Past Lil Spills

Liliana Lovell, Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

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October 28, 2013

Trying to scramble and get work done. Todays text messages
Daniel ” my mom has a bad feeling about Nepal”
Me ” of course she does . She will be pissed if she just bought a house in Austin and something happens to you.”
Kevin ” I plan on lighting Daniel on fire for warmth and he will be the first one eaten in a life and death scenario”
Me ” tell your mom that the positive thing about something happening to you is that your youngest brother will then have a chance at being normal”
Daniel ” you are terrible people”

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October 27, 2013

14 years ago today the best thing in my life arrived! Jackson is 14 today. Time flies. ( the first 4 years seemed like eternity but after year 4 the time flew). I am so thankful for him. He gives me purpose in life. He is truly unique. Intensely intelligent. Such a dry sense of humor that not all people get it. Joyful at the little things. He’s growing up into a complex young man.
Yesterday Jackson invited a friend over and I was asked to stay in my room while they played video games. I thought I was the cool mom? LOL Today we are going to a soup kitchen to view socio cultural trends for a school project. Be interesting to see what he sees.
I am grateful to Tommy today. Yesterday he played a prank on Daniel that had Daniel freaking out for a few minutes. Tommy told Daniel that an investor came into the Key West bar. The rest of the prank involved confidencial business documents. Daniel was freaking out! He bought it hook , line, and sinker. Priceless.

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October 25, 2013

I just got the medical supply kit for my trip minus the tactical weapons that Chantel’s husband recommended. ” Chantel, he can’t be serious?” Well low and behold I think he was serious but I opted not to bring weapons through airport customs. LOL
Me ” Supposedly Juliet Prowse slept with Elvis Presley under his grand piano.”
Friend. ” You know he had shag runs every where. she must of gotten serious rug burn.”
Me ” Fuck I have rug burn from running with my back pack. I want rug burn from sex under a piano on shag rug.”
Friend ” Millions of women have had rug burn from sex but not many women have gotten rug burn from training for an ultra marathon in Nepal.”
Me. ” while a very moving and concise soliloquy I still like the grand piano version better.”
Key West why don’t I have the manager’s LOG?
Today I am giving thanks to Lee. He drives me crazy and we fight all the time but he is a true artist at heart. I love his dedication to making all of our work so visually appealing. He has been working on some new business cards and a presentation we need to make. The care and attention to detail is so inspiring.

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October 24, 2013

Talk about grumpy!! Jackson has very few jobs but he has to walk Bonnie in the morning. This morning he takes her out and comes back and she then goes to the bathroom on the floor. ” mom she didnt want to walk.” That just set the tone for my morning. I went to the park, jogged 1 minute , stopped and got back in my car. Then I made the mistake of reading the manager’s logs. Milwaukee and New Orleans were pitiful. Now I have to get ready to go to the dentist. I hate the dentist!! Oh and I got an email from Jockey saying that they canceled my order for Nepal. Oh god I am pissy today!! OK in the spirit of rejuvenation and extreme hope, I am grateful today for Lizzie. It’s so nice that Lizzie always helps out when we need her. She is a kind generous person and we are a better company with her in it.
Happy Birthday Daniel

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October 22, 2013

So far not the numbers I was hoping for during Fantasy fest in Key West. Today I had a call about next year’s marketing for Fantasy fest. Lee was asking what the demographic was. My response ” take the older bikers that go to Sturgis and picture them naked.” That’s it. The demographic skews in to 50s and 60s. No fear of body image or correctional officers. I hope I am cool enough with myself that at 60 I say to my husband ” honey lets only wear thongs, go out and get shit faced on Duval St.” It’s not just the women either. The men go out full frontal nudity as well. On that note my son and his best friend asked to watch the original Carrie with me on Saturday. I had NO recollection that in the original Carrie the first scene is post girls’ volleyball game in the female locker room. Full nudity. 70’s/80’s bush and all. So embarrassing trying to grab the remote and fast forward with two 13 year old boys. How was that allowed in theaters back then?
Who knew you have to sit and get tested on the diseases of Nepal when getting vaccinations. I got Hep A , Hep B, Typhoid, and Japanese Encephitis shots today. I was given Malaria pills, elevation sickness pills, and travelers illness pills. So many choices. “Miss Lovell you may get Rabies, do you want the vaccine?” I declined the rabies injections. I will definitely be pissed if I get bitten by some stray dog while there. What’s the bet that even though it’s through our great company Coyote Ugly that we are going on this trip, Kevin does not bring any logo embroidered shirts or jackets? That will just piss me off! Peace and tranquility. Today I am thankful to Jasmine from Denver. She does such a wonderful job as AM in Denver and she loves her daughter. Just a good person.

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October 20, 2013

Redbull has paid for Daniel, Kevin, and myself to go to Nepal for this race. My equipment has just started coming in for the race. I am spending a lot more then I have been alotted. Urgh. There are the obvious purchases involving cold weather running gear, new shoes, a sleeping bag. But yesterday I recieved my solar charger and my solar charged head lamp. I am awaiting my medical kit, my polartek mid level running pants, salt tablets, water purification kit. This is costing a fortune! We are getting one satelite phone to share between the three of us. Daniel is starting to freak today since he hasn’t ordered anything. But at least he in a city that has a REI Store. Today I went running in my backpack and thermal compression pants. Jackson gave me a look that said “please do not make me run with you if you put the gas mask on “. LOL. On another note! bam Miami, gm Nashville, is a crossfit monster. I want to sponser her for the crossfit games in the spring. Go Miami!!! I love that. ( I need to get her to do the next triathlon in March)
DENVER is on fire!!!! Take no prisoners!
On a pathetic note. My beagle Bonnie isn’t bright. Every day I take her on 4-5 walks. On every walk if I am not paying attention she will stick her head through a fence. I then have to get my hands around her neck to Jimmy her out. This happens multiple times a day. Not the brightest dog. But I swear she’s pissed at me for getting her out. I think she thinks she will get through to the other side.photo-1
photo-6Tough mudder tahoe

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October 20, 2013

Yesterday a bunch of us were resistered for the Lake Mead Triathlon. Chantel and I dropped out so we could head home and see our kids after a long week away. Daniel, Mac, and Tommy still competed. I received a very upset text from Daniel because he and another competitor had found a man in the water nonresponsive. They held the man up for what seemed like an eternity before a rescuer came to help get him out of the water. I just read on line that the man died. So sad. Patrick Hayden. He was a former high school principle and an avid swimmer. Daniel is definitely shaken up very similarly to how Chantel felt when she saw the woman stop breathing at our last triathlon. It may just have been his time. He was there with his family. Hopefully he died knowing he was loved .

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October 19, 2013

What an incredible seminar. Daniel, Tommy, Lee, Chantel, Marsha, and all the other managers did an excellent job. I learned so much. There was one point that Tommy was giving an excel tutorial and I realized that for years I have been doing the equations the tedious way. Of course Chantel speaks up ” Lil taught me how to do it so I have been doing it the long way for 12 years.” Lol Well it might be the long way but at least it wasn’t the wrong way. We cover so much in these seminars. Back of the house, quickbooks . Legal. Human Resources. Training. Analysing P and Ls. Really its so much information. I always laugh at some of the topics brought up by the managers. ” If a person brings in a dog that has a vest that says Human Support Dog can they come in?” ” If a transvestite walks in and wants the specialty pricing for ladies night, is that allowed?” Lol
Lee arranged two liquor and beer education classes. The liquor class was taught by Francesco La Franconi. This man is considered the number one mixologist in the world. We learned so much. We sampled twenty different spirits. Really fun and educational. The beer knowledge class was taught by Sam Merritt. He is a world famous Ciserone ( beer sommalier). OMG he is funny as hell. He taught us about beer giving us some high end samples. What a cool person. As we are learning about a french ale/cider he is talking about drinking Pabst Blue ribbon at a tailgate party.( A bit of a side note. Tahnee ( gm NY) told us that mixing a shot of George Dickle into a cider is called a Dick in Cider. Very nice Tahnee!.) When I download my pictures and videos I will start posting them. Great job everyone!

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October 16, 2013

In Vegas for our annual Coyote Ugly managers seminar. Last night we had our first exercise. Interesting what they come up with today about last night’s observations. 17 female managers here and 6 male managers. It’s been a while since the women outnumbered the men! I am taking all the woman out for wine. Tonight. Today will be a long day of accounting, human resources, and legal workshops. But I am excited. I learn a lot as well.
Now let me talk about the gorgeous creature I helped find the gym. I was going to the gym this morning and this man asked me to show him the way. Think of Ryan Philippe add 5 years about 4 inches and bigger shoulders. As he spoke I realized I was giggling. Really? Is this a time warp and I am 16? Lol. Well good motivation to run faster on the treadmill. Ok off to work.

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October 12, 2013

What’s worse, running a half marathon when you feel like crap or walking into Saks and asking for the gas masks you left there?
Well on a good note I ran the first 6 miles incredibly well for me. Then last night’s steak, sweet potatoes, chocolate and wine were spinning round. I did the first 3 miles in 27 minutes. Pretty good for me since I am slow. I got to 6 miles in 57 minutes again pretty solid . Even mile 7 was good hitting it at 1:07. But at mile 8 the ab cramps from eating too much and exercising set in. I finished the race in 2:18 minutes , 8 minutes more then what I was hoping. Lesson learned don’t go to Morton’s with Judy the night before a race.
Saks:
Me:” excuse me I left a bag here.”
Male employee:” oh it was unusual what we found in the bag so we stored it in the office.
Me: ” I know it must of seemed strange to see a bag with two gas masks.”
Male emplyee: ” I would never ask about the personal lives of our customers .”
All of a sudden it hit me. He didn’t think I was a terrorist, he thought this was a sexual sadist thing. 1 gas mask might of been suspicious but 2 gas masks well that’s an orgy in the making.
Amber’s wedding tomorrow!

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October 11, 2013

It’s always Chantel! So yet again I am signed up for a race. Doing the Jazz half marathon tomorrow. Well after her and I met and picked up our race packets I took a detour. I stopped at Canal Shops and went shopping then low and behold Judy was available to hang out. I just drank three wines, ate a steak, had sweet potato au gratin, and had Chocolate mouse. I feel like complete crap. I am supposed to run the half marathon with my backpack on and a gas mask ( train for Nepal). ( by the way sorry Joe, Chantel’s Swat Team husband, I left the gas masks at Saks. OMG they must of thought it was some kind of terrorist thing. But they called me to verify that they had them)” Really what the fuck. I am an idiot! ” Hi I am here to pick up my two gas masks. Yes that’s right two. I wanted to wear them both out and see which one fit best.” OMG I am going to sound like a psycho tomoorow.
I would be shocked if I actually ran the whole thing tomorrow. I feel Like Chunk from the movie Goonies! Tomorrow will suck. I will finish but damn if I run the whole thing then I am super human because my full fat ass doesn’t want to do anything. But it’s for Children’s hospital so walk or run it’s for a good cause! ( my god that chocolate mouse was good)
kudos to Denver. Just got your P and L. Good job!!!

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October 11, 2013

There will be no mother of the year award today. Jackson’s school trip was today. Last night he was so worried we would be late. Pestering me ” mom I want to be there by 6:30 am.” Of course I said. This morning, I couldn’t find my keys. His sleeping bag was locked in the car. Had to call someone to pick him up. I will say this, while I could tell Jackson was very concerned , he never lost his cool. I had to call the school and ask them to rent him a sleeping bag. The middle school representative started laughing. ” I remember those mornings. God I am glad my kids are older.” Oh well I fucked up.
Haven’t checked the logs in a few days. Next week is the manager’s seminar. Should be very positive.

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October 8, 2013

image
Got my camelbak backpack that I have to start training with. Got my thermal compression pants ! Nepal is only a month away, getting ready.
Very positive day at work. Things are coming together on many fronts.
I need a bit of a Spanish refresher class. I received an email from the people in Mexico in Spanish. It took me three tries to translate it properly .

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October 7, 2013

Beer pong is not my forte. One of the potential licensees challenged me to a beer pong game. Let’s just say that I did not win. Loved bands playing in the patio.
Going to miss fantasy fest this year. Heading home today. Can’t wait to crawl in my bed.

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October 6, 2013

1 year anniversary party in Key West. I flew straight here from San Diego so lets just say my wardrobe reflected the cool weather of SD. Heading to anniversary party in combat boots!! My attitude is that I am so cool, I can easily pull it off!
KW assistant manager quit yesterday. Our new GM expects results and hard work. When we brought Beto to KW I said to Daniel ” how much do you want to bet that The AM quits because he will actually have to work hard ! Lol
Ok let’s do this thing! Go Saints
Had a meeting this morning with a group out of Mexico City. Their version of Bike night involves driving your Harley to a bar but having your chauffeur bring your Mercedes to drive you home. Latin flair to bike night

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October 3, 2013

Holla! I better go play lotto things are looking good. I think we nailed the San Diego deal! We booked our trip to Nepal! And I just got a perk at the hotel in La Jolla. My son, myself, and my son’s dad have interviews at a private high school in San Diego. I took an early morning flight while my son and his dad are catching a later flight. At check in they give a complimentary bottle of wine. They asked what kind of wine does my son’s dad drink for when he checks into his room ? I replied ” no he doesn’t drink.” Bam I get his bottle! Not like I am going to drink two bottles of wine but I enjoy knowing I received the perk. ” yeah yeah yeah, I know you don’t drink. You are so much better then me.” That’s my response to my ex husband when he comments on the two bottles of wine.
Jackson is convinced that I will screw up the interview before his dad will. I will try not to curse and keep my answers short. I can’t screw up that badly.

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October 2, 2013

” Lil, I nailed all the negotiation points on that contract I have been working on!” ” Awesome Daniel. Is there a reason why you thought it prudent to call me at 3:20 AM to talk about this? ”
While I am happy that he just saved the company a lot of money, everyone knows I am the loser who goes to bed early. 3 am calls are reserved for fires and emergencies. Come on!!
He did get us this cool pulse feature that I love.
It is a busy day today in Coyote Land! Making miracles happen!
I have Lizzie choreographing a new dance for us. Its not that easy to make changes when we all work in different cities.
Kevin Bailey decided to take training for this Nepal race seriously. This is his answer to training for high elevations.
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October 1, 2013

Saint 4-0!!!! Jazz got us killer seats. Chantel and I had a great time. Supposedly we were on tv for a second. The duck dynasty guy got to watch the game on the field. Really? I need another show so I can get on the field.
imagephoto-6

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