So I am at my accountant's office today. After we spoke about the weighty subjects we started shooting the shit, so to speak. I was telling her that Kevin needed a translator for his work in Mexico. I told her that I may ask my sister because she is fluent in spanish. I told her that my sister has experience translating because she translates for the spanish speaking countries during " The Special olympics" and she also goes to Guatemala every year to help as a translator when her Presbyterian church ( she converted) helps to build churches. Mary, my accountant started roaring laughing, " YOU RUN COYOTE UGLIES WHILE YOUR SISTER BUILDS CHURCHES AND HELPS THE HANDICAPPED!"
I never actually thought of it that way. OK in my defense she didn't start these charitable acts until a few years ago. Fine, now I will go and volunteer for some fucking charity. ( I do give money to a lot of charities if that makes a difference.) Some people are just born good and some people have to work at it. I'll have to work a little harder.

I'm starting to get the entries for the first Coyote Ugly Calendar. There are some very pretty girls working at these bars. It's going to be very difficult to come down to twelve. I know the calendar needs to be pictures of our hot girls ( hot girls sell things, I live by that motto). But I thought it would be a cool idea to put some substance into it. I thought the twelve months could signify the ascending history of women in the bar industry. I figured the girls could still look hot but the calendar could also tell a story. Well Lee has shot the idea down every time. I know that people just want to see hot woman but why can't we give them both pictures and historical content?
Denver and Nashville send in your pictures!!!
How am I going to get Jacqui and I in this calendar?

What a week. New Orleans has been so slow the last few days. I think the Denver girls are jinxing us. ( as long as they don't jinx denver, it's alright). So much petty crap going on. I got a letter from one of the girls from one of my bars. The gist of the letter ,in the words of Cuba Gooding from the movie "Jerry Maquire", : " why isn't anyone showing me love" " Show me the money". Blah, Blah, Blah. This girl happens to be a very strong performer. But she doesn't seem to get the idea of being a team player . She is also lacking in the kind of patience it takes to excell with the company. Almost all issues with the girls are resolved when they try harder or communicate better. I responded to this letter by saying " yes you are very good. But everyone is replaceable." I called that particular girl's manager and said feel free to fire her if she keeps up with this bullshit and if I receive another letter, I'll fire her myself.
I wish people wouldn't keep writting me with " please open in my town". I get thousands of e-mails and it becomes overwhelming when all the e-mails are essentially the same. My standard response is : "I'm working as fast as I can."
Definitely not a good day for me. I have been on the phone all day and I'm cranky.

Yesterday mellissa brought up her discontent at the fact that new girls applying to already open bars , don't have to do such extensive training like the original Coyotes for each store. I told her that's just the way it is. The bars are already open. There is no space and time to have 1 new girl train for 10 days 10 hours a day while the bar is already open for business. I understand that the original Coyotes in each location go through a grueling training series. But the bars move forward and they need new employees. The only sentiment I can relay to the original Coyotes is this: " You guys were involved in an experience that may have changed your life. You get to watch the opening of one of the bars and be part of opening night with all the press and hoopla. The girls who start after the bars are open will never know how it feels to be part of something so special. But they are part of our company and even though they didn't start from the beginning, they can be a huge part of the character and success of the bars."

My Horoscope:
"Your usual level head and cool façade will be challenged today. Relax Libra. Falling off the fence you're perched on is no big deal. You'll fall into a whirlpool of emotions that other people have created. As long as you're a good swimmer, you'll be fine. If not, invest in a life jacket.

In a Nutshell: Laugh in the face of adversity and you'll move forward with ease. There's no point in fighting destiny Libra, particularly if you're losing!"

Everyday my cool facade is challenged so I'm not scared.
Kevin flew from Mexico City to Miami. I think we can open Ft. lauderdale in the next 4 - 5 months. Just got in San Antonios numbers. They are kicking some butt! Kelly runs that bar on a dime that's what I love about her. She wrote Lee and I a letter about not wanting anymore new merchendise due to a shortage of storage space. She said she can't stop thinking about how to reorganize the merch area, even when she goes home. OCD. I have really grown to appreciate people with OCD, they are very organized.
Going to the New Orleans bar today and see Ghetto and Mellissa from Denver. That's it.

I just hooked up my i-site computer video cam so I can start video conferencing. It seemed like a good idea at first. Now I realize I am going to have to put on make up for a fucking conference call. I usually don't shower until afternoon because I'm on the computer or the phone all day. Damn!
Kevin is in Mexico city right now. The last time he was in Mexico, on business, he was told about the high kidnapping rate in Mexico City. Well for the last week all I've heard from him is " Lil will you pay the ransom if I get abducted?" ( matters how much). Jeff W. was supposed to meet him there but after he departed his first flight and walked to the connecting flight, he realized that he had lost his passport. Hence, he could not go. Well that left poor Kevin in Mexico all alone to tend to business. I laughed so hard yesterday when Jeff called me because I could only imagine kevin fearing for his life in Mexico City. To my surprise I recieved a really upbeat e-mail from kevin saying that he has had great meetings and is having a wonderful time. I don't know if I should attribute this change to him confronting his fears and moving past them or maybe nobody wanted to kidnap him? Regardless, I'm very pleased with his progress in Mexico.
Lee is in toronto right now. I just read his lastest update on his scouting mission and he mentioned that he is a judge tomorrow night at a flair bartending competition. I give Lee credit. He can go to foreign cities and make contacts and friends within the day.
Congrats to Kaui from Denver!!! She made it on the show " Making the band" !! We're all routing for you.

People seem to be a bit confused. Ft. Lauderdale is a different site from Coco Walk. I have a feeling Ft. Lauderdale will open up before Cocowalk, there is a lot less construction on that site. I will keep everyone posted.
Chantel just gave me a letter that was mailed to the bar for me. This letter is from Marquette High School in Ottawa , Illinois. Well hello Marquette students. The letter is from Sharon. She says she is on the supprt staff at the High School. I have no idea what that means but I have a feeling it is not from a staff member because of all the typos and misspellings. Well if you read my blog you should know that accurate spelling is not a measure of success. ( Even though I am thoroughly embarrassed with my poor spelling and grammer).
Today was another busy day. GIRLS WANTED IN NEW ORLEANS PRONTO. We just had a few girls move and now we are short about 4 girls. We actually have Mellissa and Ghetto coming in from Denver to help out for a week. One of the New Orleans girls was so cute today. She was going on a first date and she was worried about whether the guy would pay or not. Chantel and I told her " do not go for the check. Be cool and let him take care of it." It was a very endearing moment.
Mike from Denver called me today and he said that he is trying very hard to spread his time evenly with home and work but work was winning. I told him to that it will get better when the bar is more acclaimated to his style. Family first, Always!

What a day today. Jackson was under the weather and I had a million calls and e-mails. I'm crossing my fingers Jeff and Kevin are heading to Cancun to try and work on this project. There is a Baptist convention in New Orleans. I wish the convention was over( not that I have anything against Baptists) but th convention is really hurting business. Denver back in the game this week. Last night Lee was scouting a specific bar that we heard was for sale. The bar happened to be a gay bar. I was laughing so hard when he called and told me he was a little nervous about spending the night there himself. I said " Maybe you'll get lucky!" He wasn't amused by my comment. It must be so demanding being a man and having to expend so much energy proving how manly you are. ( not just Lee but I'm talking about most men)
What was quite interesting is that he also went to a bar that had a mechanical bull. He said that this girl went on the bull , took her bra off and rode the bull topless. Now he is not in America right now. My god, in the states the liquor authorities would be all over you if you let someone do that.
Signed in Ft. Lauderdale today!!!! Yahoo

Jenn Hawk from SA sent me something very funny. After reading this I take back everything I have said or thought about southerners.

"I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still, which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw, which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone
layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during this shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the interstate highway to breed a country and western singer?

I betcha thought that test was gonna be an easy one, didn't you? It's okay if you didn't do all that well. Just goes to show you... There's a hole heap of things that big city book learning don't prepare you for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE" here's some Southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece... Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with 'em."

___________________________________________

Denver has had a very crappy week, I'm definitely upset over it. I'm in Vancouver still and the weather is always overcast. Now the temperature is great at 65. I couldn't belive that Denver was at 90 degrees yesterday. The Denver staff seems to be taking a few liberties that I do not like I'm going to have to speak with Mike. Pretty calm night last night.

I'm in Vancouver right now. Perhaps Coyote Ugly will finally get opened up here. Very clean city, I can't quite peg describing it. Smaller then San Francisco but bigger then New Orleans.A lot of buildings that are designed with floor to ceiling windows and glass. Not modern looking but very clear and open. It reminds me of another city but I can't place which one it is. The weather is about 67 degrees. What a relief leaving New Orleans where it is 100 degrees with 99% humidity.
I want to bitch about the Coca Cola company. In all my bars we have the soda guns. In every one of the bars Coca Cola sets up the guns differently. In Nashville there are 2 G's on the gun, neither of them referring to Ginger Ale. I think Q ia Diet Coke in Nashville. Q should always be tonic water because it stands for Quinine. In New Orleans I think the T is Diet Coke and in NY the juices are all backwards. It just pisses me off that such a big company can not take the time to properly install the guns so they are easy to use. When I go to these bars I usually end up bartending a bit. It's embarrassing having to test all the buttons to find the soda that is appropriate for the drink I'm making. Just venting.

Saturday was unbelievably busy in Nashville. The girls definitely stepped it up a notch. I'm very proud of the whole staff for putting their hearts and souls into the Coyote this week. It's such a nice feeling to know how many people love that bar. Kevin Bailey came up Saturday night. I asked him to help Jeff Myers out Sunday morning. When I saw him next he told me an amusing story. He said that he and Jeff M. were in the office recounting the awesome week the bar had. During that time two security guards came in to talk about some bullshit argument they were having. Kevin said he laughed so hard because jeff said to them " I'm coming off of the best week I have ever had in my life in the bar business. Don't fuck up my moment with this petty bullshit!" Then he shoed them out of the office. Kevin said it was a classic moment and jeff didn't stop smiling for a second. Omar our chef worked his butt off as well. He deserves a lot of credit. If he could only make the wings like I have told him to he would be perfect. He fights me on it but I will put my wings up against his any day. Regardless, he is a great asset to that bar. Meeting Marshall tonight at the New Orleans bar. Should be fun.

I'm in Nashville. It's been sick busy during fanfare. We have girls out at a booth in the convention center. We have girls at a booth at the "fun zone" with the nascar. And obviously the bar is open for business. The girls are all doing doubles everyday.
Last night we booked the dining room for a party for the cast of "Days of our Lives" . I grew up watching that show. I haven't seen it for years but I was so excited that the characters " Jack" and "Jennifer" were here. My god I remember them on the show 20 years ago. Well Danielle comes up to me and says that they really wanted to meet me. " You are fucking kidding me!" "Jack" and "Jennifer" want to meet me? Bullshit. Well low and behold they knew who I was and we chatted for a while. The women from the show had a great time. "Billie" was dancing up a storm on the bar. They were enamored by one of the new girls, Jennifer, who plays the fiddle. ( She plays so well she can do both parts of " Devil") It's pretty impressive.
My impressions with the Nashville crew. There are so many great girls here but to be perfectly frank they are just missing that killer instinct. So many natural talents; bartenders, singers, dancers, yoddlers, cloggers. I couldn't ask for more talent in one group. But when you put it together they were't using all of this talent to make the extra sale. On the other side, again , they have all been working doubles this week, so I feel it's unfair to judge them too harshly. I found out this morning that Kyle bitched them out at the end of the shift for not trying harder. I'm really pissed off that he did that. You don't tell someone to do a better job when they have just put in 26 hours working in 2 days. So in defense of the Nashville girls, I will bitch him out today. If I could get these girls to be a little more cut throat, man they would be incredible!

A lot of shit went down in san Antonio yesterday, but everything is fine. I spoke to Kelly yesterday and it saddened me to hear that one of the girls I hired, no longer works there. She'll be missed.
Kaui, a Denver Coyote, has made it to the second round of " Making the band". Supposedly she has beaten out 7000 people so far. We wish her good luck!!!
Nashville kicking some butt this week!! I love that, makes me very happy.

Jeff Myers hasn't called me in a few days. Hmmm I wonder what he's up to, or afraid of telling me? Quote of the day " you know you're fat when even your sweatpants are tight!" I laughed very hard when I heard that. Things seem to be moving today. I have a few offers that I wasn't expecting. We were trademarked last week in Tunisia, I heard it is beautiful there. And Knock on wood, Mike seems to be fitting in quite nicely in Denver.
The manager's log from Denver last night was pretty gross, some guy actually went in his pants.
I received an e-mail today about the Austin bar. the first part of the letter was " Lil, I love the bar . The girls are great . I always have fun." Great I thought, well that was just a prelude for bashing the bathrooms. " Can you do something about the bathrooms?" OK god damn it! I splurged on the bathrooms in New Orleans because I know that people seem to destroy bathrooms in bars ( I hate that with a passion). I put in stainless steel walls, stalls sinks the works. They happen to be quite expensive. My New Orleans bathrooms have stayed pretty nice for 3 1/2 years. They do not have the vandalization that other bathrooms have. But for some reason Kevin B. will not budget them into the new bars. I know they are expensive but over time they pay for themselves. Austin will not be getting new stainless steel bathrooms but i promise to upgrade them. ( NY don't get any ideas, I already did that once).
I have been trying to relax a bit more. I have had 3 ideas of how to do this 1. learn how to play golf ( I've never played) 2. learn to play tennis ( I played a few times in high school and I sucked. This won't last long) 3. Try and go to more movies ( that aren't just for kids) So I have actually been trying to take a few hours off during the day and seeing movies. I saw l" Longest Yard" with Adam Sandler ( yes I kissed him in college, who knew?) and today I saw "Cinderella Man". They were both great. I have to say it is nice . It forces me to get away from the computer and the cell phone, even if it's just for 2 hours. ( Of course today while I was away my security alarm went off and the police came to my house) But it still made me less anxious for the rest of my workday. A happy worker is a better worker.

Austin had an unbelievable weekend with Rot Rally in town. The other bars did alright this weekend. I am very pleased that both Denver and San Antonio do so well during the weekdays. Last nights numbers were very good. Nashville is really building up their Sunday bike nights. Nashville is also going into fanfare week. Supposedly it is very busy. Let's see!
I sent Kevin to help during Rot Rally. He said he was a glorified barback for two days but he was excited to help. He told me that he seriously wanted to speak about Austin's bathrooms, oh no that means spending money redoing the men's room! His parting words to me yesterday, and it is a tribute to Daniel, " Lil, I think I have acid reflux". All I can say is Daniel seems to think he has acid reflux as well. Maybe we can start a Coyote Ugly support group for both of them. Of course if Daniel really has it, I am sorry and don't mean to mock your ailment. But I can't believe that Kevin all of a sudden has acid reflux.
The world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same. I'm glad that I have a bunch of characters working for me. It's nice to laugh while you're working.

I feel better, 3 miles on the track. Chantel said something so funny yesterday. She told me that Tara asked her if she was one of the managers, that I spoke about in the Lil Spill , that only reported positive notes to me. Chantel and I just started laughing because she is on the other side of the spectrum as far as the manager's logs. A normal e-mail from Chantel goes something like this; ... called in sick because she went out parting with her friends while she was on antidepressants. ... was doing great until she remembered that it was the 1 year anniversary of her ex-boyfriend dumping her..... 1 of ... fake boobs bursted while she was having sex so she can't come in....the bouncers have clogged up the toilet on the second floor because they all have to go #2 in the private bathroom.... Lil I would like to nominate Carlos, the porter, for Coyote of the month.

Pretty slow at the bars this week, except for Denver. Lee has been managing while Mike is training at the Texas bars. Lee's manager's logs have been quite complimentary about the Denver girls. I think he now has his favorite bar, Denver. It is funny how the managers go to the various other bars and say " well these girls are alright but my girls are the best." For the most part it is very endearing that the managers love their own bars but for training purposes I wish they could be a bit more objective.
3 nights in a row that I have only sleep a few hours. I'm not sure if it's stress but I am exhausted . Busy day today.