Friday, February 25, 2005

I had a meeting with Aaron and Chantel last night. The torch is being past. Aaron got himself engaged and is moving back to the big apple. Chantel is taking over. Chantel and I were talking about Aaron feeling no nostalgia just wanting to go back home to NY. I told Chantel that I knew if she ever left that I would have to give her some incredible going away party. She said " Lil if I ever leave it's going to be with you and the company." " yeah your right ."
I went to my hairdresser the other day. This particular hairdresser , Sal, was refered to me by one of my girls 3 years ago and I refered Chantel and so on and so on. Well he told me that Chantel got him a christmas present and randomly gave him a Versace shirt. Last night I said to Chantel " you're making me look bad."
I'm very bad with gifts. I give very nice gifts but they may not come on your actual birthday. Jacqui's the same way, she'll get me a birthday present but a month late. Jackson's birthday is a month after mine, I think Jacqui has that date so engrained in her head that now she thinks it's mine.
As part of the manager's employee packagein New Orleans, they can choose to live in an apartment that I own close to the bar. This apartment is incredible. 2000 sq. foot loft style apartment. When we opened, Marshall and Aaron took the apartment. I told them they could paint the apartment however they wanted. ( Just to give more specifics on the apartment, it has exposed brick on some of the walls. Beautiful hardwood floors and very nice windows. ) Marshall picked this god awful baby blue. I'll never forget walking in and feeling shocked at how ugly it looked. He even painted some of the brick this blue. Just god awful! Well Chantel asked me if she could paint the apartment? I said of course you can paint the apartment. Please do. That apartment needs a woman's touch to restore it to it's previous glory!
Aaron told me about a competition 2 of the New Orleans bouncers have going on . It is a "who's more disgusting" competion. I will tell you things they have done in ascending order from mildly disgusting to very disgusting. 1.Licking of a tire. 2.Licking of an armpit. 3.Drinking water from a puddle. 4.Drinking water straight from the toilet. What I heard one of the bouncers did the other night is so disgusting I can't even write about it.
For readers the moral of today's story should be 1. an education is so important and 2. please use birth control

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

How cute is jenn hawk's mom?
Lil, love the web site. Jen Hawk, San Antonio,is my daughter. I feel so much closer to her since I can read about her and see pics, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I live in Montana, haven't seen her for several years. Had to laugh at the comment about the SA girls wearing makeup! I am a makeup artist by profession. No self respecting WOMAN/Coyote should be seen in public without it! Be glad to lend a hand! Thanks for sponsoring Harley! The kids are wrong though, they get the cute and smart from their GG (I refuse to be called grandmother!) GG stands for Grandma Glenda. Yeah Jen gets her attitude from me! Self-fucking defense! Keep up the good work, would love to join Jen on the bar someday! San Antonio wouldn't know what the hell hit um!

Jenn told me she just received pictures of her mother doing "Keg stands" . If you don't know what that is it is when you do a handstand above the keg using the handles as supports. She's a braver woman then me!
marshall is in town this week. aaron , myself, and marshall went out to lunch. They have known each other all their lives so when you go out with them you always feel like they have a secret language that they are communicating behind your back. I assume it is the same phenomenom that happens with twins.
Of course one of the employees came to me with a gripe about a decision a manager made. I tell them all the same thing. "I'll look into it but regardless of what I uncover I'm going to completely back the manager."
99.999% of the time the manager is completely right.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A lot going on today. Everyone is in Denver. We are trying to hire a GM. Kevin always says I have a six sense with people. There was a guy who applied for the gm position in Nashville who had a very impressive resume. After listening to him, I had a sense that something wasn't right. Kevin said, "Lil, I really like this guy." I said, "Kevin he's a gambler." "Lil how the hell do you know that. You're putting labels on someone before you know them." (I would drive Kevin crazy because I would refer to this applicant and say "You know, the gambler." I felt it was not coincidental that all the cities he had worked in had legalized gambling. Well it ended up that Kevin called a few people around town and I was very close on a few of the impressions I had.

I am completely fascinated by the siamese twin phenomenom. They just removed one head from a little girl who was born with two heads. I viewed a picture and the second head seemed very developed. My friend Jill and I have been curious about the cognitive power of the head that was removed. This is her last corespondence to me:
"I, too, feel for the tragic head. Though I'm fairly
certain that it was parasitic -- and did not have it's
own brain. I seem to recall once learning that the
smiling and blinking is called shadowing. The brain in
the other twin is sending the message."

Monday, February 21, 2005

Got a dress for Vegas !!! I was hoping to do something cheesy like see Wayne Newton but he is not performing that weekend. Lee set us up to go see Cirque de Soleil. I love gambling so I will head to the casinos right after these scheduled events. HIT ME!

I'm not impressed with the Razr phone. It seems that the antenae is very weak and the signal strength is always too weak to download things and send text messages. I'm so glad it was a present and I didn't pay for it.
I'm stressing over Vegas. I haven't found a dress and I'm feeling fat. Obviously PMS is setting in. I could just bitch for hours. My computer is runnng slow. Can't unlock my new blackberry. Denver is right around the corner and I don't feel ready. People constantly tell me that they wish they had such a glamorious life, all the travel. I can't tell you how over all this traveling I am. I constantly have a strain in my neck and I realize it is because I'm always carrying a carry-on bag and my computer . Then top it off with normal stress. When I get very stressed out I can't even turn my head. There are no direct flights from New Orleans. To go to Austin or San Antonio I have to connect in Houston. What should be a 2 hour flight turns into a 5 hour trip with layover. .....
When I went to the doctor during the flu week I told him that I felt my pms was getting worse. His response " you're in your thirties, you are going to feel crazy until you are in your mid to late forties. Then you stable off for 15 or 20 years . After that it is a steep decline. Then you're dead." So I'm in " the crazy years" .

Saturday, February 19, 2005

I never told this story, I started to but I was questioning it's validity and now I know it is true. Ashley, one of my New Orleans girls, donated her kidney to her cousin. I saw her today and she was telling me all about it. Unfortunately her cousin's body rejected it. They told her that her kidney just started to disintegrate in him. That's so sad. He is back on the list for a new one.
I started using my razor phone tody. It just stop working power went off and I couldn't get it back on. I'm a jinx on these phones. This is my third phone in 3 months. Thank god it was a present because if I paid for it, then I would be really pissed.

Friday, February 18, 2005

This is a good one:

Comments: "Maybe Miss Fucking Bitch doesn't get paid enough to work when very ill??

Maybe Miss Fucking Bitch didn't want to infect everybody with her flu??

Maybe you kept Miss Fucking Bitch's position open because you can't find enough girls who are desperate enough to work for slave labor rates under slave labor conditions??

It doesn't seem particuliarly ethical to knowingly expose your drunken patrons to all kinds of illnesses especially contageous because of your touching body shots!

What an employer. "

----------------
The girls make minimum wage plus tips. If you call working at Coyote slave labor then I'm jealous of your princess ( prince) lifestyle. And lastly she was given off two nights so she could recover. One of those nights she chose to go out partying. I'm pretty fine with what happened. Miss Fucking Bitch is now on her own. I have a feeling she probably misses the slave wages and conditions.

I am switching everyone over from Sprint to Cingular. Candice looked up my account and told me I use all of my 5000 minutes. That means that every month I am on the phone 83 hours. I am sickened by that. I need to take up a sport. Jeff M. has set up a celebrity golf tournament. The proceeds benefit a Domestic Violence charity. Well I've never golfed ever. I've hit the ball at a driving range, but never actually golfed. I figure I better go a few times before I make a fool of myself.
Surprise city is about to be signed!!!!
One of the Nashville girls told me a pickup line that a guy said to her. " My love for you is like diahrea, I just can't hold it in!" I have a feeling he doesn't have many dates.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

I had a great time at the San Antonio bar. The girls wore makeup. I'm so proud. I met Jenn Hawk's kids. They are so sweet and smart. They said they get it from their father.
I sat next to this retired Colonel on the plane ride home. He kept on making the sign of the cross. He said he had to do double for me too because if I go down he's going down too. I made it home so I guess it worked.
I received a letter today saying that I should have more pictures of the bouncers up. Some girl wants a picture of Matt ( New Orleans bouncer) Such a pretty boy. On the other side of that Tiny from San Antonio showed me pictures he had taken from his trip to the New Orleans bar. Travis get off your fat ass and work out!!!
Last week I got a letter telling me to tell the bouncers to stop doing the dances and go watch porn like normal men. If the woman really read my lil spills she would read that the bouncers watch a lot of porn on my computer. Usually I take Kerry and travis to help train the new bouncers at the new bars. Well they both did various things to not get asked to Denver so I asked Pump from New Orleans and I am thinking of asking one of the NY guys. I figure it will be like the "Sopranos" meets the " Dukes of Hazard."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I'm in San Antonio. Some funny stuff. Jenn Hawk one of the San Antonio Assistant managers has been imparting her wisdom on the girls. I know you expect me to say things like " go to school, get an education." " Family first." " You need to work hard to get ahead." Now that is what you would think is coming from an assistant manager. No Jenn Hawk is telling the girls " If you're going to do it , do it twice." " It ain't going to lick it self." " Please let go of my ears . I know what I'm doing."
I have to fend this girl off " Lil, I don't want to sleep with you just make out." My god, I have to have Kevin fend her off me.
So the night I get here, Natasha one of the girls is out at an afterhours place. The place gets busted by the TABC. She goes to jail. Well the managers and the employees are so upset trying to get her out. So endearing. Well she gets out and I say to her it's so nice that everyone cared. In New Orleans this is a weekly event. Chantel's boyfriend is a cop so we just call him to help.
These girls remind me so much of the NY girls.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Let's revisit Mardi gras. One of the girls called Chantel on Monday and told her she had a fever of 104. Let's call this girl "Miss Fucking bitch" for the sake of the story. Just so you understand during Mardi gras the New Orleans bar is open for 5 days straight. 24 hours a day. We tell the girls months ahead of time that for those 5 days noone can call in sick because it is a logistical nightmare to reschedule them and the girls are all working a million hours. So Miss Fucking Bitch calls chantel and tells her that she is very very sick. Chantel breaks our rules and makes changes to cover Miss Fucking Bitch's shifts for 2 days. That was very nice of chantel and the girls who had to pick up the slack. Wednesday rolls along and Miss fucking Bitch is asked to come in because mardi gras is over and all the girls have this flu that is racing through the city. She bitches about coming in but she shows up to help out. During that night one of the other girls has a high fever and Chantel lets her go home. This particular girl, Jennifer carbello, has worked her butt off and in fact helped cover extra shifts because of Miss Fucking bitch's absenses. Well Miss Fucking Bitch waits til Chantel leaves and says to the new AM Tara " You better let me go home too or I'll have to quit" So Tara said ' Do what you have to do" And Miss fucking bitch walks out in the middle of her shift. The reason I am actually writting about this incident is to praise the other girls for really picking up the slack. Aaron told me how proud he was of all the girls. He said they did such a good job and really pulled it together when Miss Fucking Bitch started pulling all this shit. From Aaron, Chantel, Tara and Myself we are so proud of you girls.
Now back to Miss Fucking Bitch. This particular girl has worked for us for years. She has taken off months to travel and we have held her job for her. She has been given so much leighway because of her school hours and we always appeased her. She was scheduled to go away the whole summer and we were going to fill her shifts until she got back. All this and she turns around and stabs us and her fellow Coyotes in the back. If this story is not sad enough, aaron found out that tuesday night of Mardi gras she actually wasn't sick , she went out partying. That bridge is officially burned. To Miss Fucking Bitch , In the immortal words of Al Goldstein " Fuck You!"

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I love Chantel but she is the worst photographer ever. I just looked at the New Orleans photos on the web. I swear a blind person could of taken better pictures. "Guido, please take more pictures. Your pictures are always so much better?"

Jeff Myers has become my new Lee, except he doesn't piss me off. He just wrote me a letter about how he didn't know where I was and I should notify him. Let me paint a picture. Jeff M. is a great GM. He is all over it in Nashville. But being from the south, not that there is anything wrong with that, he has an incredibly strong Tennessee accent. In his letter to me he said that he was glad that Jackson and I had a good time and that Jackson was a cool kid. This is the part that is funny. He concludes his letter to me with this gem, ".... not that I know anything about Birthing babies." I think his new name should be Jethro. He is a living "Hollywood Hillbilly".

I also looked at the San Antonio pictures. The girls went to a Brooks and Dunne show and Brooks and Dunne partied at the bar all night. The girls are so pretty but they don't wear any makeup. Wear some fucking makeup!!! If you are going to go and represent Coyote, look your best! Wear makeup, look sexy. Lee came back from San Antonio a few weeks ago and said that he thought the girls were trying really hard. They were becoming great performers and they were getting better at sales. But he also said that they don't put in any effort on their appearance. The girls don't dress up or put on makeup. After looking at those pictures I have to agree. I wish you could see these girls in person they are so cute and pretty. WEAR SOME MAKEUP AND PUT ON NICER CLOTHES. IT'S TIME TO GRADUATE FROM GIRLS TO WOMEN!

I'll be in San Antonio Tuesday and Wednesday.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Jackson had off Mardi Gras week so I tool him to Breckinridge , Colorodo. He went skiing for the first time. It was so cute by the second day he was on the ski lift going down the mountain. The first day I was there I had severe altitude sickness. I had a severe migraine and I was vomitting quite a bit. Gross! well a doctor brought me an oxygen tank and within 15 minutes I felt so much better.
Mardi Gras was a dissappointment. We actually did well in comparison to most of the french quarter bars. Michael from Nashville did an excellent job ( he was upset I didn't write about him). What he doesn't realize is that if he does something wrong, I'll definitely write about him and he won't be so happy.
Everyone knew I was going away for a few days with my son. As usual the person who called everyday pissed off that I wasn't accessable was Lee. Kevin was funny , I spoke with him from the airport today and he said " let's do a three way call right now." I'm in the airport with my son, you are going to have to wait.
Some heavy shit going on but I can't speak about it yet. I'll be at the New Orleans bar tomorrow night. I'm glad to be home

Monday, February 07, 2005

This is the first year I haven't gone down to the bar for Mardi Gras. I feel a bit guilty over it but I just can't afford to get sick with Denver opening up so soon. I've heard a few stories from aaron. He seems happy with the performance of the girls. Of course a few of the girls are feeling sick but I think most of the people in New Orleans currently have the flu . The girls know they can't call in sick for Mardi Gras. Unfortunately I have a feeling after Mardi Gras is over we'll have a run on people calling in sick.
It seems that Travis from New Orleans has some competition. Tiny, bouncer from S A, came into town to help out during Mardi Gras. I was told by a very knowledgeable source that Tiny knows the dances better then Travis. I would love to see that.
Tim sent me an e-mail last week speaking about Denver: " Anything that happens here that is positive, I would like full credit.  Anything negative , please blame someone else"
The beauty about corporate structure. Kevin is Tim's boss. So Kevin will be given the credit for the positive things that are happening in Denver. Anything negative will fall on Tim's shoulders. Just the way it goes.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

The South! We had a girl in Nashville, she was actually one of the dance captains. She didn't show up for her shift and got fired. I just found out she was trying to charge the girls money for helping them practice the dances. That really pissed me off. Her story continues. Jeff M. told me that a woman came into the bar very upset. She had been married 1 month and her husband left her to start living with this particular girl.

I swear everyday down here is a Jerry Springer episode.

I'm turning into a hermit. I haven't gone into the New Orleans bar since friday. I've spoken to Aaron on the phone quite a bit. I am starting to feel like I have some weird OCD that revolves around traffic. I would rather be by myself holed up in my office then get caught in traffic. I live within 4 miles of the New Orleans bar. But in between my house and the bar are where the majority of parades take place. Last year, I had such a bad experience with traffic that I just can't bare to leave my house. I've even contemplated walking there and back.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

The madness begins. Mardi Gras started. Yesterday I walked over to Laura and told her that she looked very pretty. She said, "Lil, all you need is a good night sleep, a couple of hours of morning sex, and a really good haircut." I'll work on that.

Kristy (NY), Marsha (San Antonio), and Aja (Nashville) flew into town to work Mardi Gras. Right off the bat Aja got food poisoning and had to switch shifts. I called Jeff M. from Nashville and told him to explain to her that there is no switching we are open 24 hours until Wednesday, and everybody's schedule is as tight as it can get. Might seem harsh but suck it up and pull your weight! Marsha worked the 4am - noon shift and Aaron said she did great.

[KRISTY OF NYC]Kristy is so funny. Jacqui has been working extra with her because she has, to put it nicely, 2 left feet. She told me that Jacqui said she would bend the rules for her and approve her for 1 dance. She told Aaron and Chantel that she was not a strong dancer. She came down for her 8pm shift wearing a skirt that, as Aaron put it, was no bigger then a belt. And a top similar in size. She looked at both Aaron and Chantel, pointed to her own outfit and said, "This is my talent"! I laughed so hard when Aaron told me that.

One day in and no major catastrophies. I'm trying to stay away this year so I don't get sick again.

Thanks Popsicle for the double lash.

Friday, February 04, 2005

I just got off the phone with my trademark attorney. We were discussing strategies for a contract I'm negotiating. He kept on referring to Coyote Ugly as the most famous bar in the world. I've heard that mentioned before. I'm starting to believe it's true. Pretty damn cool, I own the most famous bar in the world. As the old saying goes " that and a dime still only gets you a cup of coffee." There is a spot in the US that I believe to be the highest grossing area for bars and restuarants in the country. The company that owns this particular location won't give us the time of day. They have always responded to us with a "you're not a good fit for us. You're too small" Well fuck it, I'm going back to them " We are the most famous bar on the planet lease us some space god damn it!!!"

Thursday, February 03, 2005

I just watched the DVD the Austin crew made for Marshall. It is hysterical. They did it as a documentary. Pretending that they are uncovering sex, drugs etc at the Coyote Austin. I laughed so hard but also I got choked up thinking how much the bar means to everyone.
Last week I went to lunch with Tara ( old). She was telling me about a series of events that have transpired in her life the last few years. What is really wonderful to hear is that she credits working at Coyote with some very positive changes in her life. I say it in every interview and it really is true " Coyote is empowering to women". Tara can attest to that. But I love hearing all the stories from Bouncers, porters, barbacks, and the girls.
Yesterday I got pictures from maria and kim. They both sent me pictures of the old ice machine being dismantled. I know it may sound stupid but it really pulled at my heartstrings . It was one of the few original things left at the NY bar. As everything in life this too must change. Hopefully today I'll get some pictures of the new ice machine. For the price we had to pay it better make ice and gold!
Today I'm picking up Kristy from NY, Aja and a bouncer ( not sure who they sent) from nashville). Let the Mardi gras madness begin.
The denver project is becoming more costly every day. " You've got to bet big to win big"

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Hey Lil I have a proposition for you " Would you be interested in putting money into a club that plays country music and has choreographed line dances in NYC?" So basically what you're asking me is if I would put my own money into a concept that would compete with my own concept? Unbelievable! People are just unbelievable. Today is the first day that I left my house in 5 days. Being sick sucks!! They are having a Vietnamese celebration at Jackson's school. I need to get him vietnamese style clothing and look for vietnamese music. He's in pre-k and he is learning more then i did in high school. The french are very progressive with education. ( He's in french immersion school. Fully accredited in france)
I got an e-mail yesterday from a guy claiming to be Jacqui's prom date. Today she called me and told me she has no idea who it is.
Today is the day, The new ice machine is coming in. I told jacqui to take pictures.
Just booked my hotel for the Las Vegas nightclub and bar convention. Every hotel was booked. I finally got a room at the Bellagio. I love Vegas. I'm receiving an award . They have an award every year called the "Innovator of the Year award" Well this year celebrates the 20th year of this convention and magazine. So they are awarding 4 different people. Someone e-mailed me and said that they couldn't wait to hear my speech. Now I'm freaking out. I didn't think I had to give a speech. Shit!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Just got the plans for a spot in Mexico. Crossing my fingers. Denver seems a million years away. I definitely feel a bit disconnected with that project. Last night Kevin and I were speaking about what projects will be ready this summer. I was thinking that if it was a cool city ( cool both culturally and in climate) I would rent a house with jackson and stay for a little while. Louisiana in the summer is grueling. I can't disclose the city that he told me would be in construction over the summer but let's just say it;s not a place to rent a house with your son. So I now am trying to get him to push forward one of the west coast projects. I never had any urge to move to the west coast but as I get older it really appeals more and more to me. I never cared about the weather before but living in Louisiana makes me ornary and mean during the summer. 100 degrees with 99% humidity can kill you.

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