Past Lil Spills

Liliana Lovell, Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

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2009

May 31, 2013

My son’s dad came over yesterday when he dropped Jackson off. He told me that after he and Jackson left the game store Jackson asked ” why do those men working at the store look so depressed?” His response was ” cause they are 35 year old men working at a game store.”. Of course Jackson couldn’t understand the idea of anyone working at a game store being depressed . Jackson’s dad then said ” I know we have always told you to have passion for your job but if you are 35 working at a game store you will be just as depressed as them. Plus I will have to kill myself knowing you are 35 years old working at a game store.”
I woke up this morning to emails and texts asking if I am safe? I left on an early flight home from Oklahoma yesterday before severe storms hit again. So I am safe and sound. It’s so scary living storm to storm.
Jackson has 10 days before he leaves for camp. Little does he know that he is now my training partner and will be running, swimming, and biking. His school gave him a gift from Audobon Zoo for making the honor roll each trimester. He didn’t tell his dad and I that part of the gift was the ability to volunteer at the zoo. Poor kid thought he could just laze around all summer. He will be training with me in the mornings. The afternoons will be spent volunteering at the Zoo, library, and French camp. ” dude if you were old enough to work you would have a job this summer. Be thankful I am not sending you around the bars to help Kevin .”

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May 30, 2013

Our Coyote Ugly Whisky just got picked up by a big distributor !
I am sitting inside the Delta Lounge in Atlanta waiting for my flight. My god I feel underdressed. What delta skymiles members don’t wear yoga pants and sweatshirts to travel? As the only laid back traveler in the Delta lounge I noticed that I was the only person who tipped the bartender . I must of scored some points for that !image

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May 28, 2013

Amber ( OKC assistant manager ) is on point. I just texted her asking what she was wearing tomorrow night. ” Lil I am already getting both of us Oklahoma Tshirts to wear that proceeds go directly to the Oklahoma victims.” How cool. Every bar across the country is having live news feeds to promote our Red Cross Tornado benefit ! Even Kevin called me tonight. ” hey homie what are you wearing tomorrow?” So exciting . It feels good to give back!

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May 28, 2013

My friend Frank Fumich started his 450 mile run from DC to Boston to deliver money he and his friends raised for the people injured at the Boston Marathon. He’s nuts but his heart is in the right place.
How proud I am that tomorrow night all over the country , my bars will be raising money for the victims of the Oklahoma Tornado. I will land around 330 pm. Ready to meet and greet at the Oklahoma Coyote Ugly!! Hot damn

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May 27, 2013

Why the F.. did I look at the race results? I know I can get better at the bike and run. My coach said to me yesterday ” you hired me two weeks ago. We practiced the crawl ( swimming) for two weeks. You went in the water, freaked out, and did the breast stroke. Did it occur to you that your time would stink?” OK fine. But I didn’t drown. Now I have to do another one just so my results aren’t in the bottom quarter of the competitors.
This will sound mean and I will apologize for this before I say it. At half marathons and 10ks there are a lot of people who show up that just want to walk. Usually they are out of shape but they get their friends together and join the program. ( Its excellent that they are doing it even if they walk). I was expecting a similar occurrence at yesterday’s triathlon. When I got there and saw all of these people who looked like models from fitness magazines, I realized ” shit I am the out of shape one.” I leaned over to Ben , the coach,( Yes I know this is mean and I am sorry) ” where are the slackers who will make me feel good about myself?” his response went something like this ” perhaps you need to find another sport.” OK thats it. I have to lose fat. ( I am fucking colombian god damn it. I was predestined to have fat thighs). I will train harder. My goal is to come in at around the 50% of people who compete. I think that is realistic.
San Antonio rocked last night. GO NY, Memphis, OKC, and Denver!!
happy Memorial day to all

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May 26, 2013

Chantel and I are officially Triathletes! The swim sucked! I can say without exaggeration that I came in close to last on the swim. In the pool I had logged in 400 meters at around 10 minutes . Today took me close to 17 minutes. Urgh. The transition is hard from swim to run You run on wobbly legs to your bike . I hadn’t adjusted my helmet correctly . I actually had to ask a volunteer to help me. I also needed to change my shirt. That adds time . I made a decent time on the bike . Definitely need a better bike. I used a mountain bike hybrid. Its not fast. But I would count the people I would pass to give me encouragement. I was able to pass 15 people on the bike. Yeah.
Very Scary when the good people whiz past you on the bike. It’s very humbling. The hardest part for me emotionally was the transition from the bike to the run. I had intellectually theorized to myself that I would cruise from bike to run. I had no idea how heavy my legs would feel. The first mile was so hard. I would have to stop and rub the cramps out of my legs. I finally got into a groove and pressed forward the last two miles. So wonderful having friends there for me. This was the first race where I had people cheering me on. Kevin, Judy, Lynn, and my trainer Ben were there. ( Ben has a video of me coming out of the water saying ” that sucked”. Lol ) Really nice feeling running across the finish line to friends!
Again my time sucked. I wanted to hit 1 hour and 30 minutes but I finished in 1 hour and 47 minutes. I just have to practice more then two weeks. Lol. But I did it!! No drowning today!

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May 26, 2013

I woke this morning to a good luck text from the Austin girls. So sweet. Means a lot to me. OK Bike check in is at 6 am. Let’s do this shit!

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May 25, 2013

Hot Damn we made the Wall Street Journal!!!http://online.wsj.com/article/PR-CO-20130524-909635.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
When I started the company, I had been in the NY Times, Time Out Magazine, GQ and about a dozen more magazines and papers. My father never acknowledged anything until I was in the Wall Street Journal. All the previous accolades meant nothing but the Wall Street Journal was finally something he could be proud of. LOL. ” Well Dad this is a twofer for Coyote Ugly”
OK allowing myself to eat starches today for the big race. Fuck swimming. Chantel and I received our race numbers today and went to the briefing. Instead of getting back in the water I decided that the only course of action was to get a pedicure and buy some new running shirts. If all else fails, go shopping.

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May 24, 2013

Chantel and I had our first open water swim today. I was very scared. The waves were hitting us while we swam and it was very disorienting . I left the water with a real fear of drowning . We wore wetsuits, although the water was warm enough not to need them. The wetsuits make you more buoyant but its very restrictive. When I would start to feel disoriented I would go immediately into the breast stroke . That’s my safety swim stroke. The wetsuit was so restrictive that I was not getting enough propulsion with my legs to do the breast stroke well. I feel totally deflated right now.
I need to regroup. Sunday is the race.
Heading to OKC on Wednesday!

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May 23, 2013

Oh god! I am sick. I just received an email from one of my lawyers with a link. http://www.wjhg.com/home/headlines/Parents-Leave-Kids-in-Car-to-Drink-at-Coyote-Ugly-Saloon-208668711.html
Is it true that any press is good press? Oh god this disgusts me! I can’t wait to fall asleep so I can wake up to a better day.

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May 23, 2013

You are fucking kidding me!!!!!! Last night I went out with friends and had a bunch of wine. Like a responsible adult I decided not to drive home. This morning I went to pick up my car. From two blocks away I could see that there was no bike on the bike rack. FUCK!!! I borrowed my friend’s bike for the triathlon.FUCK!!! I even bought a new seat and bike computer for it. FUCK!!!I called her to tell her how sorry I was and that I would purchase her a new bike. FUCK!! I just went online to search for this particular bike. It’s $5000!!!! FUCKFUCKFUCK

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May 22, 2013

Natural disaster doesn’t stop the OKC bar. They had a decent night last night . Daniel is trying to put together a national Coyote Ugly Charity drive for the OKC victims . I owe the staff a night out. Thinking I will go there next Wednesday and take them to the steakhouse next door to the bar .
I received my wetsuit today . On the rental form you have to write down your body type. I put Full figured. I just tried it on and tight is an understatement . Perhaps there should be a box entitled FULLER figure . It’s probably supposed to be that tight but it took me 5 minutes to get it off . I know that it’s supposed to be removed quickly so you can jump on the bike. They give you a bottle of Astro glide. I thought Astro Glide was a sex lubricant ? Lol well where the f do I put this Astro Glide for the suit ?

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May 22, 2013

Below are some resources on helping with the relief efforts in Oklahoma.

If you are within the disaster region or searching for a missing relative, please register with Red Cross Safe & Well.

Mobile phone: Donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999 (to give $25, text DONATE to the same number) or donate $10 the Salvation Army by texting STORM to 80888. You may also donate to Feed the Children, text DISASTER to 80888.

Online:
Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org
Salvation Army: http://www.salvationarmyusa.org
United Way: http://www.unitedwayOKC.org
Operation USA: http://www.opusa.org
Regional Food Bank: http://www.regionalfoodbank.org

Call:
1-800-SAL-ARMY
1-800-RED CROSS

For Animals:

Donate funds: Search Dog Foundation

Donate food and supplies:
Oklahoma City Animal Shelter
Pet Food Pantry of Oklahoma City
Central Oklahoma Humane Society

For more information, see VetStreet.com.

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May 20, 2013

As of a few hours ago all employees of COyote Ugly Saloon OKC were accounted for. I have had a sick feeling all day. Nice to know that the bar is providing shelter for some and has been a rendezvous for people tracking other people down. I am hoping that tomorrow we will know more about people’s families and homes. There is so much pride knowing that each bar is its own little family but its days like today where the deep worry sets in. Some very good people at that bar. Couldn’t be prouder.

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May 20, 2013

OKC Staff Lizzie and Amber want to hear from everyone tonight and tomorrow . They are sending out our numbers so please check in. Be careful .

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May 20, 2013

Woke up today and went straight to my manager’s logs to find out if the staff in OKC was alright. I was shocked to see that they actually had a decent night. The Dalai Lama said that natural disasters do not discriminate by race, religion, or socio economic status. He’s correct. I will wait today to make sure our staff is safe and secure. I have a fear of tornedos. Not enough warning before a tornedo happens.
My life has taken a 180. I spent years worrying about what I ate. In youth I would count calories, worry about carbs and stay free of anything that could possibly cause weight gain. Now I spend countless hours researching food that can provide me with energy to go further in these damn races. Nothing seems to work. I have tried complex carbs like quinoa and oatmeal. I have tried to get pre enrgy shakes and powders. I have tried energy bars as well. The only common thread is that when I eat anything 2 hours or less before working out I feel sluggish. Sunday the Triathlon starts at 6:30 am. I am going to need to wake up at around 3:30 to ingest something so I can perform at an acceptable level. Urgh.
Other issue. I am severely sea sick. I have gone snorkeling with my son and thrown up in the water from only moderate waves. Friday is my first ever open water swim practice. I had this horrible vision of swimming and throwing up simultaneously. Fuck it, I will do this thing even if I am wiping vomit out of my hair for days.

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May 19, 2013

I opened my eyes to wonderful sleep and a beautiful morning. THEN I checked my phone. 4 texts from a ” special friend.” The last text being ” hey pretty girl, I just got kicked out of your bar.” The internal cringe. Really? I am dreading talking to the GM of that bar. Thank god its not New Orleans. This special friend is not that type of guy. Ok WWDLD? What would the Dalai Lama Do? He would say show compassion to both .
The Dalai Lama is so unbelievably charismatic. Funny, charming, and truly intellectual. ” religion and prayer do not create peace and harmony. Awareness through education and action create peace and harmony. ” the translation . Praying isn’t good enough. Interaction with people. Showing love and respect for others no matter what race, religion or socioeconomic backround is how to create peace in your own world .

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May 18, 2013

Rushed home last night because I scored tickets to see the Dalai Lama at the UNO Arena. I am getting more enlightened by the minute. I am very excited.

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May 16, 2013

Heading to San Antonio today. ” Marsha no liquor for me!!. The girls can sell a million bodyshots off of me but I will only allow myself some wine tonight.” I walk into my bars and there are lines of shots for me bought by loyal customers. So I appreciate the gesture but I am just 10 days away from this race and I don’t want to drink crazy.
Bam feeling strong today.

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May 15, 2013

How the hell was I supposed to know that there is a wetsuit specific to triathlons. My swim coach said ” well I hope you like surfing cause that’s all that wetsuit it worth.” WTF. Fuck surfing! After training in the pool for two weeks for this damn triathlon I don’t even like swimming. I did get my first compliment today. I guess I am getting better at a technique called Sighting. This is how you can continue to swim but glance ahead to stay on course in open water. When I tried it the other day, I would gag on the water . Nothing worse then paying someone that continually makes you feel like you are drowning. It’s as if I booked a reservation at Guantanamo and asked to get water boarded for an hour.
I am glad I didn’t sign my son up for this because I would hate to have that fear that he may drown as well as me. I am not being dramatic but the last two training sessions I have felt scared. What was supposed to be fun is now becoming scary. If I fucking drown, I will be pissed! And dying pissed is against my plans.

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May 14, 2013

Mac, Memphis GM, sent me this text. Beautiful story.
“So when I opened the doors at the bar today there was a bra tied to the handles. It’s from a lady who had survived breast cancer. It had a fake gel insert inside of one side and a cancer pin on the other. Her kids left it at our bar in honor of their mother’s passing.”
I can’t tell you how touched I am that our Memphis bar gave them and their mother joy. So moving.
I wrote my new triple triathlon friend about being discouraged. Feeling slow in every event swimming, running, and biking. His response made my day.
” Lil I remember getting passed in a marathon once and reading the back of the woman’s shirt. “You’re now getting passed by a pregnant woman.” Lol. ” Lil I also got passed in the swimming section by a one legged man. Yes it’s slightly humbling.”

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May 13, 2013

Congrats to Anna. One of our Russian partners. She just had a baby girl, Oriana. So happy for them!!
“Lil I am going to put you in touch with my friend Frank who does triathlons.” This is from my friend Tracy in Key West. He and I have now emailed a few times. Well I decided to look him up. Read this http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/local/wp/2013/04/23/arlingtons-frank-fumich-runs-78-miles-raises-33000-to-benefit-boston-bombing-victims/
My god he is giving me advice on swimming 400 meters when he just ran 3 marathons back to back to raise money for some of the injured in the Boston Marathon. He does Death races and ultra marathoning. He does triple Iron Mans. Nuts. I better up my game. I will definitely donate to this charity as my first step to triathlon success.Crazy

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May 12, 2013

So this guy I met a few weeks ago called me tonight to tell me that he was coming to New Orleans in the next month and he’s taking me out for BBQ and dancing. Just for reference sake, note that Men’s Health magazine rated Beach activities as the #1 hated date by women. Eating BBQ has got to be in the top 10. And while dancing may not rank as high as wearing a bikini in daylight or getting BBQ in your teeth, it makes me cringe since I am such a bad dancer. ” Jackson put on your dance shoes we are taking dance lessons.” Jackson’s response. ” love you but hell no!” LOL

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May 12, 2013

Talk about grateful. I opened my eyes this morning to a deluge of beautiful mother’s day texts and emails. Wow I am moved. Plus my son has gone shopping for me. Cleaned the porch. Washed the dogs. and also ran 3 miles with me. What a beautiful day. Mojo officially back!

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May 11, 2013

The girls in Key West were much better then I expected considering its a newish bar. Really impressed. Bar needs some tweaks. I am hoping by the next time I go there the changes I requested are done. ” Kevin why doesn’t the Freaking outside sign light up?” Urgh “lil the historic commission still hasnt given us the OK for the actual lighting of the sign. ” you are fucking kidding me!
Tonight I took my son and his best friend to sushi for his friend’s birthday. This is the one kid that has been part of our household since they were 4. After sushi Gabe requested Yogurtland for dessert. While we were there I looked down and Gabe barely had any toppings on his yogurt. Dude its your birthday. ” Miss Lil, I know we will go running with you tomorrow and I didn’t want you to add on extra miles if I put too many toppings on.” Oh dear lord, I have inadvertently fucked up his friend too. Crap.
Well Jackson won the PE award for the most pushups without a break. He did 60. So some of this insanity is paying off.

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May 10, 2013

Life’s precious moments! 1. Having your first child 2. Your child’s first words MaMa 3. Having video of the Director of Marketing and retail of Coyote Ugly so drunk making an idiot of himself . Priceless!!
Text from Lee a fee minutes ago “My wake up call this morning. By security asking why I was passed out in the hallway in front of my room door. Awesome “

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May 10, 2013

Lee, Kristina and I went out last night in Key West. We essentially bounced back and forth from Coyote to the bar Irish Kevin’s . When the night was closing, Kristina was asleep at the booth in Coyote and Lee was possibly the drnukest I have ever seen him. Cassie, the GM, actually stationed a bouncer next to me to thwart off these guys who were hounding me. I had to carry Lee back to the hotel. Of course we also stopped by the clothing optional place. Always the fattest people who are naked. Lol

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May 9, 2013

” Mom what’s going on ? You must of lost your mojo since you’re in a dating slump.” That’s glass half empty. I prefer to think of it as freedom to be with myself.. Blah blah blah. Ok right now I need a freaking boyfriend. There is no full length mirror in my hotel room and I need someone to tell me if I look fat in this skirt! Damn
Congrats Jazmine on your baby. So happy for you !

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May 8, 2013

Heading to Key West tomorrow. Check on things. I want to modify the merch store. Refocusing on Houston and Miami.
Text conversation with Mac
Mac:Lil you need to add more complex carbs and protein to your diet with all this extra training.
Me: Mac if I gain one pound on your diet plan I will hunt you down and off you!
Then Lee and I got into it. ” why did you post a clip from Tough Mudder on Facebook rather then the Coyote site? Am I taking crazy pills? Wasn’t the point of videoing the event to drive more traffic to the site? Urgh
Ok doing the Spartan sprint next week. Waiting to get the list of people wanting to join Kevin and I. So far only Jess from Austin is in! Come on people ! It’s only 4 miles. Get off your fat asses . I swear its hard but super fun

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May 6, 2013

This triathlon is going to be harder then anticipated. Started my swim lessons today. The positive is that he said I was a better swimmer then I had advised him. Well that was the last compliment I received. The objective of this triathlon coach is to get the student to do every event faster while using less energy. Do you know how hard it is to reteach yourself a stroke when you have been doing it the same way for years? A few times I actually started choking on water. ” dude drowning in the freaking pool is not an option.” I am exhausted! We did a million different drills. One armed freestyle, freestyle using fists, one arm in but only using your legs, breast stroke, head in, head out. At the end of the drills he said ok swim 100 meters. That seemed like the longest 100 meters ever.
Also at the most basic female level, the outfits are embarrassing. If I actually get into this sport, I will be designing new clothing.
He ended the session with what I can only imagine was a pep talk. ” Ok Lil, the day of the race, you will get yourself through the swim and the bike, then you can just bolt for the run.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I am a super slow runner. LOL
A lot of business direction changes this week. Lee, Jeff, Kevin and myself are refocusing.

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May 5, 2013

Memphis crushing everyone this weekend. Bam. I love that.
Jazzfest was so crowded. I drove by myself to meet up with friends at the Acura stage where Fleetwood Mac was going to play. It took me 1 1/2 hours to walk to their section and then another 1/2 hour to find them. I must be getting old because the crowds and bathroom lines just had me in a foul mood. What’s the point of drinking beer if you have to wait 40 minutes for the rest room?
Bought all my triathlon wardrobe yesterday, I start swimming tomorrow. ” Please let me do the breast stroke. Its the only one I am good at!” This stuff is expensive. I had this idea that you change after the swimming but au contraire, you go straight from swimming to your bike, then straight to running. When I bought the suits the woman at the desk said that the suits were not good in chlorine. Why the Fuck wouldn’t they make suits that can weather a chlorinated pool? Makes no sense.

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May 4, 2013

I loved Pinky’s managers log last night. ” had a problem with attitudes tonight. The veteran girls just keep bitching about the new girls. Maybe if they stop bitching at the new girls they wouldn’t quit. And guess what? If they quit then MORE new girls.” The frustrations of being a Coyote Ugly manager.
Went to a holistic kinesiologist yesterday. She poked and prodded me everywhere. I left sore but for the first time in weeks I wasn’t limping.
Therapist told me that my homework assignment was not to exercise all weekend . She also said I wasn’t to drink and do something I might regret later. Thursday I got pretty drunk and regrets are for the weak ! But I didn’t exercise! Katie and Leslie are a deadly combination to go out with!

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May 2, 2013

After paying my dues and signing up for the Big Easy Sprint Triathlon , I have been trying to find a coach to give me swimming pointers. After sending out many emails I received a response. ” what’s your level of swimming Miss Lovell.” My response ” swimming has always involved a tropical drink and suntan oil.” To be honest the swim part is actually an exaggeration . I usually just hang on the edge of the pool.
What is going on in the Coyote Ugly world today?

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