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Liliana Lovell, Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

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2009

November 30, 2009

The Saints are freaking awesome tonight!!! I am getting excited about the Nashville anniversary next week.

Just received dividends from Panama City. Very Nice. Their numbers are getting better every year. Very Much like Austin and Denver!!!

Toronto is a head ache. Lee is trying to get out of scouting this weekend.

A few new interesting prospects.

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November 25, 2009

I bought my son a book entitled ” Manual for the newly biten” . It reads like a real manual about what to do and expect when you first become a werewolf. My son is now obsessed with this. And yes he was told by his dad that we arrange his schedule around the fullmoons so that he does not get hurt by his father while his father is in his werewolf phase. ( 3 days a month). So he tells his friends that he is a Pureblood werewolf ( mother is normal human because she would not be able to have a child if she was changing every month into a werewolf). I was just listening to a conversation between his friend and himself. My son wants verification that Abraham Lincoln was not a werewolf. ” Mom werewolves can be good people. It’s only 3 days a month that they are in werewolf form. Perhaps John Wilkes Booth was a werewolf hunter that is why he assasinated Lincoln.

My son definitely has a great imagination!!

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November 24, 2009

Haven’t looked at the logs today yet. What is my life coming to when I am about to read Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s book?  I just went online to read about Amy Fisher, who was Mary Jo’s husband’s underage mistress that shot Mary jo in the head. (Obviously, Mary Jo did not write this book from the grave so yes she lived. ) Amy went from inmate to journalist now she does porn. Nowadays, everyone does porn so is this a fruitful career for her. I understand the fascination of watching porn but what is the fascination of being in porn? Regardless. lets see what Mary Jo has to say

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November 23, 2009

Conversation I had this week that I thought I would never have in my life!!!

1. ” Honey since I was relocated I have no real friends in this town.   I was thinking about joining a motorcycle club to make some new friends .  As my ” old lady” you may need to wear a ” PROPERTY OF…” shirt if I join.” My response,  as I was hysterically laughing, ” you are out of your mother fucking mind!!!” I am laughing as I write this.  ” Have you forgotten who you are dating?” I will wear that shirt for a Halloween costume or on April fool’s day!”

The american team got home yesterday from Moscow. I am hoping that they left the russian team completely trained. I wonder how daniel would rate the russian strip clubs over the US ones since that was his highlight?

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November 19, 2009

This is Jim (AM nashville) manager’s log! I love starting the day off laughing. Thanks Jim you made my day!! Chasity shadowed me tonight, she learned the ropes of the closing manager. She picked a good night to watch me in action. I was amazing tonight, I made all of the right moves and we had a great shift!! Only negative would be that she intentionally passed wind on my right leg.

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November 19, 2009

This is Daniel’s blog from his time in Russia

Scared shitless

Black people count:  1, 2, 3

We arrived in Moscow on Saturday.  The owners had prepared a party for us and all of the stuff with a huge spread of food.  I have to admit, I am a pussy when it comes to trying new food.  According to Lil, I was very rude because I didn’t try everything.  In that case, I was extremely rude because I hardly ate anything.  Luckily, the owners are aware of my aversion to weird food and filet mignons were served later.

Later, we went on what they call a Fleshmob here.  Definitely not something we would do in the states.  It was pretty uncomfortable.  We were going into bars and the girls were wearing coyote shirts and doing their dances on the dance floors of the bars.  Needless to say, we set records on number of bars kicked out of in one night and fastest kick outs.  We lasted around 5 mins in each bar.

It was very difficult Pre-Grand Opening

Bounce getting the girls here trained properly.  The gun system and ice didn’t appear until the day before the opening, so I had about 3 hours with the girls prior to opening.  Brutal!  I’m afraid the American coyotes won’t be much faster since they can’t speak Russian.

On Tuesday, myself, Erika (Denver Coyote), Caitlin (Memphis Coyote), Pump (Traveling security trainer), and Bounce (San Antonio Coyote) all went across from the hotel to a gas station to get some snacks.  I will preface this with the fact that there are almost no black people in Russia.  After three days, we had spotted two others besides Bounce.  The following has turned into the story of the trip and has yet to be topped….  We walk in and all pick out some water and chips, etc.  I go to pay first.  I pay and ask for a receipt.  The lady proceeds to THROW two plastic bags at me accompanied by a glare.  A little shocking, but not too crazy.  I go outside.  Bounce pays and leaves and meets me outside.  The others proceed to checkout.  As soon as they are done, the attendant runs over to the window and stares Bounce down.  Bounce turns her head and is startled by the angry stare she is receiving from this lady.  I am obviously laughing at this point.  As we leave, the crew of the station proceeds to block off the entire gas station with signs.  We all decided that it was a Whites Only gas station and they must have to disinfect everything before reopening.  We think the signs must have been “Whites only” signs.  Obviously, this may not be true because none of us speak or read Russian, but the stares Bounce was getting on the way out makes it viable.  Needless to say, we have not been back to visit this gas station or any other for that matter.   It will always amaze me that there was a time that it was worse than this in the States.   It really shouldn’t be as funny as it was, but if you were there and have any sense of humor, you would have died laughing.  We still laugh about people’s ignorance every day.

We have been counting the number of black people we see and giving high fives every time we see one.  This makes Bounce’s day when she sees another black person.  I decided to keep a count in my blog.

Lil and Lee took it upon themselves to call me fat on a daily basis since our arrival.  My brain has not been working well, and I have not come up with any good retorts.  Need to get some sleep if I’m going get my quickness back.  Anyways, according to WebMD, my weight is in the normal range, so as far as that is concerned, Lil and Lee can suck one……

Grand Opening

Bounce:  Getting more comfortable

Black people count:  4

This has definitely been one of the more trying experiences of my life.  Over the past few years as regional manager, I have become accustomed to making sure things get done the way they are supposed to (some would disagree and say I get them done the way I want them), but either way, it has worked so far.  I take pride in the fact that when I say I will do something or achieve something, I do.  Period.  Here, I cannot really give orders as I am working for the owners here, so some of my suggestions have fallen on deaf ears it seems.  We ran out of ice and change on opening night.  Two very important things in the world of bars.  You cannot operate without them.  Lil actually called it the night before.  She said,”Has anybody made sure that these guys have all the basics covered such as change?”  Pretty amazing since we were out of change within a couple of hours of opening.   We fought through it, though.  Throughout the night, I was warning the owners of these problems, but nobody seemed to care.  I finally freaked out and got pretty pissed.  I think Lil thought it was funny, but I am just used to having things run as smoothly as possible when it comes to things we can control.  Oh well……

Overall, the opening went okay.  The ring was pretty solid.  Tips were not very good.  Something we will have to work on during our entire trip.  Everything is tougher here because of the language barrier.

Day 2 – Thursday

Bounce:  Still alive

Black people count: 5

Today, we all met in the office to talk about the grand opening.  Lil, myself, Lee, Ruslan (Russian owner), and Anna (Russian owner).  I got a little upset about the lack of attention to the issues that had arisen during the grand opening.  I felt like there was a lot not getting done that needed attention.  Hopefully things will start getting taken care tomorrow.   Slower night than expected at the bar….

Day 3 – Friday

Bounce:  Not kidnapped yet

Black people count: 6

A lot busier tonight.  People are staying all night long which means they’re having fun, but we just need a few more bodies through the door to really get it going here.  The owners here are starting to understand the seriousness of making sure everything is set up correctly.  Very happy with their efforts to make sure things run smoother.  Starting to see a lot of myself in the manager.  She is female and very tough.  All of the Russian coyotes are very scared of her.  Reminds me of myself a few years ago.  Lil has been trying to soften me up over the past couple of years, and these days, I think I have gotten too soft.  I’m sure there are a few girls out there that have received one of my verbal lashings that would disagree.

Jeff W. stopped by the bar tonight to have a beer or ten and say goodbye.  He flies back to U.S. tomorrow.  One of the Russian coyotes came in to party on her day off, and he thought she was throwing some looks my way.  This particular girl calls me “Big Boss Man.”  Jeff thought that was very funny, so he is now addressing me in emails as the big boss man.  I could get used to that…….

Day 4 – Saturday

Bounce – Wondering why she is such a pussy when it comes to drinking.  Also wondering how she can hold a gallon of cappuccino in her belly.

Black people count:  Remains at 6

I’ve had trouble sleeping the entire trip here.  My clock is so messed up in the states because my hours vary depending on what city I’m in and what I’m doing in that city.  Sometimes closing down the bar, sometimes just doing meetings with the managers during the day.  Doing both for quite a while here, so I haven’t been able to get a decent sleep schedule.  All the girls and Pump are having the same problem.  Looking forward to a day off tomorrow.  Ruslan and Anna are taking all of us to dinner, then to the strip club.  The women here are beautiful so I’m expecting to be amazed.

I can tell the Russian coyotes are improving.  The ones that pay attention are quickly rising above the others.  It is very difficult to teach them sales without speaking their language.  Even the translators have trouble translating some of the things I have to say.  Although Lil would not want me to say half the things I do, Anna (Russian owner) actually asked me to be hard on the girls.  Love it….

Bar did decent.  Still need more people through the door.

Day 5 – Sunday

Bounce:  Happy (obviously, she got her first lapdance)

Black people count: 6

Finally got to sleep in today.  Much needed.

We went to the bar and met Anna and Ruslan at 8:00pm.  We went to Goodman’s Steakhouse for some Filet Mignon.  We found out tonight that we achieved quite a few firsts for Bounce.  First Filet Mignon, first lapdance (more on that later), and first time to see snow.  She must’ve lived a very sheltered life.  Dinner was great.  I’m starting to realize what crappy hosts Americans are (including myself).  Ruslan and Anna have taken phenomenal care of us during our time here.  Ruslan and I had a rough start during his training in the states, but he has become a friend of mine ever since then.  A sincere thank you to both of them for making our time here so enjoyable.

So, after steaks, we went to a strip club called Showgirls.  Ruslan bought all of us a lapdance.  I think Bounce and Caitlin got the best of them.  Caitlin couldn’t decide which girl she wanted, so I suggested that she get the two that were always dancing together.  Bounce picked a girl in a very interesting outfit.  I won’t go into too much detail on what happened back there with them, but I would guess that there were more clothes shed than the stripper had on……..

After the strip club, Ruslan, me, Caitlin, Bounce, and Erika all went to Ruslan’s karaoke club.  I have sang (most would consider it screeching) karaoke twice in my life.  The last time was in Orlando where I sang “Ice, Ice, Baby.”  There was not a single sound from the crowd at the conclusion of that rendition.  I must’ve gotten hammered because I did quite a few songs at Ruslan’s club.  Bounce was very scared to sing, but she was actually pretty good.  Caitlin and Erika sang a few, and Ruslan surprised us all with a few renditions of a few Russian songs.  Overall, a great time!

Day 6 – Monday

Bounce:  Tired from a long weekend.  Wondering why she didn’t see any black people today.

Black people count:  Remains at 6

Went into the bar today.  Had a meeting with all of the managers and owners regarding all of my notes from the first week.  I think it went well.  It is nice to know that the advice I give them is not falling on deaf ears.  The coyote concept, in my opinion, is a lot tougher to understand than it may seem.  It takes a lot of training to actually get it right.  I have my fingers crossed that they are able to get it quickly and run with it.

The bar was very slow tonight.  We need to get the weekdays up and running.

Day 7 – Tuesday

Bounce:  Wondering where the black people are?

Black people count: 7

Pump, the girls, and I went in tonight to observe and push the girls some while on their shift.  They got a decent crowd in there and the girls were selling bodyshots like crazy.  It was good to see.  We gave them pointers throughout the night and we may have had a few cocktails during the night.  It was a long night, but I think a lot was accomplished by it.

Pump is beginning to feel worthless.  He really can’t communicate with the security staff, so he is just mainly focusing on keeping the American girls safe during their stay.  He wasn’t feeling well tonight, but he toughed it out.  He’s been great at making sure the girls don’t do anything retarded, so kudos to him….

Day 8 – Wednesday

Bounce:  Wondering why people still speak to you in Russian when they know you don’t speak Russian.  Also wondering where all the black people are.  Still alive and kicking.

Black people count: 8, 9, 10

I think I got a bit hammered last night.  Anna and I were talking downstairs for awhile.  Didn’t really realize it until I woke up this morning.  I needed to get drunk.  I’ve been a lot more sober in Russia than I expected.  They don’t drink vodka for breakfast like I was hoping they would.  I would probably have to move here if that was the case…..

Okay, this was a fucked up day.  The girls and I were running out of clothes, so Ruslan arranged for a driver to pick us up and take us to a Laundromat.  Wow!  It was 45 minutes away.  It was tiny.  It had a little old lady that kept speaking Russian to us even though we had told her multiple times that we only speak English.  It had the slowest water in the world.  It didn’t have enough seats.  Anyways, it ended up taking us about 5 hours to do our laundry.  I felt bad for the drivers waiting on us.  The water was just dripping, so washing a load took almost 2 hours.  Insane.  The Russian lady that was in charge kept talking to us, so I started singing her a song in English.  It went something like, “This laundromat blows, your water sucks.”  She didn’t understand.  The dryers sucked too, so I ended up just taking my clothes back wet.  I ended up trying to sleep on the floor while Bounce, Erika, and Caitlin tried to sleep on the chairs…  Brutal.

We went into the bar tonight and I had just sat down to start working on email when Ruslan walked up to me and said, “You want to go to strip club again.”  Needless to say, my arm did not have to get twisted.  He and I went while Pump and the girls stayed at coyote working with the girls.  Was fun hanging out with him.  We went to a couple of places and had a great time.  The women here are stunning and ridiculously thin and in shape.  I also added 3 to the black people count while there….

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November 18, 2009

Now let’s talk about Moscow opening night!! Girls looked awesome!

Now lets talk business. The bar was packed within a half an hour of opening the doors! It was great in one way and miserable in another. The 4 girls who know how to bartend can’t speak russian. The service area was disorganized so I helped along with two other girls. Not only could I not understand customers ordering drinks but I couldn’t understand the orders from the cocktail waitresses. It was like playing charades communicating. The cocktail waitresses would leave their posts for 20 minutes at a time to dance on the bar. I would have to find a girl who spoke english and russian to yell at them  to get off the bar. The barbacks were completely useless. It is a cultural issue for them to clean glasses so getting them to do anything productive was virtually impossible. Then when things started running a little bit smoother, pow, the bar runs out of petty cash ( small bills). Fuck. The stress was unbelievable. The people that didn’t seem stressed were the actual Moscow owners. ” Lili please don’t worry. Look people fun”. And people were having fun but Daniel, Lee, and myself were stressed the fuck out!  Then other incidents. The ice machine broke down. But I consider that a good sign since most of my ice machines have broken down opening night. A girl got locked in the bathroom for 20 minutes.  A guy got locked in the bathroom as well. Its funny but I always say this ” something is always going to go wrong on openings. As long as the customers don’t know  about it then you’ve done a good job.” Well the customers didn’t know about it so I guess we did a good job. For all the stress and language issues, it was freaking fun. And the bar will do very well!! Go Moscow.

By the way , every barback quit after opening night! LOL

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November 16, 2009

I still have a lot more to post about Russia but have been inundated with emails.

One tip to the American traveler going to Russia: Bring a heavy parka but no sweaters. We found out very quickly that the weather can be bitter outside but inside they keep the temperature at nearly 85 degrees. It was visibly uncomfortable for all the americans but so normal for the locals! Saves a lot of suitcase room if you don’t pack heavy clothing!! I thought the girls were going to faint on the bar because they were so hot!

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November 16, 2009

training-girlsrussian-coyotes-glaring-atDanielmoscow-bmflindsey bodyshot russiaAmerican girls learning Russian choreographyJeff, Myself, and Ruslan owner of Coyote Ugly Moscowlee with ruslandFirst Dinner buffetcoming-soon

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November 16, 2009

Working: The owners hired us translators to help us hold employee meetings. On Tuesday, the day before the opening,  we had the girls  all day trying to hold bartending classes. The bar did not have a soda system installed or ice so lets just say we were strapped to teach real bartending, and of course they only had  5 girls who had ever bartended before. Daniel held classes all day while I gave interviews to about twenty different publications, tv stations, and celebrity magazines. At one point I see Lee taking video of daniel holding a bartending class. Lee told me he needed to video tape Daniel being mean with a translator. At one point I heard Daniel look at the translator ” tell the girls to shut the fuck up”. I am very proud of Daniel he was definitely calmer for this opening.  He held his tongue quite a bit. I am sure it is a mixture of being part of corporate going in to advise a licensee and the size and scariness of the bouncers!!

Everyone in their life has some deep seated fears. I have two. 1. Public speaking. Specifically giving a speech in front of a lot of people. I am terrified of that. 2. Having my picture taken professionally in front of others. On Tuesday my second fear came to fruition. OK magazine of Europe had been booked by the russian PR company to photograph me. I didn’t know this, thank god, so when they showed up I started to feel very anxious. Then the nightmare started to get worse. They had brought stylists and I was to model 5 evening gowns while on the bar. ” I’m not a model. I don’t know how to do that.” ” Please god let this be over quick!” The first gown was this beautiful red gown. The photographer told me that he wanted the first shot to be of me crawling on the bar. That wasn’t enough of course I was told to ” roar like tiger” If this wasn’t humiliating enough it happened to coincide with our planned full staff meeting. ” Please god let this end! Please god can you stop Daniel and Lee from laughing! Please god can you translate into russian, “I can not roar like lion!” This horror went on for 3 hours. People walking in and out while I posed in weird position with different dresses making goofy faces. About an hour in I asked Daniel for a shot of vodka and I loosened up. I was never able to ” roar like tiger” but I nailed ” smile like you are in love with me” and ” surprise like prey being pounced by predator.”

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November 14, 2009

I just got back from Moscow. What a week.

Last Friday we were all still waiting for our visas and passports . I received my visa at 6:45 in the morning on Friday my flight was at noon. We all flew into DC from our various cities and were scheduled to fly out of DC  at 5 pm and land in Moscow at 10 am ( Russia time) . Moscow is 9 hours ahead of Central time. Jet lag going over is so much harder then returning. That particular night we were picked up by the Russian owners ( very nice people) with help from some of the Coyote BMFs and taken to a great restaurant. We met all the staff that eveining. The girls were so much prettier then the pictures I had received. All of them had incredible bodies and a few of them were truly model level beautiful. Lee had told management that when we open a bar we take the girls out on the Saturday night before the opening to create awareness about Coyote. When we ( corporate USA) do this we always call ahead to arrange a table and just verify with the various places that it is alright to showcase our girls. The licensees of Coyote Ugly Moscow wanted to do the same thing but they did not understand the part about calling  up the owners of the various clubs that they had  scheduled for that evening. Hence our first night in Moscow was spent getting kicked out of every place we went. If they wanted attention they certainly got it.  The service in Moscow is definitely not NY level. At one of the clubs it took me a half an hour to get one drink. Of course by the time I received my drink we were getting kicked out of the club. Finally we went back to the hotel. Exhausted.

There is so much to tell that I think I should put it in categories. First food .

Russian food:The first night they had a buffet of very traditional Russian food. Being brought up by a foreign mom I was always taught that you eat everything and you are very gracious. Lee has traveled so much with the company that he knew to be gracious so he ,like me,  tried a little bit of everything. I looked over at the American crew and they each had the equivalent of one cracker on their plates. I felt like my mother.  I was embarrassed that they didn’t try more. For the most part everything was good. A lot of dishes are potato based, so you can’t go wrong with that. There were a few dishes that had a mix of fish that  I didn’t recognize,  and aspic ( which is a weird fat gelatin). I can’t lie,  there was this one fish gelatin dish that almost made me gag. But both Lee and I ate them like gracious guests. The foods that were incredible were the Borst soup, beef stroganoff, and few meat patties. Very few vegetables. Russian food is very heavy. I can only surmise that the extreme cold weather and the constant walking is why the Russians from Moscow were so thin.

Vodka: I always had the impression that Russians drank Vodka all day straight out of the bottle. Now I realize that Russians drink Vodka like Italians drink wine. Its actually always accompanied by food. At the beggining of a meal,  if you have a big enough group, a whole bottle of Vodka is ordered. Everyone is given a shot glass and you sip it through out the entire meal. Needless to say , I drank vodka every night and never had a hangover. Beluga Vodka is now my favorite.

Drinks: This has to be put into two parts. What they drink and how its served. Obviously vodka is drunk substantially. But they drink a lot of cocktails, cosmos, Mojitos, champagne drinks. But how its served is differently at a bar then at a club. IE. Vodka and Tonic. At a bar you will receive a shot of vodka a glass of ice and asmall bottle of tonic. Its up to you to either mix the drink or drink them all seperately. At a club you would get it mixed.

Chinese delivery just got to my house so I will continue this later.

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November 6, 2009

WE just spent two days in Biloxi shooting the 2010 Calendar!! I swear this is going to be the best one.  The freaking girls got drunk and missed their flights going home.

I just received my visa for Russia at 6:45 am this morning. So I am odd to catch a flight. I am feeling very ansy leaving Jackson and Trey. But I am excited about going to Russia and working. I will try and take good pictures! I need a sedative today for how uneasy I feel.

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November 3, 2009

This is a first. A girl in Nashville quit because her horse slipped in mud and she now has a sprained ankle. My bullshit barometer is going off. She was lazy anyway. Good luck. Hope the horse is alright!
I forgot to say that Austin and San Antonio rocked Halloween!!
I am freaking so busy. Starting calendar shoot tomorrow. They booked me too early on friday so I am completely stressed out that I can’t make my flight on time.

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November 2, 2009

This is from Jim , Nashville AM.
Dear Liliana,

Thank you for approving our bonus. Once again you’ve chosen an
excellent time to distribute them. I had no idea how I was going to
afford my Brazilian wax and liposuction appointment I have on Friday
then BAM! Kyle tells me were getting bonuses this week!!
Bam . My bonus didn’t even go into my account . The whole thing went directly to the IRS.
Ft Lauderdale with huge Halloween numbers!!

Have you seen Chastity Bono? She is transitioning to a man. It’s Chaz now not Chastity. Well she did it ! She looks just like a man

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