Monday, May 31, 2004

Just got off the phone with Jacqui. She's in rare form today.
Jacqui: " Lil, Vina is sick today. What the fuck is wrong with these girls? In our day you sucked it up and came to work."
Me: " They are cut from a different cloth Jacquimo. "
Jacqui: " Lil I could go on all day. The merch order got fucked up . The new part of the bar top is already falling apart. And why hasn't the Panama City people sent me my check?
Me: LOL. Jac, it's always something!

Jacqui and I could bitch all day. It's part of our repoirtoire ( no clue how to spell this word). The funny part of this conversation, and believe me I wrote the censored version, is that we were speaking about something completely different one minute earlier. We were speaking about being more calm in our lives. Finding peace and happiness instead of getting so wrapped up in all this crap.
So peace and happiness sequed into " the fucking merch company..." Blah Blah Blah I love jacqui. Her with her Italian temper, me with my latin temper seem to get along just great. I can tell stories about the stupid stuff we have done together.
Just a little inside peek at the insanity . I will preface this with I am a very strong business person so is Jacqui. We will work 100 hours a week and make sure everything is in order. But both of us have a little superstitious part to us. If the NY bar has a bad week, Jacqui will burn Sage at the bar to rid the bar of bad energy. When I used to open the NY bar I would lessen their banks on weekends because I thought it was a jinx to put too much money in the registers. I don't do that now in New Orleans, either because I'm not that superstitious anymore or I think the managers will think I'm nuts! We all have our little querks.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

People keep on asking how Chantel did in the bartending competition. When we got to the bar convention , the first round of the competition was underway. We were actually allowed to go in the back room where the judges were. Well the first round of drinks used fruits like Kiwi, star fruits ( I think Carambola ), and other fruit most people don't ever eat and probably don't even recognise. At this point Chantel and I looked at each other and pulled her from the contest. We were laughing because not only does she not make these drinks at Coyote but we had never even heard of these drinks. This whole creation of the chocalate martini, the mojito, star fruit martini, blah blah blah. This is exactly why I opened Coyote, so I didn't have to make all these time consuming fruity drinks. In Italy they asked me if I ever drink any of these concoctions. This is my answer to that: If I am at the beach in the caribean, give me a frozen drink with a straw. I love that. If I am at a mexican restaurant and the host buys me a margerita. Make it the good stuff and I'll drink it. But if I'm at one of my bars only Crown with a soda back. We have our own formula and that formula includes not wasting your time or ours on bullshit drinks. Maybe one day I will open one of these places and I will carry fruits from all over the world. I'll even reinvent the coffee drink with homemade whip cream. But when that happens just know that it is either a straight investment that I don't run or I'm really old and the doctor told me I can only drink cocktails with fruit and fancy straws.

Friday, May 28, 2004

I'm back!! 20 hours to get home from London. I love these places but why can't the technology be there for immediate transport. " Beam me up Scotty.:" Wouldn't that be nice? There was a man on my flight from DC to New Orleans. He sat right next to me and talked the whole time. We had to sit on the plane for 2 extra hours because of weather delays. I wanted to kill myself. The people from Italy had booked me first class to and from New Orleans. Because Jeff made me include London on my trip, I had to change the reservations and go coach. I can't imagine paying first class. So expensive. So I lost my first real chance to go first class. Maybe one day.
This weekend we are having a crawfish boil at the New Orleans bar. We invited the players from The New Orleans Voodoo. A lot of Austin people coming in because the Voodoo are playing the Austin team.
Jacqui called me up pissed today. The day girl called in sick and Jacqui couldn't get anyone else to cover. I started to laugh because that means Jacqui has to work the day shift. I remember those days. Well if anyone goes into the NY bar today buy Jacqui a shot Of Johnny Black. That should keep her going.
Shannon has lost 20 lbs. He's closing in on this bet.
I'll try to post some pics of italy and Tom Jones by Monday.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

"It's not unusual to be loved by anyone" I love Tom Jones!! He was at our hotel bar last night . After a few grappas (which are very disgusting, acquired taste , I guess) I went right up to him and asked if I could have a picture taken with him. He was very cool. When Jeff and I left the bar he actually screamed "Bye Lil." I thought this was odd considering I introduced myself as Liliana. Could it be that Tom Jones knows who I am? Or did he just shorten my name like everyone else does?

Normally I would never go over to someone and ask for a picture but because of this website I feel like it's my job to make sure I get stuff like that. He looks good for his age!

People in the UK and Europe listen up. There is a man named James Little who is pretending to be part of the Coyote Ugly Organization. He has forged papers which he claims I have signed and Disney too. "Can you believe that?" He has actually contacted landlords and breweries claiming to be authorized to open Coyote Uglys in the UK. The last we had heard was that he owed money to people whom (how do I put this nicely?) do not follow the laws provided in the great country of England. These people were actively looking for him and his father. Justice can come in many different ways. Let's see whom prevails?

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

I just landed in London from Italy. Italy was great. The people who hired us were so nice. Thanks Oscar, Sara, Maeba, especially Monica. (everyone) The girls and I had an unbelievable time. One night I ate Pasta. Now for most people that might be a big deal, but I haven't really eaten wheat for 6 years. (I ate a piece of special bread in Dubai, I didn't want to be rude). It was great! DELICIOUS.

Cyndi and Maria have had the time of their lives. Chantel and I have shopped literally until we dropped. One day Chantel and I went into the town of Rimini. We needed to go into a bank and exchange Chantel's travelers checks. First off, the banks have a double door locking system. We were like two idiots trying to figure out how to get into the bank. Chantel kept on saying that the bank was wearing a chastity belt. Well we get into the bank and the cashier won't let Chantel change her checks. She kept on saying that Chantel's signature didn't match her passport. Both of us were getting very pissed. Well 3 banks later and we finally exchanged the travelers checks. OK the big speech. The night before my big speech we went out to dinner with the whole gang. Monica didn't like the idea of my speech favoring so much financial information. So I was totally fucked. God Damn Lee convincing me to write about the economic climate of the last 12 years and the expansion of Coyote. So that night I just reworked some bullet points to make it just fun stories etc. The girls were going to perform during my speech to kind of break up the monotony of the speech. I can't lie I was very nervous. Well it's like the gods sent me an angel! The interpreter showed up 2 minutes before the speech and was so nervous she was floundering. It calmed me down so much because i was trying to calm her down. Because of her nervousness, My speech and the girl's performing got cut down to 25 minutes. "Yes there is a God" Everyone loved the girls I spoke to people one on one afterwards. Excellent. Only a few little mishaps. Chantel was sweating so much I was scared she was going to sweat on the TV Cameras. Maria split her pants from the top of her leg to the bottom. Don't worry I have pictures. What a blast. Now I'm in London, let's see if I can find a spot this time.

Stiffler: Chantel told me that Stiffler has one of those really girly handshakes.. We are going to have to work on that. Now the doosy. His first week at work, he and Kevin have a very important meeting somewhere (stress very important). They get to the airport and Stiffler forgot his identification. Because of this, they both miss their flight. Very nice Stiffler. Kevin's a nice guy, Lee wouldn't of been so nice about it. In fact it was Lee who called me and told me. Til tomorrow. Chow

Friday, May 21, 2004

Yes, I missed my flight today to Milan. I wouldn't technically call it missing it, but I was late and they would not let me on the flight. So I will try again tomorrow. Stiffler. the intern, is getting thrown right in. Kevin has got him doing all kind of things. Stiffler's friends have been e-mailing me. Don't worry guys, if he fucks up I'll write about it. But for his fourth day on the job, he is doing a very good job.
Elijah Woods was at the Austin bar the other night. I heard he had his eyes on Emmy. It was her birthday. She's gorgeous so I can only imagine any red blooded man or woman for that matter would take a liking to her.
2 days til the dreaded speech.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

A lot of very angry responses to the hate mail I posted. I have not lost one second of sleep over the hate mail I receive. Fuck them! Don't come into one of my bars. " anything that does not kill me makes me stronger" So words from assholes simply makes me stronger.
In life we have but one thing to really acheive that encompasses everything, and that is happiness. I love my son, I love my business, I love my life, and I love wiping the floor with all these assholes. That is happiness to me.
Busy , busy , busy. I'm ready for Italy. I'm hoping the Q and A takes up a good 20 minutes. Shannon and Kerry had their modeling debut yesterday. Excellent job. I wonder if modeling is harder then it looks? Now that they are pros I'll ask them. Kerry secretly confided in me that he likes wearing makeup. Sorry Kerry but I have to post that. Love you!
We are closing in on Ft. Lauderdale and Denver. Kevin make it happen

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

All the assholes are coming out of the woodwork now. Let me post the lastest e-mail I received.

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Comments: And tell me how this isn't just a step up from porn. So you realized that alcolhol and pretty, half naked girls, sell-good for you. Maybe you and the founder of girls gone wild can go get a mansion somewhere together. The bar is sick and an exploitation of everything that women are. But as long as your making money, I'm sure nothing will change. Hey, maybe you should put more bars in the midwest, and corrupt middle America while you're at it.

Well I will answer this very simply. Coyote Ugly is about the empowerment of women. If you meet one of the bartenders or even a female regular, you will hear the same thing. How freeeing it is to be a strong, sexy, and a smart woman. And as a woman myself, I am in an industry driven by men. I have a business that is recognized world wide because of my business savy and the dedication of thousands of women under my employment. As the song says "I am woman hear me roar".

Now as far as the last part of the letter, guess what we signed the lease in minnesota!!! So we will be corrupting middle america!! And a little inside scoop, we may be opening in Kansas City too. Husbands lock up your wives! Wives lock up your husbands!! Coyote ugly is coming to corrupt you.

Monday, May 17, 2004

So lee is in New Orleans this week and he was sitting at my house for our weekly conference call. It is funny fighting on the conference call with him, while looking straight at him. Stiffler, the intern, was in on our conference call. I pretty much told kevin get as much work out of him as possible. I love free labor.
I got a letter from Laura in new Orleans that was so long I decided not to post it. The funniest line in the letter said ( and I am paraphrasing) " If I wanted to be a bitch to him, I could of done a much better job." Well that just says it all. Both Laura and Kerry, just grow up!
Tara and Kerry represented us at Myrtle Bike week. I would gage by the 200 hundred calls I got that they had a great time. Tara is in love with Travis Tritt now.
I'm getting ready for my Italy trip. I'm a bit anxious about my speech. I wonder how many people will be there for that. God damn it I got a C in public speaking in college. I will definitely be having a few drinks before that. Jacqui's advice was start off with question and answer time. That should eat up the clock! OK

Saturday, May 15, 2004

LOL I just got the most scathing letter from some jerk. I've got to post it , it's that funny.

Wow, I just watched the "Behind the Real Coyote Ugly" on CMT and all I can say is 'how dare you?!?!?' This concept (both show and bar) is an insult wrapped in misogyny wrapped in a tasteless reality-show-slash-info-mercial
candy coating, I am moved to actually taking this beast to task.

I'm a performing & touring musician, I was in town playing a
regular gig just doors away during the time of Coyote Ugly's formation, and I watched with awe at the creepy star-f*ing status that the crew (and pretty much any idiots with a couple PD-150s) created. I've actually set foot in the place since it's opened and I swear to God it creeped me out - and I've seen it ALL. I tried to have an open mind, but $4 for a watery Coke and the flea market atmosphere have made an enemy of me. The club is a mullet haven where uneducated girls (who are mostly too homely to be strippers) are nonetheless lewdly ogled by the patrons while dancing like trained seals and shilling expensive booze for the profit of the owners.

I was downright offended by the Reagan-era conscious-less-ness of this place's owners & operators. This "reality show" deified the choreographer (a mean fat poodle look-alike) and the owner (a '6' in '10''s clothing with square aftermarket boobs), who are both nasty little excuses for humans and businesswomen. I'm snot-slingin' mad here, I'm taking these shots because apparently no one at the establishment has the gall or intelligence to.

Congratulations though, the pairing of CMT & C.U. is perfect for the working-class-double-digit-I.Q.-ask-no-questions types that frequent both the club and the network. Shame on you for keeping the attention of those sheep with a little cleavage while raping and robbing them of a few bucks. Coyote Ugly is the worst of the flesh trades: they took the food out of Hooters and put clothes on the strippers -- and now they're just selling booze to a bunch of retards. I want to like it, I love seeing attractive women take bad jobs as much as the next American male, I hit the occasional strip club, but this is just somehow detestable.

Coyote Ugly doesn't belong in Austin, and especially not on 6th street -- how about moving to Nashville? Apparently you can do anything awful to anyone there so long as you smile and have drinks afterward. Austin's soul is already reeling from vampires like Coyote Ugly, CMT, and Pat Green. Please go away, we don't want you here.

Troy.

Musician/human/Austinite

That is classic. I love that he signed the letter "Musician/HUMAN? Austinite." Perhaps our little friend here needs a little love. I'm sure this guy does hate Coyote and let me guess he just happens to hate most woman? Just a guess. Now I'm not calling him gay, because I don't know him. But my degree in psychology tells me that his mother did a few horrible things to him and now he is more comfortable with 15 year old boys. But that's a lay person's opinion.

OK this is Kerry's side:
Comments: "Ok, short i didn't pee on nobody car,she didn't see me do it and i have two bouncer who can back me up. but i did throw my beer on her tire.i asked her three time nice and she wanted to be a bitch,so i wanted to piss her off like she did my bouncers.and i would do it again if it came down to it ,but she will never park up front if i'm working.Any way i'm in Myrtle beach with tara,and loving it i love working for coyote,and lil.All i need is 20min.(joking) i love lil.......... love huges and kisses NEW ORLEANS #1 bouncer Kerry "
If I can get Laura's version I will update this blog

Thursday, May 13, 2004

So Kerry was upset about what I wrote the other day. He claims that is not the true story. So all I can say to you Kerry is write in. You write your side of the story. Laura can write hers. And I will post both of them.
There is a regular from NY who e-mails me once in a while. Well this week he seems to have figured out a way to write me from his cell phone. he now gives me moment by moment updates on how many body shots the girls have sold etc. He said that Kim, the assistant manager, was not happy with him. No ReallY? I can't imagine why. Don't worry Kim, I've got your back!
I will never forget the first girl I fired for being too stupid. ( no I didn't tell her that). She would put an upside down shot glass in front of a customer during happy hour. This was supposed to notify her that their next drink was for free. ( 2 for 1 happy hour). So when she gave them their free drink she would move the shot glass back to the drink rail. The customers would wait until she was at the other end of the bar and simply take the shot glass and move it back in front of them. I told her not to do this but she just couldn't get why. The final straw was during her second shift. A regular Chris was in and he was speaking with her. ( she was a 6ft tal blond bombshell) She said to him " do you come here a lot ? " He said " I come here so much I even get my mail here." Yes she believed him. That was her last shift. I remember calling Tony and saying " you know that unbelievably gorgeous girl I hired? Well I hope you said your goodbyes because I had to fire her for being too dumb."
For anyone who thinks I am mean, let me say one thing. This is a cash business!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Who knew that the giant squid was such a hot topic? But today because it is fresh in my mind, I will write about " The Shenis" A few months ago Chantel calls me to tell me a funny story that happened at the New Orleans bar. During the daytime a woman came in asking to speak with one of the managers. She claimed to be a registered nurse and wanted to show the managers her revolutionary invention. Out of sheer curiosity, Chantel and Aaron agreed to a meeting with her. Well it seems her revolutionary idea is called " The Shenis" . " The Shenis" is a tool to help women pee standing up. Real " Revolutionary" It came in a few models , basically looking like a dildo. One of the models is even created so you can walk and pee. When Chantel told me this story we were laughing so hard. Little did I know, only a few months later, that the " shenis" would be a part of our little show. The " Shenis" has been used to deliver a million penalty shots.( $10) That's the beauty of Coyote. The ingenuity of the girls has turned this peeing machine into a tool to create more revenue for the bar. I love that!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

My thanks to everyone for explaining to me the life cycles and simple facts about beta fish. (You know they can actually breathe air). I just received this e-mail:
"Comments: If Jackson is into giant squid, there is a feature on the Discovery Planet called Animal Faceoff; they create models of animals and simulate what would happen if they fought.
There is going to be a mock up of a fight between a Giant Squid and a Sperm Whale on their show sometime in June."

Lee and kevin are constantly talking about animals fighting each other in the wild. Of course I will watch a simulated fight between a giant squid and a sperm whale, but all the experts say that there is no contest. The sperm whale would win.

What's new in the world of Coyote Ugly this week...

NY: Huge fight at the bar on Sunday night. There are so few fights at the NY bar I was shocked at the damage that was incurred. We had to replace the whole jukebox . Jacqui was definitely both pissed off and shaken by this.

New Orleans: A bunch of new trainees have been working. Popsicle bought some of the girls Roses. I even got a few. The bouncers have lost their off time drinking priviliges. It seems that Kerry got drunk and peed on Laura's car. Probably the last straw with Aaron.

Austin: the girl's had a photoshoot yesterday. I heard it went very well. Congratulations to Esther for graduating!!! Marshall told me that this past weekend they found three different female couples having sex in the bathroom. Must be something in the air.

[Lil & John]Spoke with John Cestare (licensee) yesterday on a conference call. Jeff (my lawyer) and he were screaming at each other. It was actually funny because I'm usually the bad guy. I actually stopped the conference call and told Jeff to chill out. You have to understand Jeff. He may be a lawyer but he is pretty laid back and is very much a cool, composed character. After I spoke with Jeff I called John back. "John, look. We have been in business together for a couple of years now and it's always the same crap. "It's in the mail" or "I sent it yesterday, is starting to really wear on Jeff." I expected for John to be all riled up and bitch my ear off about Jeff. You know what he said? "Don't worry, Lil. Jeff and I always speak to each other like that. I love Jeff." Hysterical!

Lee is trying to get something going with these people in Hawaii. Narrowing down in Ft. Lauderdale. And Minnesota is still not signed. Doug S. if you read this for god sakes get this lease done!!!

That's it.



Monday, May 10, 2004

[andrew]

This is Andrew, director of operations for Coyote Ugly Panama City. Clocked by a Coyote (just an accident, of course).

Sunday, May 09, 2004

I just lost my whole Lil Spill. Can someone remind me if I ever spoke about the "Shenis"? This is some funny shit.

[The Shenis]So Marshall's ex-girlfriend has been in town. It's been 2 years and I swear she seemed suicidal. I tried to lighten the situation by saying to her that Saturday we would have a special promotion called "Marshall Bashing Day". I told Marshall about it. All he said was "Well if you are going to have Marshall Bashing Day, make sure to really publicize it because there will be a line around the block." That's what I love about him, he sacrifices for the sake of the business.

Jackson and I had a very nice day. We looked for movies about giant squid, his new obsession. I love my son, he is so funny.

So yesterday I got my tarot cards read. I swear I get the same reading every time. Do I believe? When it's good, I believe. When it sucks, I don't.

This guy told me that business was going very well and not to let jealous competitors stand in my way. (So far so good) He told me that I would be heading to Europe within 3 weeks (wow my Italy trip is soon). He told me that I was a warrior/soldier in a lot of past lives and this life I am trying to be more peaceful. (OK I'm digging this so far). He said that Jackson was my father in a past life and that he chose to come back as my son because he felt safety with me. (kind of cool, you all know how much I love my son, so maybe there is a stronger karmic connection). Now the part that always sucks. I asked the dreaded love life question. Well the good news is that I have a soul mate. The bad news is I haven't met him yet. So of course, I fall into the trap. "When will I meet this soul mate?" To that question he responded with "in the fall." "Really, this fall?" " Sorry honey I don't know if it's this fall or some other fall" Well that's fucking great. His ending sentence to me was, "I like to give Hope. Not False Hope."

Oh people don't feel sorry for me. I've got a few options in case the tarot card reader isn't right.

A few people have told me that they miss Lee and I fighting. If anyone that is friends with him reads this and wants to get under his skin. All you need to say is "Valentine's Day Promotion" That should get a good rise out of him.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

I just got a letter saying that this particular person hated that I "badmouthed bartending". What in these Lil Spill's could possibly be construed as hating bartending? If this is about yesterdays editorial on the Coyote Hunt held in New Orleans you obviously misread my piece. People in new cities constantly tell me that the girls are not real bartenders they are dancers etc. I tell these people that the girls are real bartenders and that their first priority is for service over performance on the bar. I have been bartending since I was 17 years old. ( a hundred years ago) I take my profession very seriously. And I thank god everyday that I made enough money not only to support myself but to help finance my business. I love these girls and I have the utmost respect for them. Being a Coyote is a lot harder then a regular bartending job.
( unusual part of the letter is that she also complimented me on my writing style. That's a first!)
Now something weird happened today. Jackson and I woke up today and we were short one Beta fish. We have three small tanks ( can't stick them together or they kill each other) So we go to feed the fish and one is missing. Not dead ( well probably dead) just gone. I am totally freaked out about it. We don't have a cat, no mice. Where the fuck did the fish go? Jackson thinks it's like Nemo and the fish went back to the ocean. Well unfortunately I don't have the luxury of believing that. WEIRD!

Friday, May 07, 2004

[Vote for Kyshawn!]One of the Las Vegas Coyotes is in a contest with Smooth Magazine. Her name is Kyshawn. She is hot. You've got to vote for her and put her over the top!!

Last night we had a girl hunt at the New Orleans bar. Some of these contestants were hysterical. Every job application was the same: "I want this job because I love to dance and have fun. "

This is what I'm looking for: "I want this job because I am a great bartender and I would love to work at a bar of this calibre." or "I simply need a job." That's honest. If I was one of these girls my application would say, "I can't dance, I can't sing. But I'm a salesman by nature and I am a very strong bartender. Plus I need a job." The girls don't understand but bartenders will always have an advantage over the other girls. This one little girl whom we picked, Skye, she was a riot. This girl is probably in her early 20's, stick thin, with little blond pick tails. Her attire was early sex pistols yet I saw no tattoos or no great amounts of piercings. She was great. I leaned over to Chantel right away and said she's in. I love different girls. I love girls who have their own persona. There were two players from the New Orleans Voodoo who participated with us. They were loving this.

Now the other side of the gamut was quite different. Shit, if I say what I want to say, my lawyers will be down my throat. I will try and word this very cautiously. If you are going to try out for a position at Coyote Ugly, show up with some makeup on. Do your fucking hair. Get in shape!!

Now about Danisha. She is already a Coyote at the New Orleans bar. I love her . I'm going to ask Jacqui to take her under her wing and teach her some of the newer dances. She definitely has star appeal. Andrea was at the bar absolutely hammered. It took everything I had to convince her that we couldn't be together. "Lil, I know I'm drunk, but I made a lot of sales this afternoon. By the way, you know I want you, come on!" Well Andrea I'm sure there would be people waiting in line to simply see us makeout but I am going to have to decline. No fraternization rule, sorry.

Now the three way bet. Between Shannon and myself: he has to lose 60 pounds by August 7th. If he wins I fly him to New York. I actually don't remember what I get if he loses.

Between Jacob and myself: He has to have a six pack by July 28th. If he loses he will have to wear a tutu to work (as bouncer) for one whole week. And we are still negotiating the if he wins part. I think he wants a trip to NY with Shannon. I'm genuinely rooting for Shannon but I definitely want Jacob to go down. He's too cocky about it. Too bad there is a no fraternizing rule between the bartenders and the bouncers. I swear that Jacob and Tara are made for each other.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

So yesterday Jackson and I get to the airport, all our crap in tow, and low and behold they fucked up our reservations. So today is the premiere of Tony's movie at the Tribeca film festival and I'm going to miss it. Big pre and post party. Scott Speedman and maybe James Marsden are going to be there. If you don't know their names, Scott was in "Underworld" and James was in "X-men". I've seen the footage from the movie and James Marsden is so handsome. For you men out there, Sofia Vergara is in the movie as well. The movie actually opens in the theatres (big cities) on May 14th. The movie is called " The 24th Day" I will get a link up when I know it.

So Andrea, a bartender from New Orleans, tells me that she had words with one of her professors. "My boss can't write and look how successful she is." This is actually starting to hurt my feelings. I know I can't write! Either can my ex-husband but he seems to have made a career of it. Tonight is a mini girl search in New orleans so I am going to help Chantel run it. I hope we get some good girls.

Happy One Year anniversary in Tampa!!! Have fun.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

So we are having a professional model photoshoot next week for the merchandise. I have real models for the women's items. But for the male items I asked 2 of my bouncers to model, Kerry and Shannon. "Shannon!! No crispy creams for 1 week!!!" I love my New Orleans bouncers but there is a box of crispy cream donuts or chicken wings by their side at all times. Drives me nuts. Customers bring them food as presents. Shannon is such a good looking guy. I swear he goes up and down 20 pounds every week. Travis, I don't even want to talk about him. You know what? He knows he's got a pretty face and some charisma so he figures he can get away with a few extra pounds. "Don't think I won't ask your little ladies to cut you off so you can lose a few pounds!"
Travis and Jacob came to the opening of Panama City with me. Travis is just one of those guys with such a magnetic personality that he can do what he wants and women are attracted to him. Jacob, cage fighter, is very sexy but I can already see him picking up these bad habits. "Jacob don't do it!! don't fall victim to their evil ways."
I'll be in the New York bar on Thursday night. Hello Maria and Kristy!!!

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

I came home to over 500 e-mails. It's taken me two days but I think I went through them all. I want to commend the girls from the NY and New Orleans bars. I have received so many complimentary e-mails about you guys lately. I love that!! Austin girls you guys are a close third for positive e-mails. Interesting that those bars are the ones I run day to day. Did I tell you guys how much I love my managers , my girls, and my entire staff. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel when I hear such good things about my bars.
I spoke to Jacqui yesterday about how the Panama city opening went. I really have grown to love all of these girls. Both of us love the interaction with these girls from all over the country. Whether they be from my personal Coyotes or a licensed Coyote, I wish them all the best.
One of my licensees John C. asked why I never write about him. Well here it goes John. "You left a message last night at 1am. In this message it bitched about why I haven't returned your calls. If you really wanted to speak with me perhaps call at a descent hour. At 1 am I am either at home with my son or at one of the bars and can not hear the phone." Just to explain about John. We have a very tumoultuos relationship. He can be such a pain in the ass. I'm sure he will say the same about me. But the funny thing is, for all his bitching and the weasely things he pulls. I am amused by him. He was very hostile to me right before the Boston opening. When I showed up the look on his face was definitely not happy. But after a couple of shots we ended up laughing and having a good time. " Oh John we are in it for the long haul so we'll have to make peace at some point."

Monday, May 03, 2004

Last night at the Panama City Coyote, the night ended with Donna, the GM of Atlanta, rubbing my feet. She claimed she learned her technique from a few
korean women where she gets pedicures. Well they taught you well, Miss Donna.
Panama City went very well. Those girls tried so hard. Putting in 16 hours a day for the opening weekend. My compliments to the Atlanta girls, Natasha, Danielle, and Alejandra. Phenomenal job. Jacqui would be proud of you girls. Now the one I have to compliment the most is my very own New Orleans Veronica. 3 nights and no crazy antics. She was a consumate professional. I had already put together apologies in case she got a little too wild. Just so you understand what I am dealing with, Veronica appeared on the show "Elimidate". If you have seen it you'll understand my fears. But I absolutely love Veronica and she did great. Thanks to two of my New Orleans bouncers, Travis and Jacob. They came to just have fun and ended up working all weekend. (As per usual , Travis was showing up all the girls. I keep telling Jacqui that he should be a dance captain. He knows the routines better then the girls. In New Orleans he will stop traffic on the street when Devil comes on. " Sorry Travis that I can't allow you to dance on the bar.")
This weekend was Panama City bike week. Well if you stepped foot in the bar it was like walking into an episode of "Smokey and the Bandit." I actually saw this 50 year old biker smoke a cigarette using a fork. Fucking hilarious. Some fucking hot ass bikes!! Last night this 40 year old biker dude comes up to me and orders a Pina Colada. I said to him " You should be ashamed of yourself. Just for that you better buy yourself and me a shot of Crown so I won't talk!" People coming up to me all weekend. "Oh my god it's you, LIL! You're a celebrity." What the fuck is going on with the planet when owning a bunch of bars makes you a celebrity. Last year I bet Jesse James that I would be on the cover of Fortune Small Business in 2 years. (This bet was after he called me to tell me he was on the cover) I'm trying. I can't lie, that would be a great moment in my life, if I made the cover of such a prestigious business magazine. In about 7 months, I'll have to go to the backup plan. Sleep with one of the editors. Goodnight for now.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

I'm in Panama City. The bar has been very packed for the last 2 days, since opening. I am speechless at the stupidity and rudenss of some people. This couple comes up to me last night. They begin to tell me how they own a bar somewhere in Illinois. First they asked me if they could buy a franchise. I said that I no longer franchised. I told them that except for a few older contracts all the new Coyotes will be mine. Well they proceed to tell me that they are ripping me off at their bar in Illinois. So that's not the kicker. The kicker is that they would like advice from me on how to make their bar more successful. So I said " Let me get this straight you want me to give you advice on how to steal from me. What are you on crack?" So the woman proceeds to tell me that I am rude for not helping them out. The man then says please help us. Part of me was so astounded by their sheer stupidity and rudeness. So my advice was " get out of my face before I lose my sense of humor."
Dawn from Panama City is hauling ass. Amber putting in 16 hour shifts. Excellent. Ester from Austin has officially been dethroned as worst dancer. There is a girl here who is so bad I actually thought she was joking. Thank god she is goodlooking. These girls are trying so hard, I am so proud of them.
So it looks like I may be going to Tokyo. We'll kick ass over there. Big meeting next week about it. Looks like San Antonio will open on July 28th. I am so excited about that particular site. OK, I'm fucking tired and I need to get back inside and work.

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