanksgiving. Urgh. I hate getting screwed.
A lot of work this week!

Finally a story in the news worth something. A man named Larry Stewart revealed that he was " the secret Santa" . For years he has handed out money to people living on the streets that were hungry, cold, and needy but he always kept his identity a secret. I read an article about him and it really is a wonderful story of compassion and good will toward mankind. At first the amounts were small , ten and twenty dollar bills . Then he started handing out hundred dollar bills. They estimate that he has given out over a million dollars through the years to needy people around christmas time. I love stories like that.
Nobody pushes my buttons like Lee and yesterday he pushed and pushed until I exploded. He repeatedly does the same thing.
Lee in Miami( in hostile freanzied voice): " I'm not sure what vendors Jeff M met with ? I'm not sure what's going on? Someone needs to get finished with this immediately."
Me ( in New Orleans) : "Jeff was there all week did you ask him?"
Lee: "Well Lil, I don't think it got done"
Me: " So you sat right next to him. Stayed in the same apartment all week and you couldn't turn around and just ask him face to face without calling me?"
Lee: " I didn't want to step on your AOR"

Such Bullshit. Jeff M spoke with all the vendors everything is done. But it annoys me to no end that Lee couldn't just ask Jeff? They spent 5 days in the same apartment yet he couldn't just turn around and ask Jeff face to face without involving me?"
That really gets under my skin.
Oh and believe me Kevin is pissing me off just as much.
Kevin: "Lil I am going to have to spend 24 hours a day at the site till the opening..." ( feel sorry for me. my life is so hard)
Me: " So what Kevin? You delayed the opening 3 times. I don't give a shit if you have to hammer and build the bar yourself we are opening on the 6th."
This Miami project has us all on edge. I can't wait untill the bar is opened.

Today I had a second group of girls come in for the calendar. We had a lot of fun. Def Leopard was in the bar so all the girls were really excited. Next door was a mini kiss concert. I am so pissed I couldn't go to it!
The reason I am writting this late at night is because I can't believe where my life has taken me. Travis and I have been on this raw fruit and vegetable diet. Well tonight before I left the bar we were high fiving about getting colonics. Yes I definitely want to get a colonic because I think it would be good for me, but has my life really gotten to the point where I am high fiving to do that. What the hell happened?

On November 27th and also November 29th, the Fox network will air a 2 part interview with OJ Simpson entitled " If I did it. Here's How it happened" That's crazy. Did his lawyer approve this? Is that completely insane? Really he must be completely insane!
A few heated discussions with the production company for the tv show. At the end of the day pushing the Miami opening back has really screwed me. It's such a emotional situation for me cause I truly want to do a good job on the show but I also want to complete my job in Miami and I can't do both with the tv schedule. Then the other emotional issue is being away from Jackson. She actually is so frustrated with me today that she told me to quit the show.
I definitely am feeling bad today. It didn't help that last night rained and a flood came out of my bedroom ceiling!

Holy Crap! Had a meeting with the accountants yesterday. I hope we resolved things. It would be nice to make more then I pay out in taxes for a change.
Bars sucked last night.
Jeff and I were talking this morning about a particular credit card scam that has happened through the website sales. I won't get into the specifics but Coyote merchendise ends up in Vietnam.
That also reminds me that we need to find a charity in Africa or South America to send unsellable merchendise? ( I pulled one of Lee's completely inappropriate designs from all the bars) He told me that he has 10 boxes of these shirts sitting in his garage. It would make me very happy to know that people in need would be able to use our clothing.
A lot of paperwork today.

Just got off a company conference call. Grueling! An hour an a half listening to Kevin rant and rave about various projects gave me a headache. He claims that he has to always play " Devil's advocate" . You know how laborous that is when you just want someone to give you a straight opinion? Grueling ! Busy day at work today. All the bars did well last night I'm pleased.
It seems that I have some republican readers that were upset with my comments. All I can say is this, if you come into one of my bars I'll take your money no matter whether you are a republican or not. America is about being able to have your own opinions and of course capitalize on them.
Tomorrow Travis and I start our raw food diet. I better eat up tonight.

What a great week. Not only for this country but for this company. We had a few girls come down to start shooting the 2007 calendar. ( I know we are way behind the 8 ball) A lot of fun and I just saw some of the raw shots and they look great. Last night we took the girls out for dinner. Freaking Lala ordered a lobster ( at Mortons that's a lot of money) So we were joking and I told Lee she just ate his Christmas bonus. On the Q T , Jeff Myers had a friend ( female friend) come into town and meet us for dinner. Let's just say that they left the table secretly for a while. That must of been the greatest 10 minutes of her life! Probably not her life but maybe his. It was Chastity from Nashville's birthday last night. The big 23. ( Barf)
I am just truly happy today. I am pleased how things came out. Next week we will shoot a few more girls. This is the fun stuff. I also enjoy chatting with the girls because I don't do that as much any more.
I was a bit insulted last night because we were doing some ad shots with the girls and there was one shot that was of the backs of the girls' ( no faces) well Lee did not ask me to cooperate in this shot. I am not 23 anymore but I certainly can be in a picture with my face turned. So I started saying to Lee I know I am a little chubby right now, some might say chunky but I could of been in that picture. Chantel chimes in " not chunky, Thick" Why thank you Chantel. In honesty I am only about 5 lbs up but those 5 lbs go straight to my thighs and butt!! ' You know Lee some men like that. I am officially insulted.
Very Sad that Ed Bardley died.
On a good note I am very happy to be an american today.

Lee is in town this week. Last night Jackson hid fake rats under the covers of Lee's bed. I love my son. He is so funny. Jackson gave Lee the tour of our house. He referred to my office as "the snack room". My son truly has no idea I work. He stores his halloween candy in my office and he set up his magnetic dart board in there as well. I love that he is happy. Today we are doing a photoshoot at the New Orleans bar. We have a few girls from other bars here. They are so pretty and funny. I enjoy listening to the banter outside the bar.
Except San antonio and austin most of the bars" numbers sucked last night. Painful.
Back to work!

I just read something that made my blood boil. An opponent of abortion, Kline ( pretty sure that is his last name), was able to get the records of abortion patients claiming that he was trying to find crimes such as rape through the patients history. The story is more complex then that ( it also involves Bill O reilly) but I am disgusted that confidential records would be released. Sometimes I read the paper and I feel like this country is moving backwards. I feel like women's rights are in jeopardy. I feel like it's ridiculous for having issues with Gay marriage. I just deleted a long winded political and religious opinion I had written because there is no place in this business for politics, so I will end this topic with two sentiments " Mind your own business" and " stop judging others".
( what a violation having your records released. just plain unamerican)
The New Orleans bar had a bar clean today. It was nice to see all the girls in one room. Gabe is taking over as the New Orleans GM. Good Luck to him. So we had an impromptu employee meeting and we spoke about trying harder to promote your shifts etc. I feel a bit frustrated because I personal have done a lot to promote the New Orleasns bar. For god sake I begged CMT to base the last tv show around it's reopening after Katrina. I just want the girls to be more cognicent of flyering and praising the bar to people they meet. Other then that I am proud that so many showed up today. It's nice to see how much they love each other.

Of course. It is a beautiful day, crisp cool air in New Orleans. I am in a great mood. I took cheeto to the park and I feel on top of the world. Then reality hits, a call from Chantel. Lil someone showed up at the bar trying to serve you papers. Serving papers is never a good thing. It's always a lawsuit of some kind. I wasn't at the bar so they could not serve me but they'll get me soon. People can be deplorable. They see the Coyote Ugly name and they see dollar signs. One girl tried to sue me once claiming that she slipped in the hallway of the NY bar on Thanksgiving night, 7 years previous. I happened to be the bartender on duty that night and noone fell. There was no incident at all. Fucking con artists. It makes me sick. Even if you win the lawsuit you still have to pay the fucking lawyers. I had a lawsuit I won where the company was going to pay my legal fees. Well they would only pay equivalent to $170 an hour but the lawyer was $225 an hour. Unfucking believable. I just got a bill from my divorce lawyer for $3,000. I haven't talk to this man in over a year. What the hell is he charging me for? ( Been divorced for 4 years) Ay caramba.
Back to work

Kevin started dating this particular girl close to 3 years ago. They are still together and happy. Her name is Maria and she is Chilean. In the 3 years they have been together Kevin has taken on a few new interests. First, the latin culture. He now speaks about different latin foods, wines, etc as if he is latin himself. He also has a new love for dogs. Last year if you spoke about the love you had for your wonderful pet Fido, he would respond " it annoys me when people humanize these pets. It's your freaking dog not a kid." Well of course, with Maria guiding the way he now loves dogs. In fact they just got a new old english bulldog puppy. The long and the short of it is, that I joke with him all the time about him taking on the personality of his latin girlfriend and what would happen if he dated someone of a completely different ethnicity? Well yesterday he was not on site in Miami because his dog ate glass and he had to bring him to the vet. Today I said to him, " if you start dating a korean girlfriend the only dog issues you'd have would be what temperature to cook him at and what wine to serve with him." His response was " that is so completely offensive, but I love it!"
I am not saying anything against the Korean community, please don't be offended. I'm colombian I heard jokes all my life about drugs and coffee. " hey you related to Juan valdez?" My brother in law even says that my sister and I have colombian thick legs because it makes it easier to pick coffee.
Today was bonus day for the managers. I received a very nice letter from Judith today and I was thinking where did this come from? Then I remembered BONUS DAY. Everyone loves me on bonus day.

I have always taught Jackson to respect animals. In fact I don't let him kill flies or mosquitos. But I have rats in my house and I can not coexist with rats. I am sorry to the powers above. I am a weak person . I have had a gun pointed directly at my face and I did not flinch but if a mouse or a rat come near me I am paralyzed with fear. The man from Terminix is here now and he said ( with a cajun accent) " Girl I am going to get them they won't get us" I feel like I am living the movie " Caddy shack". Sorry Peta. I just can't have them in my house. I think this fear comes from living with mice in a NY apartment. I lived in an apartment on 9th St. between 1st and Ave A for 5 years. I always had mice no matter what the landlord did. I used to be so afraid because I could hear them in the walls. They would run on my floors. My dogs were even freaked out by them. I would have the most vidid dreams about them and I know it was because I could hear them in the walls while I was sleeping. I HATE THEM. I HATE THEM

Ft Lauderdale with a kickass night!! Austin and San Antonio nice as well. I was surprised that some of the bars did not do better. Halloween in NY was always a crap shoot. People would go to the parade or parties and then come to the bar . And then if the bar is really busy on halloween , the night before and after are slow so it's a draw.
I am in a candy coma today. God damn snickers bars. Jacob made my house look great for Halloween. He had dried ice for fog. He had a ghoul hanging from the second floor. Creepy eyes hidden in the bushes. The electric chair with a man frying in it. He even had a soundtrack playing of a man getting electrocuted. Unfortunately my new house is on a very quiet street and very few people walked by. Next year I'll have to make a sign so people come to my house.
I can't wait to see the pictures of Tara in New Orleans. Supposedly last night she came as a " brick house". Very interesting
Jackson made out like a bandit. He will have candy for the next 6 months. Unfortunately I need to tell him to hide it from me.