Past Lil Spills

Liliana Lovell, Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

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September 30, 2013

Well happy day is over. I was sent the flyer for one of our upcoming anniversary parties. Let’s just say that I was disgusted by the image used in this flyer. I haven’t micromanged Lee in years with our ad images. let’s say we have had words and none of them flattering. I AM FUCKING DISGUSTED!!! 10 years . He knows the image I want for Coyote. trust is now gone, yet again.

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September 29, 2013

While I was nestled all snug in my bed I received this video from the New Orleans bar.


I am in my living room jumping up and down!!! I finsihed 115th overall in today’s triathlon. While that doesn’t seem good to most people I am super pleased. I rocked the bike today!!! Jackson thinks I am nuts because I am so happy about 115th.
Chantel came to the finsih line crying. We were all so worried. While she was running she saw a woman collapse and have a heart attack. The woman wasn’t breathing and Chantel had to find someone to call an ambulance. Chantel was really out of sorts. She found out later that they were able to revive the woman. Thank god. Chantel said the woman was very overweight. You have one body and you need to take care of it!

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September 28, 2013

Dinesti ( Nashville Head Bartender) is so funny. Her log read ” Zac Brown is ruining my life today” . Damn concerts . The bars always clear out when there is a big concert in town. Very low key weekend for me and the kid. My friend Dora said to me ” you have to read the book “Ask and You Shall Receive.” I thought about this concept of asking and receiving what you want. I decided to take it one step further and I bought some things that made it very clear what I wanted to receive from the universe. Done deal!
” Lil what better way to ring in your birthday then an early morning triathlon.” Chantel is going to be the death of me. In the next three weeks we are supposed to do two triathlons and a half marathon. ” I love you Chantel but this is putting a bit of a damper on my personal life. Fine I will do the mini triathlon tomorrow but just know that we are going to see the Saints on Monday night and I plan on having some drinks!”

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September 27, 2013

Wow a powerful day at work. My phone started ringing at 7:30 am. Kevin’s to do list is “the Sans”, San Juan, San Diego, San Antonio. Daniel; NY, Key West, Vegas. Lee; Singapore, Phoneix, Dallas. Chantel; Dallas, Phoenix, Key West. I am trying to figure out my schedule. I have San Diego, Key West this week. Next week Charlotte straight to Vegas. Things are getting very busy! I love being busy!!!
Lizzie choreographed a new song for us! Jackson came in second yesterday in his cross country race out of 50 kids. 2 miles at 13 minutes 16 seconds. Everything is very positive right now.
Daniel, Kevin, and I have been accepted into the Nepal race, http://www.manaslutrailrace.com . I was doing 15- 20 miles a week running then adding on to that I would swim and bike to train for the triathlons. This week I have gone up to 30 miles running . I need to up my game. My mid life crisis is killing me and my close friends. But I am so happy that my dear friends are accompanying me on this crazy journey. I went to get a massage this week. The woman said ” ma’am you have an awful lot of bruises.” THE FUCKING BIKE! lol
Just to add humor; when I went to Key west last weekend it was for fun. Of course I met with the managers and visited the bar but I spent most of my time with my friend drinking mojitos. She called it Lilfest 2013. I have been to KW a million times but I had never gone to the beach. I went to the beach with my friend on Sunday. Sunday night and Monday night I was so itchy that I went to urgent care. The doctor said ” have you been to the beach?” yes. ” well you are having an allergic reaction to sand fleas.” Oh brother. Got a shot in the butt and now I am fine.

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September 25, 2013

Thank god for San Antonio and NYC, the bars did horribly last night. San Juan and San Diego are so close that my spanish is getting better and my need to go around a big zoo is increasing. ” Mom I have a vocabulary test and I don’t know what these are; wool, silk, corduroy, and play ed.” Shit a mother’s job is never done. I guess that’s my fault for not talking about clothes more. But what’s play-ed? ” mom its spelled plaid”. Shit ” Jackson in the real world a man never never needs to know corduroy. And plaid is a preppy pattern, I have two plaid skirts.”oh brother.
One of my trainers told me today that I was very hard because of my type A personality. I said in a joking manner ” must be hard being my friend.” She agreed. That has plagued me all day. ” well my friends went to a strip club with me a few days ago and bought me a lap dance. I don’t think they think its hard being my friend.”

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September 24, 2013

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September 22, 2013

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Yes Kevin is completely insane .

We have decided to do the Manaslu Trail race. Right now its Kevin, Daniel, and myself. While unbelievably hard on the body, I bet it’s going to be a magical experience in Nepal.
The Nashville girls did a 5k obstacle run yesterday! The whole company is getting fit. So proud f them

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September 21, 2013

” sir , Princess needs to check the picture before you post it.” My friend Leslie calls me Princess because I am supposedly high maintenance . When I go to my bars people will ask to take pictures with me and I can’t stand when I look bad and the picture gets posted on Facebook. Really, is that high maintenance ? Excerpts from last night.
Young guy: ” Lil you are so hot I want to take you home. ”
Leslie ” princess , I think I know his mother .”
Young Guy: ” Lil what are you 33?”
Leslie ” princess , my son is as old as him.”
Me: ” dude he thinks I am 33, I love this guy.”
Hours later on Duvall St.
Leslie ” I want to go to Denny’s
Me: ” princess says NO Fucking Denny’s since you made me give up the young guy.”

Fun night last night. KW bar did well. Loved seeing all the traveling girls. Proud of my bars.

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September 20, 2013

Key West baby! Bike week

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September 19, 2013

Tahnee, NY GM, just made my day. We were talking about how close the NY girls have remained for so many years. She then said ” I am thankful for Coyote everyday cause I have such great people around me.”
Well I am grateful that Tahnee reminded me of the beauty in our lives, everyday. I need to start the gratefuls again ! Ok I will do that 21 days straight gratefuls .
I am grateful for my old house . I officially don’t own it as of yesterday . That house was where my son grew up. Good memories .
I am about to be grateful for my boxing coach not showing up so I don’t ruin my manicure .
San Juan , so close!!! Cross fingers

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September 18, 2013

Oh no my phone is ringing again. God the last two days Milwaukee has plagued me. Chantel is there helping the girls with the dances. She has verified alot of my impressions from the last time I was there. Hannah their head bartender is just being overworked. The list goes on. URGH!
I haven’t looked at the logs for two days. I need to get on point. We are having a managers’ seminar in Vegas next month. We are planning a lot of really great learning events. Even I am excited. I enjoy the lectures from outside people. We are always learning in this industry, which is why we are great!
Kevin ” I am better then you at everythig I do”
Me: ” that’s why your fat ass was behind me at the 1/2 marathon
Kevin ” Lil , you know I let you win. I can do a marathon without training after a night drinking.”
This is how our conversations typically go.
Today I recieved my blood panel results
Me: ” Kevin my doctor said that in 20 years he has only seen one patient with better blood work and that was Macky Shilstone”
Kevin: ” who the F is Macky and your doctor was just trying not to hurt your feelings and tell you that you are a fat ass.”
Me. ” I am close to super human. I am so much better then you. Inside and Out.”
Kevin: ” I will wipe the floor with you any day of the week.”
I have realized that the reason Kevin and I are constantly bickering is because we are the most pathetic people on the corporate staff. So while other people are with their spouses, on their boats, or in other ways enjoying themselves on their off time, we add on extra work,travel more for work, exercise more, and compete with each other in almost all facets of our lives.
San Juan is looking good!!!!! Buenos Noches mi Latino Guapo. Hot latin men! ( although from a young age my mother would say ” never date a latin man”. Her Colombian roots make it alright to say. Lol) I plan on saying that a lot when I head down there.
Should Kevin and I do The Manaslu Trail Race in Nepal? San Juan may put that race on hold. Buenas dia mi hombre guapo. ( I will use that one too)

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September 17, 2013

What entitles someone to board early? Traveling with minors or medical assistance . I can’t even count how many times I have seen visually regular people board with no children and no apparent injuries . What is considered medical assistance ? Asthma ? Allergies ? Overweight ? Obviously wheelchairs IE mobility issues . (My flight was delayed so I am cranky and these are my thoughts ).
Connection was in Los Angeles. Pretty people boarding . Yeah pretty stupid. ” Ma’am it’s 95 degrees with 99% humidity perhaps dressing your infant in a Parka that matches your long sleeved tunic isn’t climatologically ( not sure if that’s a word) prudent .
I Blame the nutritionist . Last night at dinner with the potential landlord, Kevin, and myself we spoke for hours on our various nutritionist recommended diets. Kevin and landlord are doing a pretty generic diet. Less starch based carbs, more protein , less fat. Mine is similar but I am not allowed to eat fruits past a certain time of day or anything sugar derived and I need to add fat. ( last week my nutritionist told me to put butter on my steak ). Who the hell knew I ate so many fruits and this is totally fucking up my MMs in my hotel room habit ! Urgh cranky

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September 15, 2013

I leave my new apartment this morning for a jog. As I jog around the corner I see police barricading all the cross streets. I had been told yesterday by a friend that my new apartment is close to Archie Mannings house. In my mind I was thinking ” wow they must be taking the Eli versus Peyton game very seriously to be protecting Archie like this.” As I continue jogging I realize that there are a lot of joggers on the street near me. I decide to follow everyone. Low and behold I cross a finish line. It appears that I ran the International School’s 5k for safety this morning. LOL
Bars sucked last night. Not horrific but nothing to write home about. Headed to Gas Lamp district tomorrow to check out a spot. Holla

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September 14, 2013

We all received our Coyote Ugly Bikini Calendar in the mail. Kevin looked at October and said ” Really, we put her name as Juicy in the calendar?” That’s what everyone calls her and she never suggested anything different . He then asked Chantel and I if we have ever had a Coyote with the moniker ” Bubbles”? Off the top of my head I can’t recall anyone named Bubbles working for us. But right now there is a #100 wager between Kevin and myself. If there was a Bubbles, my bet is that she worked at the Nashville bar. He’s betting on Memphis.
San Antonio needs to get more creative. They have had two or three girls with the Nickname Red. ( Austin has as well). Come on! What about Ginger, Carrot, Roja, Fire, Blaze? Just a few off the top of my head.

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September 13, 2013

6 am this morning . WTF is that sound coming from my car? ” hello roadside assistance “. So what started out as a bad day has turned positive. Shaman came and cleansed my new apartment ! Bam Have a new prospective deal in San Diego going smoothly Bam! Bonnie my dog passed the doggie day care intack . Bam! Got a loaner car that is nicer then my actual car . Bam! And I just got an appointment to cut my hair ” Bam.

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September 12, 2013

Will’s dad ( New Orleans bouncer) passed away . So sorry.
Thanks to Kevin and Matthew for helping to move my remaining furniture that did not fit into my pod. I am mad at myself for acquiring so much junk.
So last night I made dinner for Jackson and Kevin. ( roasted lamb. It was delicious). Jackson said that he was worried about my interview with a school in San Diego that he is applying to. A few hours later I looked over at Kevin and said ” Isn’t my son so gorgeous.” ” Mom that’s why you are going to screw up the interview !” OK Jackson, I will keep my love for you at bay during the interview and I will try not to curse.” Shouldn’t a mother express verbally their love for their child? Plus Jackson was having a fabulous hair day, can’t I remark on that?”
Managers seminar in Vegas this year!! Holla

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September 11, 2013

Twelve years ago I was living in NY watching tv and waiting for a call from Jeff, our Coyote Ugly lawyer, who had his office in the World Trade Center. It was Hours of waiting and calls back and forth from his wife but eventually we found out he was safe. Against the advice of fellow office mates, Jeff walked down 100 flights of stairs to safety right before the towers collapased. He has told me some heart wrentching stories, in fact my son did a report on his experience for school last year. But the one moment of conversation that sticks in my mind is during the call he made to me that day: ” Yeah I am safe. I was trying to walk to the bar and get some drinks but I was herded back to Grand Central.” I will never forget that. Even in tragedy, he was able to make a joke. ( even though I am sure he did want to hit the NY Coyote and get a drink). A sad day but also a triumphant day !

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September 10, 2013

Hot damn today has been a good work day. We are closing in on a space in San Juan, Puerto Rico. We have a new connection at NASCAR thanks to Jeremy. Everyone seems to love the new 2014 calendars. And the bonus was that I did not fall off my bike with the clip in pedals. ” holla!
Ben ( triathlon coach) am I the most uncoordinated client that you have?” I expected the kind ” Lil you are not uncoordinated .” What I got was ” you are the second most uncoordinated client I have.” Ok at least I am not the worst.
So I hired a shaman to come over Friday and sage my new apartment . I am very excited about this ! Make sure there is no bad juju here. ( I know. A bit eccentric)

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September 9, 2013

Stupid is as stupid does. Yesterday I went to the french quarter to watch the Saints game. After the game I was invited out by our national Redbull reps. My son had forgotten his bag in my car. I couldn’t leave the meeting so my son came and took my keys. At 11 pm when I was heading home I realize I have no car key or house key. Not the fucking day to have this shit happen. The movers will be here any second and I just got into my house. FUCK!

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September 8, 2013

Let there be rest! Have to to take some time today. ITS FOOTBALL. Go Saints!!! New Orleans had an awesome day shift yesterday. Girls are getting better . The bars did alright yesterday but nothing to writ home about. Perhaps I will go to the NOLA bar for kegs and eggs this morning.

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September 7, 2013

The mad scramble to move. Chantel and Kevin are taking some if my stuff that I could not sell. Kevin is making out with my gorgeous Horchow couch . I gave the new owners an option to buy the TVs and exercise machines . The husband wanted the exercise machines but the ” decorator vetoed that”. And they don’t believe in watching TV. Judy said ” they are young and in love. Soon enough they will need a TV so they don’t have to speak to one another .” Lol Judy is very wise.

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September 5, 2013

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September 5, 2013

I hate moving! We have to be out of my house( soon to be someone else’s house) by Monday. I rented a furnished 2 bedroom apartment as a layover until we move to San Diego. I just want to get rid of everything. My assistant Judy keeps telling me to stop selling things. The only things I want to keep are Jackson’s old books and toys , photos, art work, and our life size man getting electrocuted.
Judy ” liliana you want to sell your brand new sofa but keep the electric chair.”
Me: ” I love the electric chair!”
Yesterday I sorted through my clothes . The real estate agent was a bit shocked when I opened the door in a tiny leather mini skirt. It was from a million years ago . I wore it on a morning tv show whike being interviewed about the Coyote Ugly movie. Man it was tight but I was finally able to zipper it. ” Judy keeping the leather mini skirt.”

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September 4, 2013

Rashed Evans , the MMA fighter, was in the Key West bar last night. Very cool. Kristina is hanging up her boots in Key West. Going to miss her. She traveled the world with us. She is definitely a go getter. I have no doubt that she will excel in anything she tries. Go get em, Kristina!!! Crystal in San Antonio had her last night in SA. I would put Crystal up there as possibly the funniest girl that has ever worked for us. I could sit there and laugh for hours at things she has said on the mic. We currently have a girl in New Orleans, Mandy, who is a natural at the mic. I will have to sit in on one of her shifts and listen. She worked for us till she was 8 1/2 months pregnant and started back up 2 weeks later with a flat stomach and huge boobs. Win/win.
” We just sent someone to Milwaukee to teach the new dances. How the fuck do they only know 1 dance in its entirety? ” Well Chantel is going to head there soon. Oh brother.

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September 2, 2013

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Love to see the Milwaukee bar so busy! They rocked it this week. Mac and Tommy were hysterical at the door . Tommy reminded me of the old New Orleans bouncers! Good job. So it appears that the perferred drink at the door is Amino Acid mix. Mac always training . Girls awesome. Hannah always works hard . Danielle was on fire too

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