8 bars Kevin and I have done together . Everyone knows he is either color blind or simply has bad taste in colors. Now our 8th bar he has done it again. ( mustard yellow/brown) In his defense the brick that encompases 95 % of the main room is mustard color. It is not quite brick more of a porcelein tile so it is unrealistic to change the color. So ok we are stuck with the color. But Joe went and painted the walls that weren't tile, mustard. So now every inch of wall space is mustard with execption to a brown trim that is part of the tile. That is not the worst part. Kevin compounded the problem by staining the bartop cherry. So the cherry color does not match anything. And that's the top of the bar. For some reason unknown to anyone he purchased wood for the base of the bar in a raw color that has been pretreated so it doesn't match the top of the bar, hence also not matching anything in the room. It is god awful. Kevin, exactly as he has done in the past, looks completely hurt and upset when I tell him he needs to change the colors. Good grief!!

I am laughing so hard. I woman wrote me from KC. She told me that a local church had there congregation sign a petition against us claiming that we would create " too much temptation". I can't stop laughing about this. The best thing I've seen to date is a cartoon that was in a KC paper. The cartoon illustrated these men ( on local commission) talking about how they will not let us open in KC. After their meeting they all decide to go down to the local Hooters to relax. Pretty funny. I would of paid good money to be sitting in that church while the priest gave a sermon about the evils of Coyote Ugly. LOL So funny
Today was a great day and it's only 9:30. My son lost his first tooth. He was so excited and we just had the best morning ever. I cheated a bit . I am going to Memphis today and I didn't want to miss the tooth fairy. So I took him out for breakfast and told him to leave the tooth under his pillow and we would see if the tooth fairy was still making her rounds. Well she was so he was so excited to get money from the tooth fairy. I love that little boy so much. He is so precious.
Yesterday I woke up and I could barely move. My back hurt so badly. I went to a chiropractor yesterday and I am hoping for some miracle. Today I feel a bit better but I am not looking forward to the 6 hour drive to Memphis. Jacqui told me that Kristi ( NY bartender) threw out her back sneezing. " I feel your pain, Kristi". That's all I got.

I can't even discus the shit that has already happened today. Ridiculous.
Charlotte check average of $43, I am very pleased!!! Ft. Lauderdale having an incredible week.
I am sorry that I can not write back to everyone who writes me. To be perfectly frank, most e-mails say the same thing " I live in ... and we really need you to open a Coyote Here." I have decided not to write back to these letters because I am working as fast as I can and I have asked on multiple occassion not to write me with this. I know that everyone loves their home town but I can only move so fast and not every town is appropriate for one of my bars. So I am sorry if I don't respond there are just too many letters.
I read todays local New Orlean's paper and I am concerned that 3 pumping stations burned out yesteday with only an inch and a half of rain. We are about to hit hurricane season and that definitely concerns me. I am also irate that we live in the most powerful country in the world and the country doesn't have enough money to help resolve the situation after Katrina. What a mess.

Again with the merch issues. Well this morning I decided to take a different route with Lee and write him a poem:
Dear Lee,
You are insane
no one can doubt
the merch that you guard
is always out

You are fragile
like a piece of glass
when ever I say boo
you cry like an ass

get over it son
for you are very edgy
to not admit your faults
in wake of this merch catastrophy

Not a very good ending but I only slept 2 hours last night. Lee wrote me an incredible response. I laughed so hard when I got it. Even though he's a pain in he butt. He is so funny and smart so I have to post this.
Dear Lil,

You call me insane, but whats in a name?
You can call me a fool or a tool.
I am actually quite bright, and a ladies delight.
Careful, Lil, don’t slip in your drool!

As far as the merchandise, you really aren’t that nice.
You expect things to come way too soon.
You yell and you scream, you're really quite mean.
And you treat me like some kind of goon.

But that’s ok, I can take it, my resolve, you cant fake it,
I seem to be chiseled from stone.
I get 3 mens work done, so go have some fun
While I work away all on my own.

Its me you should thank, over $2 million in the bank
From my merch sales we made all last year.
Put me down if you must, put my face in the dust.
Cuase I can tell that you get quite the thrill

But for you, I have love and undying respect
A statue of you, I would erect.
Your humor, your smile, and your boots of crocodile
are all part of your charm and wit.


So in finishing this response, to your poem of hurt
I blow you a kiss, from my face in the dirt
Though I may anger you, and make you think I'm an ass
You remind me of school on Sunday, cause you've got NO CLASS.

Muah. Lol...
Lee
Dear Lee,

With sugar and spice
and everything nice
Some merch we all need
For the web site I plead
So rush it you must
I have faith in you and trust
Love you my friend
You'll kill me in the end
Lil

I have a sneeking suspicion that we will have a whole new wave of infringers. I already received a letter today about a Coyote that just opened that was not mine. Good grief!!
Ft. Lauderdale kicking butt last night. I am so so proud of Adrianna. We fired Cory and she has really stepped up and taken charge of that bar. I'm trying to arrange having the calendar shoot down in Lauderdale so I can spend some time there. May 4th big take over party in Charlotte!! I got a text from Jeff M. about how the managers have really bonded in Charlotte. If I was to make a guess I would say that this bonding session happened over a few beers and Jeff got all misty eyed. He is so sensitive. ( oh no, I'll probably get a letter from his sister about making him cry.)
Last night I had two dreams. The first dream involved Mitch Landrieu, the New Orleans mayoral candidate . His brother happens to be my lawyer in New Orleans and I had a dream that I went to a fund raiser for him. ( I can't lie I am obsessed with this election) The second dream is unclear but I woke up thinking that I needed to get Daniel ( AM Austin) a belated birthday present. The one constant in both dreams was a song I asked Jacqui to choreograph. I have played it so many times it just plays in the back of my mind. Jacqui sent me a letter this morning saying. " I have listened to that song for 10 fucking hours". If we can shorten it a bit , it will be great!!
That's all folks!!!

All I did was roll over to hug Jackson and I pulled something in my back. That's all it takes. Should be closing on Charlotte either today or tomorrow. How exciting. Good weekend at the New Orleans bar. Nice change of pace. Every one of my bars did well last night. Even Austin with Gabe as manager!!! Wendy from Austin is on Maxim on line. Go vote for her. I think it's listed as Home town Hotties.
Jacqui and I were talking about the hate mail we have been getting. ( we've been getting nice letters too) But it is so interesting that people actually watch the show and then go to the website specifically to find an e-mail address so they can write a nasty letter. I , myself, have only watched the first show. One week ago I asked the producer to tell me the ratings . Well obviously I am not that important, I can't get anyone to respond. It's the little things that bring your feet back to the ground. My son watched 2 minutes of the show and said " can you change it to something better?" On the flip side, I have been getting very nice e-mails as well. I'm glad people find it entertaining.
That's all I've got for now.

Big Run off between Nagin and Landrieu. Very exciting. I am actually shocked that Nagin got so many votes. I will make sure I am here to vote.
Just read through the managers logs. It seems that two girls in Ft. Lauderdale have been bickering. I do not ask everyone to like each other but what I do ask is that if you go to work that you act professionally no matter who else is working. I heard one girl said to another " I'm going to kick you in the teeth" Something along these lines. This is why I never refer to these girls as women. Act like grown women, ladies. High school girls don't even act so imaturely. The two girls should be embarrassed at how they are acting.
Went to the New Orleans bar yesterday. The noteriety with this TV show definitely ruins my mood there. I know I should be thankful. I was actually peeing in the bathroom and some woman stood right in back of the stall door " Is it really you? Your really Lil?" Then some guy was telling me how he owned bars in Illionios and screwed all the girls who worked for him. " Hey Lil can I franchise? " What an idiot. On another note the girls looked great . Nice to see the bar busy.

Yesterday something bad happened in Denver. I'm still upset over it.
I just went to vote in New Orleans. A lot of people don't vote but I feel proud to have that power. This is a very important election. The city is in shambles and I hope that the election precess helps to guide the city back to health.
French Quarter fest today. Off to open the bar.

A lot of work ahead. I hope I do not jinx anything by writing this. God knows I have held my tongue for months about this but I feel we are in a safe window to announce it. Next week I am purchasing the Charlotte bar from the licensees and taking over operations there. I am very excited about this. I have sent some of my corporate people there and I can't tell you how much they love the staff there. We are very excited to be taking over that bar as part of corporate, very excited!! (Next week is the closing, I hope I didn't jinx it) I plan to have a reopening party on May 4th. ( we will be open every day until then but I wanted to have a special party). Really happy about this!!!
I just hired a new GM for Memphis. I think she will make a great addition to our team. Memphis is 6 hours away. I'm actually going to drive there. I am so sick of flying. Things have changed in New Orleans , many of the flights pre Katrina were direct now they are not. A trip that would take me 1 1/2 hours now takes me 4. I might as well drive and listen to audioCDs.
Jackson and I just rented the Roman polanski version of Oliver Twist. Needless to say there was no singing like the version I remember. At the end, the bad guy actually hangs himself. Well let's just say that in my memory the ending had a great beautiful song ( bare with me it's been a million years) " who will buy this wonderful feeling? I'm so high I think I could fly. Me oh my I don't want to lose it. " I think those are the words. I can hear the tune in my head. My son won't remember catchy movie songs like I do. He'll remember beatings and hangings instead. Unfortunately, I made a bad judgement call on that one. I have never read the book but I have been told that the Polanski version is actually closer to the book. Interesting how a man charged with sexual assault of a minor directed a movie about children.
That's all I got.

It seems that a reader of the Lil spill has some advice about lifting the curse off of gabe:

Comments: Hi Lil, Tell the new guy in Austin to go see a curandera.Thats
roughly like a voodoo practitioner or folk healer. There should be some in
Austin. There are alot of them in San Antonio. They do a type of curse
lifting involving passing an egg over the body while praying and then
breaking the egg to lift a curse. See, Coyote Ugly patrons know lots of
weird things.

Let's see if he's game? May not do anything but it couldn't hurt. And would be pretty funny as well. Today , I received an apology letter from a person who had written me this week about kicking Amie off the show. NOONE EVER WRITES AN APOLOGY! Wow, I'm going to play lotto tonight.
Having a god awful time finding hotels in memphis for the opening. What a busy month coming up! Ft. Lauderdale, I may pop in this weekend!

I have spent the last half an hour reading hate mail from the show. People are upset that I did not pick Amie because of her weight. Amie was unbelievably talented and if this was a girl search for one of the bars she would of definitely made it. But it's not. I'm sorry but appearance is an important part of the package for the girl who wins " Ultimate Coyote" Go into any of my bars and you will see girls of all shapes and sizes but this is for $25,000 and the title of Ultimate Coyote.
Back to work!!

I was just reading the news this morning and it is very sad. Everyday there seem to be the same subjects. There was an article about fast food french fries having more trans fat. This infuriates me! Why are they spending millions of dollars to do these tests on french fries? We've known for the last 30 years that french fries from fast food chains are not healthy for us. But people still eat them. People still raise their kids eating them . And american people are getting fatter ever year. Other stories in the news. A man is charged for letting his girlfriend's children drown. I don't understand this? Why is it easier to drown the kids then give them up for adoption? Supposedly the mother was involved as well. The man charged was a police officer. I don't get it. There are other solutions. Why? And then of course " white house defends Bush's actions" Isn't he part of the "White House"? Why is this newsworthy? Is the " white house" which essentially means " himself and his republican cronies, not going to defend his actions? What a load of crap! I won't even get into this discussion.
All the bars last night did realitvely ok, except for Austin. We hired a new AM, Gabe, in Austin. I think he is jinxing the bar. I"m not sure how you go about unjinxing someone but I was told by a " bonereader" once that you are to soak in a bath of Salt water ( whole unused bottle). You get every part of you. You drain the tub and you rinse yourself and clean the tub completely of the salt. When that is finished you walk backwards out of the tub and dry your self. Perhaps I will suggest this to Gabe. ( by the way the bone reader was sitting in Jackson Square ( New Orleans). I don't know if it's true but it certainly can't hurt.) Back to work.

Back to the Merch debacle. It seems that we only have 3 colors of merchendise. Black, white, and red. Is it too much to ask to have pink, green, yellow. It's almost summer. I love bright colors. " Lee purple is my favorite color, common on!"
A lot of people writting in asking why we did not let our own Coyotes compete in the tv show. I actually wanted that but I was vetoed. I think they wanted more of a process . Taking someone who has never been a Coyote and transforming them. So far I've heard only positives about the show except from my neice. " Why are you so mean?" " I wish people knew that you were nice." Of course my sister told me this. I said I watched the show, I don't think I was too mean. My niece also did not like the amount of cleavage I was showing. It's interesting watching yourself on tv. I try to turn off the part of myself that wants to critique every physical aspect of yourself. On that note I will say only one thing " I hate my hair so fucking straight!!!They made me straighten it for almost every show and I hate the way I look." But the business side of me thinks the show was done well and it's entertaining. I thought Jacqui, Cyndi, and chantel looked awesome. 1 show down 7 to go.
This KC thing is really heating up. Someone actually sent me a cartoon about it. Interesting stuff.

Lee and Kevin are in town. Lee and I went rollerblading today, we did 7 miles. He is really good. I think he was in a semi pro hockey leaque growing up. As I was struggling on the blades he was going backwards, doing tricks. I'm proud of the 7 miles!! Today I show up at the corporate office. On my desk is a frame I bought and Lee put a picture of himself in it. He's a pain in the ass, but very funny. Today we have a lot of work to do.

Tomorrow is the big Fete ( fair ) for my son's school. I went to school early to deliver beer for the fair. I decided to sit in on the last half hour of class. I am so proud. My son was speaking in full french sentences. I had been told earlier in the year that he was unwilling to speak in french Well I was so pleased when i heard him speaking so well. So proud!!!
A lot going on today.
As I'm writing this i am reading about the hurricanes hitting nashville. I am very concerned. Just spoke to Kyle as of right now everything is ok. I hope everyone is safe

They postponed the segment to next Thursday. The woman called me and said that there was breaking news that they needed to devote more time to. My response " Coyote Ugly isn't breaking news?" LOL This could be a good thing or perhaps something sinister.

I am going to be on a program called Scarborough Country, airing on MSNBC tonight, LIVE! Joe Scarborough was a republican senator, he now has his own news program on MSNBC. The debate is over the Kansas City decision to deny my liquor license. I wasn't nervous until I received 5 e-mails from Lee on how conservative this guy is. I also received a call about how I appear very jittery when I drink coffee. Unfortunately that call came after my second cup. Urgh, I am having a flashback of being on CNN and my ear piece falling out. That was a show debating whether the movie " Coyote Ugly" should be rated PG or not. After the ear piece debacle I think I pulled it together and spoke with knowledge and authority. At least that's what I told myself.

Even after all these years the infringers still piss me off. Lee sent me an article he found from a newspaper. This particular article was about a family buying a building in a specific town. In the article this man claims that he and his family own and operate Coyote Ugly. I sent the article to my trademark attorneys. So upsetting!!
Big news in KC today. It seems we made the paper. The owners of the entertainment center that we were slotted to open up in has filed suit against the commision that deniied our liquor license. I still laugh when I see in print that these people are saying that Coyote Ugly is " soft porn" . I have women who worked for me from all walks of life. Some are actresses, some are singers. We have students and teachers. We have employed artists, aspiring lawyers, doctors. We employ mothers and plain old great bartenders. These women are bartenders. There is nothing even remotely close to " soft Porn" at Coyote Ugly. As I have said in the past "these people obviously don't get out much."

Parenting is a hard job!!! Before you have kids, you have these ideas and expectations about your child. Then you have the child and what you find out is that their personalities may not respond well to the ideas and plans you had. I can say without hesitation that my son is the kindest, happiest child I have ever met. Even when he gets hurt he rarely cries. If another child is mean or cruel he shrugs it off. The other day he was playing after school and he and his friend were playing a pretty intense game of dodgeball. They actually stand infront of a wall and the person with the ball has to try and hit them with the ball. Pretty intense because when you get hit , you also fall back and hit the wall. I stood off to the back because the kids were all playing well. A few minutes into the game the older kids came over grabbed the ball and started throwing really hard at the little kids on the wall. One kid started crying. I then got involved and told the older kids to back off. Afterwards Jackson came up to me and said that the older kids didn't bother him. I told him that mommy wasn't always going to be around . He has a choice if he chooses to play with the big kids then he has to act like a big kid. Big kids , or bullies, like to bother the kids whom they know they can effect. ( make cry) So I said if you play that game again and you are willing to play with the big kids then when you get hit , don't cry! Once you cry they will always bother you. If you don't let it bother you, they will move on and pick on someone else. Perhaps not an orthadoxed method of parenting but a lesson in life.
As far as schooling goes, let's just say that Jackson's interests are purely social. URGH! Again you have ideas and expectations about your child and those go right out the window when their personalities do not compliment these ideas. Very frustrating!!!

I spoke to soon we need to change the dates for the Memphis girl search. I think it will be the weekend before. Lee is making sure we can get everything together in time. The original weekend we picked happens to be a huge music festivle on Beale St. ( where bar is located) and it will be too hectic to conduct a proper girl search. What a day today has been. We are organizing an assistant managers seminar. That date has changed 3 times because of festivals, vacations etc. My phone has been ringing off the hook.
." Don't worry mom, if I don't do my homework they'll put me in timeout for a while. I can deal with that." " Jackson, everyone needs to learn how to read." " Why? you can just read it to me." I could go on but my frustration is mounting.
Never in a million years would I ever home school. Today I chaperoned a school trip. The boys talk about pee, poo and farts. My son said he was like the farting phoenix. His friend said that he would fart flames and burn everything in site. Now the girls are different. They were pretending to be pregnant. Man the girls are whiney. I'll take conversations of farts any day over whining and crying. I told Jackson "can you at least learn to say this stuff in french?"

Memphis opening May 17th!! Girl search on May 6th and 7th. I wish we could get opened by the beginning of the month but it is just cutting it too close. I haven't even seen the Memphis site yet. I hear it is going to be really nice.
This is going to be a busy few months.
My son came home on Friday and told me that he hurt his leg playing. This was how he told me, " mom, I have a crap leg after falling." So of course all weekend, I would say " How's your crappy leg?" " Really crappy mom" As the saying goes " the sins of the father" in his case " mother" . I will tolerate crap and freaking from him. I know he is learning that from me. I am so thankful that he has never said shit or fuck. God knows I let those words slip sometimes.
Really need a few more bartenders in New Orleans. Come one in and apply.