Past Lil Spills

Liliana Lovell, Coyote Ugly Saloon Founder

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2009

August 31, 2009

I can’t even access my emails today. We use pair.com or mail2web to access our emails. Its getting harder and harder for it to load. The spam is unmanageable. I asked the webdesigner if we could just start a whole new email address and start from scratch?
I got ticks from our manager’s seminar in he woods. Jeff called today and said he had poison ivy. Fun

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August 27, 2009

Yesterday we took the managers to a confidence training course. Freaking funny. It was at a military base. We had to scale walls, hop walls, balance on logs, and swing from a rope to land over a wall. Some of our male managers seemed a bit worried due to their non jenny craig diets. I leaned over to Lee and said ” is it weird that all the corporate staff is in the best shape even though these managers are 10 years younger. he look of fear on some of these people’s faces was priceless. Next year we decided on paintball. That will be so much fun. Overall I thought the seminar was informative and it was a good morale booster for the various bars!
Today we did our corporate picture. The idea was to be playing poker in a italian/gangster style era dress. The players : Lee, Daniel, Jeff, Kevin, Chantel, Jacqui, and myself. All the women got their hair and makeup professionally done. The men wore suits and hats. At first things went very well . Everyone was having fun with the shoot. Then I think all of the girls either straight out cried or welled up with tears because none of us were happy with how we looked. At one point Lee came over to me like a deer in headlights ” I’m sorry I don’t know what to do. You guys seem so upset” . All I could say was two things. 1. In our jobs we spend the whole year promoting the coyotes. It’s always about how good the girls look. How to dress them . How to make them the best they can be. Only once a year is it about us. We want to look the prettiest we can look too even if it is just for that day. The bottom line is we are all women and two of us had our periods.
On a good note , the guys looked awesome and my pledge is that next year I will get drunk and have fun. Fuck it!!!!

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August 26, 2009

I couldn’t sleep last night. I have this anxiety of Daniel opening his unpolitically correct mouth in Russia and having big problems. Daniel is one of my best employees. He works very hard and is incredibly valuable to the company but the words that come out his mouth while addressing the various staffs are worse then any truck driver I know. ” He retard!” that a normal greeting from Daniel. ” That guy will spend a million bucks in this bar so eye fuck the shit out of him and get his money!” I thought I was bad but I cringe sometimes when I listen to him. Jeff was late to the seminar and missed Daniel’s presentation. The short of one of Daniel’s teachings was, and this is in my words because his words are worse, ” always cultivate positive relationships with your regulars. In your regulars you have plumbers, lawyers, electricians, ac guys, carpenters. Do you know how much money you can save if you get the regulars to do some of the maintenance work. If you have to fuck Joe blow so we get free plumbing work , then do it.” Oh my god did Daniel just ask the managers to exchange cleaning pipes for getting our pipes cleaned?” I can only imagine him telling the Russian staff to ” eye fuck the local plumber” and then having a russian mafia boyfriend beating the shit out of him. I told Jeff, Kevin, and Lee ” we have 3 months to get Daniel more PC so we don’t get killed!!!
Reading the second book in the Twilight series. This is the worst mushy junk I have ever read. ” Please either vampire or werewolf kill her so we can put an end to her misery and the readers!!!

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August 26, 2009

I am just getting to bed from the Managers seminar. We ran very late but it went very well. I was really proud of the corporate staff because they did such an excellent job preparing for their various discussions. I want to list he awards we gave out today because I am so proud of our company and the people behind its success!
MVP: Kyle Nashville
Best Back of house : Judith Memphis
Best Marketer: Nick Denver
Most Dedicated manager: Tommy San Antonio
Best Merchandise manager: Jim Nashville

Best Check average: Ft. Lauderdale
Highest sales: Nashville
Highest sales per sq Ft New York
Most profitable San Antonio

2008

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August 23, 2009

So I made the mistake by starting a facebook page a few days ago. What a mistake. Anyone ever associated with Coyote is emailing me. I feel like it is not appropriate to be communicating on facebook with my employees. All I wanted to do was try and find some old friends from high school and college and so far I have not found anyone I have looked for.
Stressful. Lee old me that he has given up on it. I understand why.We are redoing our corporate picture. Sapranos meets poker. Is it wrong to buy a pinstriped suit keep the tags on and return it? I won’t do that, I’m a shopoholic I will have o keep he suit even if I never wear it.
OKC had a rough night last night. A few tragedies with family members of staff. Aloha went out. Tabs missing. Ice machine down. I remember managing on nights like those. Now I laugh but in the midst of a Saturday night and everything is falling apart i’s like your in a personal hell

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August 22, 2009

A friend of mine manages another company. ( not a bar). We are always going back and forth with issues that occur with the workers. He just called me this morning livid at his assistant. This particular guy is a Jesus fanatic and wears bracelets with Jesus motos etc . The call he just gave me was freaking hysterical. He was irate because this guy did very poorly at organizing his workday. After he explained to me the situation he ranted to me as if he was speaking to his subordinate ” … what would Jesus do, hank?” ” Isn’t that what you are always telling me and your kids? So really Hank, what would Jesus do? Would Jesus let his job go to hell?” ” Really Hank is that what Jesus would do?” I was roaring laughing because I started chiming in ” Hank, Jesus was the epitome of a people’s manager. He would have all the apostles working to make sure the job got done.” “Hank, Jesus knew how to delegate authority. Haven’t you learned anything from Jesus?”
I know I will get hell for this spill but it really was funny at the time and being very religious doesn’t mean that you are exempt at doing your job.
. I can only imagine calling one of my people and saying ” Kevin, really what would Jesus do to get your job done?” ” Daniel, do you think the lord does such a shoddy job?” Funny

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August 21, 2009

A lot of phone calls today. Hopefully they were productive.
We are holding a managers seminar next week. Should be fun.

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August 19, 2009

I am nuts today. I received the OKC manager’s log and was a bit pissed about something that transpired. Thank god it was explained!!
Denver rocking last night.
Planning a trip to Russia and Germany. One of the russian licensees is very gung ho about opening. In one way that is a positive but she is not understanding some basics about our business. She wants to start the girl search right away but Lee and I keep on telling her that if she does that it will be a mistake because people don’t want to be unemployed for 2 months before the bar opens. She has the same ideas for everything else as well. ” It’s too early for that.” I have been getting calls from all my guys because they are trying to tell her to have patience.

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August 17, 2009

The bars kicked ass this weekend! San Antonio and nashville had killer Saturday night numbers . Denver has been rocking. OKC as well.
Nice way to start the week when the bars are doing so well.
Today Jackson started school! I am so happy!
In the next month we are launching a Nation wide promotion that I am very proud of. I can’t wait to get all of our posters and press kits made.

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August 14, 2009

My GM from OKC told me that the girls had taken in 3 counterfeit bills. Phil made it a mission to review the tapes and figure out who was pawning off these bills. He even called in the police and offered video as proof toward apprehending the perp. My morale compass obviously is way off because when I found counterfeit money at the NY bar, I would take the ten dollar bill or twenty dollar bill that was counterfeit , bring it to the local Laundromat where I would use the money to buy quarters. I know that’s horrible because I would essentially pass of the bad bill to someone else, reclaiming real money. Oh well Phil is a better person then me.

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August 12, 2009

I am feeling so emotional today after Jackson’s haircut. It is so short. I swear in the 10 minutes it took to cut his hair he aged 2 years. He no longer looks like a baby but a big boy. I know the beauty of today was that he gave his hair to a great charity and he absolutely loves his haircut. In fact he had me go to the store and buy him hairgel to spike it up a bit on top. So my baby looks old and the little boy whom everyone once called ” my clone” now looks just like his dad. His dad joked with me and said ” you can’t stand that for once he looks more like me” My response was” yes he now looks more like you but a lot better”
Again the charity we sent his hair to is ” Children with Hairloss”

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August 11, 2009

The day has finally come! Tomorrow my son is donating his hair to a Charity called ” Children with Hairloss” After doing some research I found out that some of these charities receive hair donations but do not donate the wigs to the people who need them. It was important to my son that kids with financial problems were able to get the wigs without cost. The two charities we decided on were ” Children with Hairloss” and ” Wigs for Kids” . The choice became easy because one charity had a minimum of 8 inches with a ponytail and the other charity was 12 inches with a ponytail. 8 inches it is!!! Crap I just measured my own hair and its passed 10 inches so it looks like I will be donating as well!

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August 11, 2009

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. I have to sign some very important documents. It took me about 15 minutes to set up my fax machine. Now Rob our trademark lawyer called me and he also can’t figure out how to send the fax from his end. I have no idea what’s wrong!

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August 11, 2009

Only a week ago I felt like we were on a roll. Things were really falling into place. Now this week I feel like things have slowed down. Jackson goes back to school next week so I am going to start going around to the bars. I need to feel busy . I got a call last week about one of the New Orleans girls quiting after 3 years of working for us. Chantel was upset over it but in my mind we have to face reality. This is a bartending job and most people move on to other things. Unless they have aspirations in management then you have to expect that they will get bored or just move on to greener pastures. I say Good Luck and hope you come in as a customer.
I got a speeding ticket on Saturday. I was so pissed. Jackson was in the car and afterwards I said that I was pissed off. He said ” mom can’t you just say P O’d instead of using such bad language?” Ok so I am PO’d

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August 7, 2009

Slow day today. I went onto my lilspill emails and there were 35 pages for the last few days. 75% of that was junk mail. But I went far enough back to get a ” God is giving you a wake up call to raise your son to honor Jesus.” This email came after I wrote about my rafting trip with jackson and our near scarey experience. This woman went on in the email to tell me that it is our job as parents to make sure our kids believe in Jesus and prepare our children for the gift of Christ’s death on the cross. She then said that my rafting accident was God giving me a wake up call. I am sorry for her that the God she believes in would actually harm or scare someone into believing in him. That is not the God I know. So so nice of her to write me. She must be a godfearing woman just trying to help the heathen!
On another note. I have a new favorite show ” Hung” I am gaga over Thomas jane the lead character.
Slow day at work. Kevin is out in Denver because of the AC problems. I received a very complimentary email about Christhian and Nicole from Oklahoma.
I am going to post the radio conversation with our custom bike winner. Very funny

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August 6, 2009

You know you are in the country when your apartment is inundated with crickets instead of roaches. I went to help Trey set up his new apartment and there were crickets all over the place. I grew up in an apartment until I was 12. Then promptly I moved back into an apartment at 17. I am used to roaches. Crickets do seem cleaner but they hop.
Trying to help figure out the liquor trends in Russia. I will probably go out there in September. I don’t know if the ” no pussy drinks” rule applies to a country that downs Vodka like water. One of the women involved in the Moscow license made me laugh so hard. Kevin was suggesting a lower level cigar / smoking area for some semi unusable space in the moscow parcel. Her response was ” there is no such thing as smoking rooms in Russia. People can smoke in the hospital after a heart attack.” LOL

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August 3, 2009

Hot damn the bars are doing great!!! The only issue seems to be the AC in Denver and OKC. These are water cooling systems which present certain problems. I think the OKC landlord is chinzing on the AC for the whole area. ” It’s fucking 105 degrees freaking up the tonnage to the unit and stop shutting it off at night!” I have a feeling he is shutting the whole system down and its impossible to cool the place without proper AC.
One of our investors happens to run a financial service that includes many professional football players. I just got an email from him offering tickets to a few saints games. I love that. I will wash your back you wash mine!!!!

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August 1, 2009

At the San Antonio bar 2 nights in a row. I am not as young as I used to be. The girls did a superhero versus supervillan dress up theme . Wow did they look hot! Cat woman was so sexy. There are a lot of new girls which brought in a positive vibe . One of the old girls pissed me off she came up to me and said ” lil it’s not as fun as it used to be with all these new girls .” I said it’s not our job in management to make sure you have a good time! Just go to work , make money, if you end up having fun well that ‘s a bonus. I want to thank marsha and Tommy . They have done a great job. For the first time , San Antonio is beating nashville’s numbers and a lot if that is due to their hard work and love for that bar. The new bathrooms are great too. Daniel said to me ” my only criteria now for the bathrooms is that if anyone tries to punch the walls that they leave with a broken hand! Haleluia (sp).
Exciting news yesterday we just signed to open a coyote in Moscow . So exciting

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