Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I have someone here today to help me with my office. It's like heaven. I was so embarrassed when she walked into my office. There are piles and piles of mail. I just can't keep up. Her first words to me were " I love doing this". Ok , I can't question that. What a wonderful day. My fear is that she is going to find unpaid bills from months ago and I am going to be in trouble.
Ok Kevin is off my shit list. He is in Ft. Lauderdale right now. THANK YOU
What a mess Denver is. The office is a complete wreck and the blame game has started. This is all I have to say, the former GM worked as an AM under one of my corporate officers for 2 months. Then I sent out my best back of the house person to train in quikbooks, and accounting. There was no lack of training. A lot going on there that I can't talk about. This is a very hard business. To Denver staff: We love you guys. Two year anniversary coming up. Chantel and Jeff have told me how good the staff is. So I am proud of you guys. Daniel, Jeff, and Chantel will make sure you guys are all right!!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

" Just bury Anna Nicole next to her son. She bought a plot right next to his. Doesn't that create intent by the deceased to be buried there?" What a fucking circus, yet I keep on watching. Although in my defense I have stopped watching and now just read the blurbs in the paper. Her mother didn't even care about her son Daniel. So sad. I feel for that litte girl, Dannilynne.
A very fiery day yesterday. Kevin is on the top of my shit list. " I asked you to email a progress report. Where is it?" " Well Lil I never got it." " Could it be that you care more about walking your two new dogs then actually communicating with your job?" I have a bunch of insane people working for me. Kevin is one of those people who gets a bit excited about something and then goes to extremes to get what he wants. He decided he wanted to start bicycling. So he buys a $3000 bicycle and gets involved in charity racing. This lasted for about 3 months now he never rides and that expensive bicycle just sits there. A few months ago he and his girlfriend wanted a dog. He researches the type of dog he wants , old english bulldog. He buys one for $1500. Then he is so in love with the dog that he buys another one for $1500. The funny part of this is that he was in Miami a lot so his girlfriend was caring for the first dog. He then bought the second dog not realizing how much day to day work just one dog is. Well both Lee and I warned him about having two puppies. But no he didn't listen. I also said to him " why don't you resue a dog from the pound? You can save one." No that's not good enough. Now these dogs are running his life and I barely hear from him. It might be me but why not save your money for something like a house instead of spending so much on other things? Regardless I am still waiting for my written report. At least he called to give me an update. He is going to Florida tomorrow to resolve a few issues " who's watching the dogs? " I have no doubt I will receive a call saying" the dogs ate my written report . Sorry Lil."

Monday, February 26, 2007

Ah the caribbean, so beautiful. Jackson and I had a great vacation. We snorkeled next to a baracuda. We explored the Baths on Virgin Gorda. We went to the caves of Noram Island. We simply had such a wonderful time.
Holy crap so much work to come home to. No idea what Lee and Kevin are doing. Nice to be them. My god some of these managers can't balance a check book. How the fuck do you get by in life without knowing how to manage a check book? Miami and Denver being on my shit list today. I asked Chantel today if Judith ever taught J hen how to do quickbooks? She said yes but I don't believe it. And the other manager is even worse. I know paperwork sucks but it has to get done. Take a half hour everyday and get it done. The bottom line is : use your assistant managers and head bartenders to help with floor managing and light accounting. It's all about relocating authority and time management. I also hate paperwork, so hand it off to the assistant managers and then check it. How fucking hard is that? These GM's don't rely on their AMs enough and then they tell me how much they are doing? " Well why aren't you having your head bartenders do some floor shifts?' " Well I was going to" Yeah right! " Why don't you have the ams handle some of the quikbooks work?" " Well Lil, I just haven't had time to do that" All I can say is horseshit!
Get your fucking work done. This is business!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Thank god it's over. It's been a long week. You'll have to stay tuned to the show to see what happens. March 30th.
Had a makeup artist put on eyelashes that stay for two weeks. What a mistake. My eyes were irritated for days and now I can't dissolve the glue that binds them. You could stick an anvil on my lashes and they wouldn't weaken.
I am so happy to be home. Jackson and I are together again. I hate leaving him and this was a long stint. I thought about bringing him for a few days but he gets very bored at the bars. I've also told him that only really really dumb people smoke and whenever he is at one of the bars he'll see one of the managers smoking and say " ... works for you. I thought you said everyone who smokes is really stupid. If he/she is really stupid then why do they work for you?" " Well Jackson they are very stupid about that part of their lives but that does not make them bad people and they are good at some things." I have dug myself a hole with that life lesson. That's it everyone has to quit smoking or your fired! The last time I took Jackson to the New Orleans bar he aksed why everyone just sits around at the bar all day? There are so many layers to that question and just as many layers to the answer I would give. So let's just say people love to chat and have fun. Simple.
During my stay in Memphis John Henry the new GM of Miami came i to visit. " What a lightweight. He threw up 3 times. It was just embarrassing. Maybe we'll get him a nipple so he can nurse one beer all night. This way he doesn't vomit everywhere and shame the good Coyote Ugly name"
Judith sent me notes from a lecture on stress management.
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience,
>
> > raised a glass of water and asked,
> >
> > "How heavy is
> this glass of water?"
> >
> > Answers called out ranged from 20g to
> 500g. >
> >
> > The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight
> doesn't matter. >
> >
> > It depends on how long you try to hold
> it. >
> >
> > If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
>
> >
> > If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
> >
> >
> > If I hold it for a day, you'll ha ve to call an
> ambulance. >
> >
> > In each case, it's the same weight, but the
> longer I hold it, the
> > heavier it becomes." >
> >
> > He
> continued,
> >
> > "And that's the way it is with stress management.
>
> > If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
> > as
> the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
> > we won't be able to carry on.


Taking Jackson to caribbean tomorrow. Hopefully I can put the glass down so I can go swimming!!!
>

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Tonight is the finals for the second season. I am so nervous for the girls. Last year I did not know the girls. This year the competitors are veteran girls so I know them personally. Tune into to the show, the girls have me tearing up quite a few times. I know I'm going to cry tonight when I break some of the girls hearts. Crap.
Memphis staff has rocked this week. I am very proud of them.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

God Damn Miami. I get a call from Jeff W last night. He was livid. The Miami managers bypassed corporate on something important and really fucked up.
This may sound very strange but every time I come to memphis and i stay in this one particular hotel I feel like my body gets very upset. This morning Jacqui and i were complaining about the same things and I realized the last time i was here for an extended stay I felt this way as well. I never , ever get bags or puffy eyes, but whenever I stay here in this city, in this hotel, I wake with huge puffy eyes. I am just gross and lethargic. I told jacqui today that someone must have put a hit on us and they are pumping carcinigens through the air in our rooms. ( maybe it is someone who is jealous of our celebrity on the show and just wants to make us look really bad on camera)
So much crap going on from every bar . Wow

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Holy Crap. I am in Memphis shooting the final episode of season two and of course I always forget that I am mic 'd. So of course, I say things I shouldn't or go to the bathroom and forget they are listening. ( Not only are they listening but they are recording.) Oh well, what the hell am I going to do?
Jackson and I made out like bandits at the three mardi gras parades we went to. He was so excited that we caught so many beads. When a float would come near us we would high five and I would say " be aggressive. Wave and look like your about to cry so people feel sorry for you." At the day parades it worked well. Last night we went to a night parade within 5 minutes someone dumped a beer on my head .Then the next as if on cue someone through a plastic cup from a float and hit me square in the nose. For one second I was thinking "hey I can say I have a deveated septum like Jennifer aniston and get a nose job. " ( by the way I believe she really had a deveated septum cause her nose was always small) At this point I was not happy but I had to pretend everything was fine for Jackson. Regardless we had a great time and his dad brought him to two more parades today.
Nashville rocked last night! Nice showing for Memphis and San Antonio too!!
I am glued to this Anna Nicole situation. I laughed so hard when Gsa Gsa's husband said it was his child. I hope the child is alright. So sad.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

My homepage is CNN.com and I just turned on the internet and saw that Anna nicole Smith just died. What the hell? First her son and now her. She just had a baby. That poor child.
It has been a very long day.
I must be displaying some image of a pathetic girl lately cause yesterday Gabe said to me " lil you have a lot of people who love you. You can lean on your friends." Holy crap where did that come from? Today I received an e-mail from judith saying " you should feel good in your own skin. You don't need to diet." I must be giving off some form of " my dog just died" vibe. ( don't worry Cheeto is fine). In response to Gabe, thank you I love my friends and I will lean like the Leaning Tower of Piza when I need to. And Judith, I've got one week left of filming and none of my clothes fit. I bitch about it but at approximately 8 pm last night you could find me at Mortons Steak house eating a huge piece of Chocolate Mouse Cake. So dry your eyes Judith, your little girl will simply buy bigger pants.
My son is so cute. He submitted a shoe box float for a contest and he was so excited about it. When we came in to school we saw a few other entries and he was a bit deflated. The rules said that parents could not help. It was pretty obvious that some of the parents did help. But I will tell you this, his project might not have been the neatest, but it was certainly the most fun. He used mardi gras beads and made fleur di lis with glitter . Personally I think his was the best!
The other day I asked his dad to bring Jackson to the stables and Jackson and I would feed the horses. Well his dad brought Jackson and helped him feed a horse. Well the horse bit Jackson. ( not badly but it shock him up) Now I am trying to make sure Jackson does not become afraid of horses so I am convincing him that it was his dad's sudden movement that freaked the horse out and that was why the horse bit him. Yesterday Jackson said to me, " I think your right it was dad's fault the horse bit me" I was a Psych major in college hopefully this does not back fire.
My son is incredible!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Today is complete craziness. My phone has been ringing off the hook and I am trying to finish all my projects before I leave for memphis on Sunday. Today I am feeling overwhelmed.
Kat ( ft. lauderdale) went to Finland and came in 2nd place in the Finlandia competition. Congrats!
Back in the day I could lose a pant size in one week easily. Sunday I start filming again for the show. I have been exercising my butt off yet I have gained 3 lbs and everything is tight. I would not go back in time because I am so much happier and wiser now but for god sakes why does your body have to go? You know what, FUCK IT!! I'm not dieting , I'm simply too hungry for that!
Back to work.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Go Colts!! A little sad that the Saints didn't make the superbowl but I am pleased that the colts won. GO MIAMI BAR AWESOME
For the last month my son has been taking horseback riding lessons. Personally, I have riden horses in the past but no real lessons . I have probably been horseback riding 10 times in my life. A few of those times were in Colombia , South America while visiting relatives and let's just say the horses were not well trained. Well as a lot of mothers I want my son to have a life I never had and be exposed t o a lot of things. Yesterday we walked to the stables just to say hello to the horses and find out why there were so many horses added to the stables. Well it ends up that the owner buys about 30 horses every year right before Mardi Gras and then sells them directly afterwards. Well when I started asking about the horses I found out that most of them don't have names and they just spend their lives being bought and sold. Now it has pulled at my heart strings and I want to buy one so it can have a stable home. I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HORSES!!! God damn it. I love animals I can't help it. I always have. I know I can get one of these horses cheap. I can even board them there but I am so scared I am making this decision based on sheer emotion. AGAIN I don't know anything about horses. This is going to torture me seeing all these horses with no names and no futures.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

4 anniversary parties in one month!!! I survived. The Austin girls looked so beautiful. Some of these girls have killer bodies on them. " Jacqui, the Austin bar has a few very hot bouncers you might have a challenge for best looking security" I had a great time. I went out with Kellor for dinner . When we got back to the bar I was greeted by a group of the San Antonio girls. All I can say is that they looked like they were having a great time. The Austin girls did a great job. I am very proud of them. Shawna the GM of San Antonio did a body shot off of me for $300. I never knew she thought of me like that, I'm just too damn sexy for my own good.
Last year Austin secured a new office area on the second floor. It's so big they actually put a pool table in there. Lee and I spoke about it last night and we feel that the space should be utilized in a more money generating way. If it can't produce revenue it will become the new corporate warehouse. Right now I spend quite a bit of money storing the portable bars and the merch. All that space would be perfect for storage. " Daniel if you want to keep the pool table start generating some money upstairs!"

Thursday, February 01, 2007

On my way to Austin for the 3 year anniversary party. Memo for next January: Don't schedule 2 anniversary parties for the same week. Holy crap 4 anniversaries in 1 month. I don't know if my liver can survive it. This week I am definitely battling this flu everyone has . I am definitely getting old because I keep thinking to myself " why can't I build a dynasty out of some wine and cheese bars?" Tonight I am drinking wine, NO CROWN.
I had sent Daniel from Austin to Miami for 3 weeks to help with the new GM. From what people tell me( cause I only see the unfunny, stubborn, black and white side of him) he is quite a prankster. He and Big Mike ( am Miami) have had a few pranks running back and forth during his stay in Miami. Last week, Bike Mike sent a transvestite stripper to Daniel's room and totally freaked Daniel out. Daniel called me a few days ago and asked me to play along with a prank he was pulling on Mike. He asked me to forward a phony report to Mike basically saying that his recommendation is that Mike not stay on in Management etc. So I did. From what I hear Mike was nailed hook line and sinker. John henry had to calm him down and tell him it was a joke. It was quite funny. And I was glad to be a part of it, I just wish I was there to see Mike's face.
Off to Austin!

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