Friday, July 30, 2004

San Antonio bar is rocking! I'm glowing I'm so happy!
No bar opening goes without a hitch. Our 2 big hitches have been the AC and the ice machine. Of course the AC went down opening night. It was a sauna in here. A repair man came the next day. Of course there seems to be 2 options. 1. keep fixing it evertime it breaks or 2. Pay fucking $22,000 for a state of the art AC unit. I've become desensitized to these problems.
I'm figuring Kevin ( mr. budget)decided to divert some money from a top notch ice machine and pay $2000 for top of the line radios for security. " Lil, please don't be pissed. I got the top of the line radios for security." I was definitely not too pleased but I can't lie after 2 days the radios are paying for themselves. They are so clear and it has made life so easy for communicating between the 2 entrances and the second floor.
Thanks to Rio Rio and Swig for lending us ice on opening night. OK back to the grind.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

At this point we've had an infringer die in a car crash, an infringer get flesh eating disease, an infringing club was blown up, an investigator died - the Ugly, Inc. investigation being his last, and now another infringing establishment was burglarized and trashed. What next?
A letter from my trademark lawyer Rob. Interesting.

Big opening in San Antonio tonight! I'm very excited.

this is an audio post - click to play

Monday, July 26, 2004

We have the remainder of our inspections today. Cross your fingers. Jacqui is hysterical. She is afraid of flying. She goes to the bars to teach the girls the choreography. It takes all of her courage to get on the planes. She very rarely goes to the openings of the bars . I invited her to the san Antonio opening. Today she said " Lil, I can't lie. It's looking like I won't come to the San Antonio opening." I said to her " I told Lee last week that I thought you would be a no show." " Lil I just don't really want to fly if I don't absolutely have to be there."
When I told her that we may be opening a bar in Japan she said " Have fun without me. There is no way I'm going that far!" My response to her was " If I have to shoot you with a tranquilizer gun myself, you're going!" LOL I figure there will have to be a shit load of Valium for Jacqui if we start opening overseas.
NY bar rocked this weekend!!! Knock on wood. ( no jinx)

Sunday, July 25, 2004

I just received one of the nicest letters about the Austin bar. Here is an exerpt:

"I have to say that your employees are not only incredibly beautiful, but very professional as well. They are also the embodiment of grace, elequence, style and charm. I have spent many hours watching and listening to the way they handle the roudy and the calm, the gentlemen and ladies as well as the not so gentleman and ladies.

You have created a world class establishment, along with world class employees. It is not only a pleasure to watch them in thier daily duties, but it is an honor to have become a customer of yours and to have made new friends as well.

Your security staff is as equally worthy as your barstaff. In the short time that I have visited your business I have never seen nor heard of any issues that required your security staffs involvement. This again is a great credit to you and the Austin staff."

That just made my day.
This week the San Antonio location is opening up. I'm very excited. Last night we took all the girls out around town. ( we, I mean management. I'm back in New Orleans) I'm sure today I'll hear some stories!


Friday, July 23, 2004

I always hear about people leasing or buying spaces for bars and their turnaround time for opening is within 6 weeks. That never happens for me. I got a call yesterday from Jeff telling me that we are very close to signing the Nashville lease. Of course I was very excited about this. Today I get another call from Jeff stating that this particular space might not be zoned for a beer permit.
So yesterday the conversation was that Nashville is going well. The turnaround time should be very quick.
Today the conversation is about how much time , energy , and money might have to be used to get this beer permit. Unfucking believable. I always say to myself " It's the hard that makes it great!"
Yesterday I also received an e-mail from Jeff outlining all of our current infringers ( that we know about). A couple of them we had persued. They had stopped infringing but we recently found that they have started back up again. I simply said to Jeff " tell Debrauare ( sp) to go after them".
Today just started and I'm in up to my neck. But I wouldn't have it any other way!

Thursday, July 22, 2004

The goddamn meter maid that works the french quarter is a nazi! ( just an expression) My god I was parked in front of the bar for 2 seconds and the bouncer screamed to me that she was on her way to ticket me. I said to her " Look I own the bar, I will only be here for a little bit" Her response " Move your car now". Why does Shermin williams get to block off two parking spaces? I can never catch a break. So everytime I go to the New Orleans bar I have to park in the pay parking lot. That is ridiculous.
The count down is underway. Kevin called me up pretty nervous about the scheduling of our electrical inspection. If Kevin's nervous then I'm nervous. On another note, I started to think that Kevin was really an imposter because he hasn't really lost his cool yet. Just to back track he starts to get really on edge about a month before these openings. ( most of the responsibility lies directly on his shoulders.) But he has been in pretty good form this opening. Today I saw the true Kevin come out. He called to rant and rave a bit. So everything in our universe is right now. I had a nightmare the other night about noone showed up for the opening. I told Lee about it because he is head of marketing .
As I always say ; it doesn't matter how many of these you open it is always stressful.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I get a call from Marshall last night. The topic of the conversation was" what girls should do when they split their pants". In a very busy day that conversation put a smile on my face. My standard reply : two essential products to have at a Coyote. 1. Duck tape 2.Staples.

For the all embarassing rip up the butt seam. Duck tape will get you through the night. For a less embarassing hole in your pants or hem comes unstiched. Staples is a sturdy solution. I do not advise staples for anything above the thigh. Too dangerous!

Kevin asked if I would put on the Lil Spill " Kevin is the coolest guy on the planet" I respond to that "get us to pass all of our inspections and I will pay appropriate homage to you." San Antonio update; we got approved for our liquor license. We just passed our plumbing inspection. We have a few more hurdles to cross and we will be set for our opening. This is when I start getting a bit nervous.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Could it get any hotter? I have been lugging lumber all day . I guess this is what they refer to by micromanage. I'm actually finding old wood to make signs for the San Antonio bar.
The "fakin it" episode must of aired in the UK because I have been getting a lot of e-mails from there. Chantel and Tara are now international stars. Maybe they will become the new celebrities. We'll see them in people and Us magazine. I hope they listen to me and wear their makeup. I can see it in Us now best and worst dressed. Best dressed: Chantel and Tara out dolled up looking beautiful and then Worst dressed: pictures of them after a 10 hour shift at the bar, no makeup, sweating, with beer all over them. It's not easy being a celebrity.
Back to San Antonio tomorrow.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

I have a scout in St. Louis this weekend. Let's see what we can come up with. Jackson decided recently that he no longer likes to fly, so we had to drive both ways to San Antonio. Very, Very, long trip. I installed a dvd player in my car. Well worth the money. It is essential on long trips. 10 hours long to be precise. San Antonio is great for kids. Jackson went to Sea World, Splashtown, the zoo. It was like a vacation for him. I adore that little boy.
The world doesn't stop. I have promised myself that somewhere in between San Antonio and the next bar that I will take a vacation!! Some people sent me some links that look incredible. Kevin and I were talking about taking a company vacation. I said that I felt that defeated the purpose. His response was that we probably wouldn't take one if it wasn't a company trip. He's got a point.

Friday, July 16, 2004

When Jacqui comes to train the girls her goal is to teach them 3 choreographed dances. At the end of her stint in each city she ok's certain girls for each individual dance. Kevin and I were speaking about how funny it was that I think Jacqui ok'd Lee for one of the dances. He's got the moves.
Kevin has everything under control so I'm going home for a few days. I can't wait to get home!!
I'm so pissed that Stiffer is taking this " muscle building" crap. Why can't people just exercise and diet. Why are people taking these products? This product that they take is called NO2. I'm sorry but anything that makes you have muscle tics can't be good for you!! The product claims to " excelerate fast twitch strentgh." What the fuck does that mean? Warnings:"... Erectile dysfunction". Stiffler is already having enough problems getting laid. He certainly doesn't need erectile dysfunction.
Anyway back to work. Austin girls came down yesterday and showed their stuff. You girls did great!!
Back to the new security system. Kevin had installed a camera yesterday ( $2000 fucking dollars) that can actually focus all the way to a vendor's wagon across the Riverwalk. Pretty cool . Did I say $2000 for one camera? This piece of equipment better do something spectacular for that price.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

I love this bar!!! I hope I'm not jinxing anything but this project is going really well. The girls are great. They have been putting in so many hours and they are trying really hard. We got a mix of some strong dancers , strong bartenders, and quite a few lookers. I'm so proud!!
I'm always amazed by modern technology. The security system is unbelievable. I can see everywhere in the space and outside. We can have it run adjacent with the POS system. Pretty cool.
Things are moving smoothly today. Cross your fingers.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The girls are doing very well. Knock on wood , I think we are progressing quite smoothly!
Some girl called today to say that she was in pretty bad shape from all the rehearsing. Then she said she thought she needed the day off because she didn't want anyone to catch her cold. All I can say is "there are 350 girls who would gladly take your place. " Chantel told me today that a new girl called in sick. Her excuse was that her feet hurt. Chantel was like " yeah everyone's feet hurt!" Another funny note. A girl who we let go in New Orleans came in to San Antonio to apply for a job. What is going through her mind? She knows I own both these bars. She was fired from one bar. Why in the world would I hire her in another bar?
Lee got me a book a couple of years ago by Robert Kiyosaki. The book talks about business minded people working through 4 quadrants to acheive business success. The first quadrant is people who are employed by others. The second quadrant is people who are self employed business owners. The third quadrant is investors/owners who still keep responsibilities with the company. The fourth quadrant is owner/investor who just sits back and cashes their checks. Lee constantly tells me that I am stuck in the third quadrant. All I can say to that is I am very happy in the third quadrant. Sometimes I even poke my head back to the second, just for fun.
kevin is pissed we got rejected again for our sign. The sign we proposed concurrs with all the regulations that the historic commission has outlined. It's amazing to me why these people always pick us to target. Not only are we employing people in the community we are also increasing traffic in this area. Blah blah blah

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Kelly new GM of San Antonio. The bar looks great. We are all definitely starting to step on each others toes but that happens at every bar. Kevin painted the office this puke green yellow color. I said to him " good the managers won't spend too much time in the office." Kevin said " exactly!" This has been an issue with some of the bars. I find out that the managers spend hours in the office instead of on the floor. Well that makes me quite irate.
I stood on the first floor of the San Antonio bar looking around yesterday and I said to Jacqui " do you believe how beautiful this bar is? I can't believe we turned a 1500 sq. ft dive bar into something so big and beautiful. !" This bar is about 5000 sq. ft. Two floors. We actually have a vip room that is gorgeous. Sometimes I'm amazed at what I've accomplished and what my team has done. I'm very proud!
Austin girls! I've spoken to Marshall about all of you girls coming to San Antonio on Thursday to take a refresher class with Jacqui. From what Marshall says the dances are really lacking with a lot of the girls. Use this opportunity to train directly with Jacqui. COME DOWN! ( if you are scheduled to work, obviously you can't come so don't worry about it)

Monday, July 12, 2004

I'm so pissed! The best dancer that we hired yesterday can't get out of her contract with 6 flags. Damn it! All this construction , I feel like I have the black lung again. Yesterday we hired 50 girls. 38 of those girls are legitimate bartenders. That is such a weight off my mind. Jacqui's job starts today. Her job is going to be hard because we definitely do not have many dancers.
It's crunch time.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

We are finishing up our 3rd day of tryouts for girls in San Antonio. I definitely favor bartenders but so many of these girls work at places that only have beer and wine. Not quite the calibre of bartender I'm looking for. I have lee outside grilling the girls who are claiming to be real bartenders outside. this one girl comes in and says " Lil I'm a real bartender but Lee asked me how to make a Colorodo Bulldog and I didn't know it!" So I had to go outside and say "Lee come on!! Can we stick to the basics,. I've never even heard of that drink !."

We are having final cuts tonight at 5pm. I have to pick 50 girls. Do you know how hard it is to find 50 girls that are good enough for Coyote. Well let's see if these girls rise to the occassion. On the positive note today was a heavy bartender turnout so I'm not so nervous.

Jacqui and I are pretty tired. 350 girls so far today and I've got over 100 girls coming back tonight. Tonight we will have our San Antonio staff!!!

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I am having the worst day. My morning started with some really bad news . I decided to try and make myself feel better by buying myself a new pair of jeans. I go in the store and the pants don't fit me because I've gained weight. I still buy a pair but one size bigger. So I walk out of the store, my ego a bit deflated, and there is a ticket on my car. I then get a call about painted flames on the backbar of San Antonio. I said " this is supposed to be a beautiful wooden old style saloon. Take the flames off" Well of course this is going to be an ordeal taking the flames down. The GM I wanted for San Antonio doesn't want to move from his job in Vegas ( he doesn't work for Coyote in Vegas). We got rejected for our sign in San Antonio. And I got home to one of the most scathing letters ever written to me. Now I am at my house alone. The door bell rang about 5 minutes ago. I went to the door ( not opening it) and asked " who is it" I repeated this 3 times. Finally a voice said " This is * from the Christian Youth group" I said I'm sorry but I'm busy. Now just so you understand. I said I was busy because I don't know this man and I am in the house alone. But what is going through my head is that I'm going to hell because I didn't open the door and help this guy. I can't win.


I had a meeting with the president of a big company from japan tonight. It went very well. Hopefully his company will sponsor us in Japan and we can open. The first part of the meeting was fairly typical, how much is construction of Coyote? How much do the various locations gross? How much time do you put in personally? Well we went from speaking about normal finances to talking about sponsoring a K2 fighter. Maybe this is my new profession? Maybe I will be the female don King?
I spoke to Jacqui today and she was very upset. It was the same old conversation " Vina and maria want to take yet another night off" These fucking New york girls are just out of control. Both of them are actresses. Jacqui, as GM, accomadates there schedules for rehearsals and play dates. But enough is enough. This is a fucking job. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
So its pretty simple if these girls need all this time off then we need some new girls to fill in.
COME AND APPLY IN PERSON AT THE COYOTE UGLY SALOON N.Y. Quick wit, bartending a plus, unspoken charm and the ability to keep a beat! Ask for Jacqui or Kim!

Monday, July 05, 2004

Since when has July 5th been a holiday. Nothing is open today. I'm going nuts.
Jackson and I had the best Fourth of July. He had so much fun watching the fireworks. I love watching him experience things for the first time. I'm sitting at my new office. It is a new cafe that has free wireless internet. I walked with my little laptop. I figured it would be nice being outside working. Well of course everyone and most businesses ( except mine) are closed today. It's almost like a day off. What am I going to do with myself?

Sunday, July 04, 2004

This is a first. Chantel told me that there was a specific girl who she recently fired. She said the girl called in sick one too many times and didn't seem to fit in with any of the other girls. Well this girl called Chantel to tell Chantel she couldn't go to work. Her story was that at that very moment she was outside her apartment completely naked ( locked out because of her boyfriend). And her boyfriend also cut off one of her fingers. So she wasn't able to come to work. "Naked and short one finger but that first call you make is to work?" Yeah, Right! But I enjoy the story. Also she was naked locked out of her apartment with her cellphone? I guess it wasn't an important finger he cut off!
Girls in San Antonio! People have been e-mailing in asking what they should wear. Go on the website and look at the clothes all the girls wear. Also, and this is very important : wear cowboy boots or motorcycle boots. No stilettos. I hate when girls come in stilettos. No real bartender will be bartending in stilettos, anywhere. And Coyotes have a lot of dancing and performing to do so wear boots that are comfortable but look the part. Happy 4th of july everyone!

Friday, July 02, 2004

How gross is this texas saying, " I'm screwing this cat, you just hold it's tail" I heard that yesterday. Pretty gross!.
Busy day today. I interviewed someone today to be kevin's assistant. We spoke for a little while and then we got into the personal stuff. " Tell me about your personal life?" " well Lil, currently I do not have a girlfriend and I have no kids." My response to that was " excellent! By the way, if you are part of the team, I want you to be happy. But none of us seem to be able to have successful relationships since we work so much. Are you ok with that?" His response " Lil , that's why I have never been able to keep a girlfriend!" Great ! I assume in the next few years we will have to include free therapy in their employment packages.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

I went on www.equifax.com to see what my credit rating was. Needless to say that it is not quite as good as I thought it would be. The kicker was that the report indicated that there was nothing I could do to get this certain thing erased from my record. Time would be the only thing that would lessen it's negative effects. god damn it!! Jacqui always laughs because I'm scared to apply for credit cards. How much money do I have to make to get a fucking credit card. Long story short, when I first opened the NY bar I was very broke. I had given every last dime to opening the bar and was simply making enough for rent and food. I had a few things in storage and I could not pay that bill. Not only did they auction off all my stuff but that stayed on my credit report forever. Tony always helped cosign credit cards for me. Finally one day about 4 years ago, Jacqui and I were in Bloomingdales and they were having some incredible sale. If I applied for the credit card I would get an extra 10% off. So I said fuck the embarrassment, I will apply. Waa Laa! They approved me!! That bloomingdales card was the first non Tony credit card I ever had. Now of course I have quite a few non Tony credit cards. I even have an American Express Blue card ( not black). But I still get turned down every once in awhile.
The funny part of the Tony credit cards was that he would receive all the bills. We weren't even dating and he would call me up and say " What's Via Spiga? You spent $150 there. I know it must be a shoe store. I just hope for that kind of money you got 4 pairs of shoes and not just one pair!" So I barely used the Tony credit cards for fear of his condemnation of my spending habits.
Yesterday was a good day at the office. I offered this great guy Matthew the GM position in San antonio. I'm hoping he'll take it. And We are very close to hiring someone else for our corporate team. Might not seem like a big deal to most people but I pick my people very carefully. Not only do they have to be good at their job but they have to be someone I trust and get along with. So I am very careful who I let into the inner circle.
My Ultimate Fighter has been working out!!!

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