By Liliana Lovell,
Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

Read Lil's story here...

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    Lil Spills for March 2012

    Saturday, March 31, 2012

    Got home after 11pm yesterday. Slept 5 hours and woke up for the 10k run. That doubled the furthest I have ever run. It’s a whole different world with the 10k competitors and the 5 k competitors. In the 5 k races there are plenty of people who walk most of the way. It’s just a fun day out for them. In the 10k race everyone is a real runner. Even when you want to walk you feel stupid because everyone is running so you can’t walk. I am slow, real real slow. I am always at the back of the pack. But at mile 2 people started walking so I passed them by ( 5k people used the same path only we did it two times around instead of one). I was feeling good about myself after mile 3 because I was in the middle of the pack but the middle of the pack in a 5 k is the back of the pack in a 10k. When the 5 k people finished and i made the turn to continue i realized I was almost dead last for 10kers . Well, I ran the whole thing and finished so I feel very accomplished. ( my foot is killing me)
    That ended at 9:15am. Rushed home showered then off to Jackson’s school fair and he had to work a booth til 330. Now trying to find a passport photo shop. Cvs was not working and I now have twenty minutes to get this done!
    Jackson was in the front to middle of the pack until about 5 miles. He really slowed down after that but for a 12 year old he beat some men. Trey ended up passing Jackson after mile 5. Pretty good since Jackson was really far ahead.

    Friday, March 30, 2012

    Times when I cry: 1. On my birthday 2. 3x a year during my period 3. Sappy movies.
    I just got a call from my assistant . ” Lil the New Orleans bar never picked up the Coyote truck . There are about a million people directly across the st from the bar and there isn’t a beertub out or extra girls flyering” I am sitting at the Denver airport already feeling stupid for missing my flight now I feel so humiliated that my assistant is telling me that my bar sucks. I am sitting on my bag in the C terminal about to cry.

    Friday, March 30, 2012

    I am a fucking idiot! I am so freaking stupid they should put my picture next to stupid in the dictionary! Idiot! I sat at the wrong gate and missed my plane. If that’s not bad enough the correct gate was just across the hall ad I was so oblivious that I missed it! Fuck fuck fuck! Everything is booked out of Denver to New Orleans because of the final 4. Now I am booked to Dallas and on standby to New Orleans tonight. Jackson has a big party tonight! Tomorrow morning we are entered in our first 10k and his school fair is tomorrow. I couldn’t of picked a worse day to fuck up in such massive proportions! Damn it

    Friday, March 30, 2012

    Walked into the Denver anniversary party to see Tessa in the Jennifer Beales flash dance working out outfit. (nude tights, black underwear and a cut up shirt). Love Tessa to death but it’s sickening how good her body is. Full six pack. Legs and butt of a fitness model. I don’t think that I could go back to my 20s workout 6 hours a day and look that good. Genetically I am inferior as are 99% of all women to Tessa. Now look at the other end of the bar and see Crystal who is actually a fitness model. Wow.
    Party was good but I had to sneak out. Between Pinky and the old Coyotes buying shots , I knew I needed to escape before I lost anymore brain cells.

    Thursday, March 29, 2012

    “Lil can I go to dinner with you and Marsha” “No Kevin” “Why Lil” “because it’s girls night and you are unable to speak about anything other then the military and republican propaganda”
    I then sent him a text. IF we allow you to meet us , these are the allowed topics . 1. Shoes2. Bags 3. Wrinkles 4. Cellulite 5. The Voice 6. Home decor
    Topics you are not allowed to talk about
    1. Military 2. Fox news 3. Work 4. Military on fox news
    We didn’t invite him and he called me at midnight. ” did you know Daniel likes Santorum?” so he went out with Daniel and spoke all night about politics and the military. ” Kevin , maybe once in a while ask about other peoples interests. ” ( I couldn’t be more embarrassed that Daniel likes Santorum) ” dude you get paid by empowering women. Don’t you think there’s a conflict there?”
    Denver anniversary tonight!

    Tuesday, March 27, 2012

    Why do they apply for my Russian visa just a couple weeks before I go? This drives me nuts. The travel agent in charge of this says ” you need to be home to get this done” Guess what buddy, I am traveling! You screwed up and you need to rectify it! Really drives me insane. This will be my 4th time to Russia and every time I have traveled to Russia I have received my visa the same day Of travel. It’s so unnerving! Urgh

    Saturday, March 24, 2012

    Scene ( 74 degrees gorgeous New Orleans)
    Neighbor: ” Lil you enjoying the rich people’s weather”
    Me: ” yes and why exactly is it rich people’s weather?”
    Neighbor:” because if it was like this all the time we couldn’t afford to live here.”
    Me: ” good point “

    Friday, March 23, 2012

    It’s the small things in life. My son has a plantars wart on his foot. I know it’s sick but the joy of digging it out and freezing it was just heaven. Lol
    Shout out to the New Orleans bar! Go get um’ so nice that Milwaukee and New Orleans are hitting their stride right now

    Friday, March 23, 2012

    Funny someone I fired contacted Chantel recently. We just laughed. ” Did you respond by saying the bar is doing better then ever and yes I had to fly there to help fix your mess!”
    Lee’s wife is having a lot of contractions recently. The little peanut just needs to stay in that belly for two more weeks to be perfect! I told Lee I would fly there if he needed help. I know the feeling when you have no family close to help. Ok positive vibes for Dre, Lee and the little one.
    The bars are rocking. I love waking up and reading the manager’s logs. Hot damn.
    Leaving for Yekarinsburg ( sp) Russia on April 9th. Russia bar #4

    Thursday, March 22, 2012

    While on the elliptical machine I decided to read a short story called ” An Unexpected Twist.” hysterical. It’s a man’s tale of going through a series of colon operations. I burst out laughing at the gym when he speaks about his Ileostomy. This is when they hang part of your small intestine out of your body and attach it to a bag. Kindly referred to by the author as ” bag of shit” . The part I found so amusing is that a nurse came to him with a magazine called The Phoenix which is the GQ of people living life with their bags of shit. Everyone bbqing, laughing, picnicking. A whole happy community walking around with shit hanging out of their bodies. I know it’s gross but this story made my day. Nothing like the medicinal effects of laughter.

    Wednesday, March 21, 2012

    ” Bristol Palin wants Obama to call her.” Are you freaking kidding me. I guess she has forgotten that it was Obama who made sure the Democrats didn’t attack her and her family after she got knocked up at 17.
    Yesterday Trey (very conservative) called to tell me that he watched the Julianne Moore movie about Sarah Palin. The movie portrays Palin as an uneducated politician. Because he had liked her he then Youtubed the exact interviews and speeches that were shown in the movie. ” OMG Littlin’. The speeches were identical to the movie. She gave an interview to Katie Couric where she didn’t even know the difference between Iraq and Afganistan. She is an idiot!”

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